Parental One-Upmanship
By Glinda
We parents can be a competitive lot.
Sure, we all think that our little duckling is the sweetest, bestest child in the world. And what better way to show that loving devotion to the rest of the world than by throwing a ginormous birthday party for a three year old?
I remember back in the day when you were lucky to even have a pinata to hit. Any prize you got was usually because you won one of the games. So as long as you had a few games of musical chairs and fed guests a slice of pizza, all was good and right with the world. Oh, and those cone hats were de rigeur as well. However, I in no way lament the passing of that particular fashion statement.
But nowadays one measly pinata is so not going to cut it. I don’t know who the first parent was to think that renting a bounce house was a fab idea, because they have so ruined it for the rest of us. Bounce houses led to mini-trains, and then pony rides, which then created roving bands of various animals ranging from lizards and snakes to a yard full of puppies.
And don’t even get me started on the gift bags. Again, I don’t know when the particular “tradition” of giving each attendee a gift bag began, but it used to be that just showing your young guest a good time and feeding them cake was good enough. Now, there is almost as much planning and forethought put into the guest bag as to the party itself. Girls get one type of bag, boys another. I have literally been to parties where I am quite sure the gift bag cost more than the present I bought for the birthday child. Which is not to say I’m cheap, mind you, but a sign of just how easy it is to go overboard.
If a parent can take that just one step further than the last birthday party on the block, they’ve got bragging rights. Because not only did Johnny get a 5-in1-bounce house, but an old-timey popcorn cart, custom cotton candy maker, and a private screening of the hottest kid’s movie. That leaves all the other parents at the party smiling brightly at the host, masking the deep resentment of trying to come up with an even more elaborate party. Damn the Smiths and their snow cone machine!
When will it end?
At least the Beatles aren’t an option.
Because if they were, I guarantee you a mom or dad would be on the phone with their agent, pleading that little Muffy MUST hear the live version of “Love, Love me Do” for her first birthday.
September 18th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Just say ‘no’!
Seriously, I refuse to go over the top for my kids’ birthday parties, and I’m pretty sure they won’t end up in therapy for it. Fortunately, around 8 or so the kids seem to stop giving out gift bags full of useless plastic crap.
September 18th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
My first reaction was the same as dgm.
I only have one friend in the area in the income bracket of those-who-rent-bounce-houses for birthday parties. At the last birthday party for my daughter, she interestingly remarked that “the birthday parties I throw are the way birthday parties were meant to be.” (Cake: made by mom. Games: bits of posterboard drawn on by mom. Gift bags: little brown lunch bags colored on by birthday girl with cheap plastic toys from the dollar store. Destined to be lost/broken/thrown out anyway. Decorations: clearance section of local party store. Fun had by kids romping unrestrained through house: tons.)
My child’s birthday party should be about my child having fun with her friends, and that’s where I try to keep the emphasis.
September 18th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
When my daughter was the right age for these kind of parties, we usually took her to the park and let the kids play and feed the ducks. We fed them pizza. That’s it. My daughter has gone to many a party with ponies or jumpy houses or magicians, but I’m not a competitive person and just think, yay for them. I’m not even interested in doing that kind of party.
Now my daughter is 12, and birthdays are more about a sleepover and ice cream somewhere where the kids can sit and pretend that they don’t know us. 😉
September 18th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I’m a firm believer in the old “age +1” number of guests, at home, or a park with food my kid picks and if we’re lucky one of the relatives comes in from out of town. Once we took a smaller number of kids out to the movies. And yes, all the parents remark on what a “nice idea” a small party is – like it’s revolutionary or something. I have to admit I go in for the goody bag though. I always loved those bird whistles with the water in them that sounded like real robins and the candy bracelet. Still love the candy bracelet. But definitely nothing more extravagant than the bags of marbles I gave out at my daughter’s 7th.
September 19th, 2008 at 7:57 am
We never did goodie bags when I was little (they hadn’t been invented then) but for my eleventh birthday my dad did take everyone up in a plane and do aerobatics, on condition they not tell their parents. Too bad I had the flu and got airsick; everyone else thought it was the very bee’s knees!