As a collectivist denizen of darkest Canuckistan myself, I totally heart these. We should make them standard uniform in our military; it would make peacekeeping duties in former Soviet republics just that much more lively, don’t you think? I certainly hope a portion of the proceeds from sales are going to support urban renewal projects in Havana, yet somehow one doubts. They were, after all, hanging up next to the Pink Panther socks, and the Pink Panther is a well-known right-wing Libertarian.

Does his agent know about this?

Stolen from Houseplant Picture Studio, via Nag on the Lake.

And of course, no guerrilla fashion ensemble would be complete without:

When you are the new parent of an infant, the whole shoe thing, it’s hard. Well, actually the entire infant thing is hard, but you’ve got this little bundle and you think, should I put shoes on those adorable feet? Are socks better? Or perhaps nothing at all if weather permits?

I know that my own mother gave me exactly zero advice on matters such as these. I often wonder if it was because she didn’t want to seem like an overbearing grandma, always telling me how to raise my child. But more often, I think it was because she had completed her child-raising so many years ago that the mists of time had pretty much fogged her vision.

So with my mother’s memory loss, I was left to flomp around on my own, as I was the first among my friends to have a child. Yeah, they thank me now because I was the one that made all the mistakes that they were able to learn from. They totally owe me.

And since buying footwear for infants and toddlers is a much different process than just buying the Louboutins because they look beautiful and elegant, I thought I would try to find a handy-dandy guide to purchasing infant and child shoes. We adults can grin and bear any discomfort because we know we look hot, but infants and toddlers have very specific shoe needs that need to be met. If they aren’t, it can cause problems in their development. Very serious and weighty matters to add to the already serious and weighty matter of having a screeching, twelve-pound dictator on your hands.

I think I found a very good set of guidelines here. There seems to be lots of solid advice for new parents to follow.

Who knew that being clueless and too tired to go out and buy shoes for my infant son actually turned out to be a good move on my part?

As even the battle-hardened noiristes at Defamer say, Angelina Jolie will make you cry. I dare you to watch this and listen to her story and keep your upper lip from quivering, just a bit.

The speech was filmed at the Clinton Global Initiative Conference, and released to publicize the launch of the Clinton Global Initiative website MyCommittment.org.
Now, I must confess that Angelina Jolie has always irritated me. I thought the humanitarian stuff was basically a PR move, like Paris Hilton being appointed a UN ambassador or something. When she started collecting children like they were going out of style, it spoke to me of something inside her that just wanted to out-martyr Mia Farrow.
And, really, girl could eat a sammich.
But the fact is that whatever her motivations, she’s doing good work. She’s getting it accomplished. I’m posting this video and giving Clinton’s project some needed juice because it is Angelina Jolie, and I know people will click on this to see what she has to say. Defamer ran it in the first place because it was Angelina Jolie and not some schlubby middle-aged flyover state chino-wearing librarian. So, in its way, it’s as perfect an example of the power of celebrity being used for good as I can find.
But we can still hate her for what she did to Jen.

These boots for infant/toddler girls are from the ever so understated and subtle Roberto Cavalli:

Now, could they try to cram any more trends into one shoe? From the animal print lining to the metallic leather, this is definitely an over-the-top shoe for that 6 month old who wants everyone to know that she is all about fashion, beeyotches. Never mind that she can’t even read the Roberto Cavalli logo embroidered onto her strap. You can, and that’s all that matters.

The City of Angels has always done things their way, and that includes new innovations in the child care industry. To heck with traditional day care, we’ve got our own combination drug house/daycare!  Why be just a daycare when you could be so much more?

According to the LA Times, a raid conducted on a duplex in a local neighborhood found 14 kilos of cocaine stacked neatly in cubbies lined with teddy bears. Gun racks were being used to dry fingerpaintings and the bags of marijuana were labeled “science project.” The $300,000 in cash was being used for the “math program” and the suspects claimed that having the kids help count the money was teaching them vital number and presidential recognition skills.

All right, maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but they did find all the items listed above in the other half of the duplex.   The only item that shared the same space as the daycare was the cash.

Isn’t that one of every parent’s worst nightmares?  To leave your child in a  daycare setting and then find that something beyond crazy was going on and you had no clue? You are already ceding control of your child to another person, which is difficult enough, but having the cops come in with a warrant and find all of that can’t be the best feeling in the world.

Although if you come across a place called “Candyman Daycare,”  don’t assume the owner is just a little overfond of Sammy Davis Jr.

For the glory of immortal fame…in other words, until the care package from PradaBaby gets here, we compete for honour, not for swag. Your caption suggestions in the comments, plzthxkbai.

 from the Independence Seaport

via Fark

From the classic People feature, we here at Teeny Manolo ask:

Who wears it better?

or,

I was watching television tonight when a commercial came on for this product:

Now, the name of this particular item is the “Smart Cycle.”  It is from Fisher Price, and yet again, I am amazed at what these toy companies must spend on research and development to come up with such innovative product names.  I wonder how many meetings it took to come up with that one.  

Apparently, the purpose of this toy educational tool is twofold.  One, it purports to teach letters and numbers to your 36 month old to 6 year old (whew! that’s quite a span) while they pedal through such idylls as Math Mountain, Shape Lake, Number Fields, and Letter Creek.  So not only can your child learn the difference between circles and squares, they can sweat off those unwanted calories at the same time!

Has the research not already pointed to the fact that video learning such as this does not necessarily make our kids any smarter? That it may in fact be detrimental to their development, as every moment they are parked in front of the television deprives them of true interactive learning?  Now before harried moms start hurling the nearest pacifier at me, every mom has been faced with the choice of popping a DVD in, or not taking a shower.  And the DVD will win almost every time. Those videos can keep kids occupied in order to give us some precious moments of much-needed sanity sans screaming infant.  But relying on them as a primary teaching tool rather than just one of many in your educational arsenal is not the way to go. 

Maybe those ad people at Fisher Price realize the jig might be up, so now they are using the rising numbers of overweight children to guilt parents into spending a hundred bucks into believing that they can give their children the best of both worlds.  A smart mind and a skinny body!  Who could ask for more in one product?  We are a society that places value on the ability to multitask, damnit. Too bad most research has also shown that we adults are basically lousy at multitasking and that the human brain is not really set up to perform multiple tasks at a time and do them well. So let’s set up our kids for failure at an even earlier age!

 Now perhaps I am speaking from the perspective of a mother who has never really had to deal with multiple days of snow and/or rain keeping my family sequestered inside of our home.  Perhaps this would be considered manna from heaven to a parent who has kids in the basement who need to blow off some steam since they have been unable to go outside for an extended period of time.  I’d love to hear the opinions of parents who have encountered this situation, and if you would buy this in the hope of keeping your kids from destroying your house. Or maybe you would rather give them some pillows and let them have at it.

What I do know for a fact is that homeboy up there had better turn around and keep his eyes on the road, or he’s gonna crash! You are never too young to learn the rules of the road, buddy!  Maybe there is some value to this toy, or as Fisher Prices likes to call it, “physical learning arcade system” after all!