I dunno if you’ve been following the heartwarming(ish) saga of Harvey Kindlon, a boy with a fascination for celebrity and a soon-to-be-deleted Facebook account. But you are about to become acquainted with the closest thing the celebrity gossip blogosphere has to classic tragedy, with bonus Hollywood happy ending tacked tackily on.
Here is Harvey, doing his thing a few days ago:
That image would speak for itself, if in fact Harvey were a normal, enthralled 11-year Megan Fox fan. In fact, he’s a semi-regular celebrity hound of generic ilk, who sadly doesn’t really give a rat’s patootie about the Brunette du Jour except that she is indeed du Jour. But someone at Kodak saw this heart-wrenching picture and decided to mend the heart that had been so clearly broken; they offered a $5000 reward for information leading to the identification of the Boy with the Yellow Rose. Like a newfangled detective force of the internets, they got their fan.
Surprisingly, he’s not Texan at all:
Tell us about what happened that night.
We’d heard she was in London for the premiere, so we decided to head down there. I picked up the rose on the way.
And when she came by and didn’t take your flower, did you feel rejected?
I felt rejected. But I couldn’t really tell if she’d done it on purpose. There were so many cameras around. She was moving really fast. Afterwards we ran through the hotel, but she didn’t stop. I dropped the rose on the ground and went home.
Have you accepted her apology?
I actually haven’t heard anything that she’s said.
So do you want to go into the entertainment industry when you’re done with school?
I really love to sing and dance and act. I’m trying to get into a stage school in London, but it’s really hard to get an audition.
I bet you’ll get an audition now, now that everyone knows who you are.
I hope so.
Harvey, buddy, please. I’m not sure I know of a single comedy, drama or musical that requires a tragic pubescent rose-thrower. Although if there was, even Simon Cowell would have to give it to you.