The United States has the highest teen birthrate of any developed country.

I’m sorry, but that’s inexcusable.

I’m going to lay a lot of the blame at the feet of the woefully inadequate “abstinence-only” programs that are basically a waste of everyone’s time and money.

Teenagers have sex.

Get used to it.

Give them all the tools they will need, including access to birth control, knowledge of sexually transmitted diseases, and you’ve got a pretty good shot at keeping someone from getting pregnant.

In the article linked to above, a quarter of the teens said that their partner did not want them to use birth control.  Say what?

Teach your kids that if their partner doesn’t want them to use birth control, then that partner isn’t worth being with.

Humans are sexual beings.  That includes teenagers.  That ESPECIALLY includes teenagers.  It’s like nobody ever remembers being a teenager.

What is wrong with people, anyway?

Now, I know I told you I would have the downsides to homeschooling for you today, but then I realized it was Wednesday.

Nobody wants to hear complaints on a Wednesday.

So, I bring to you the tumblr My Parents Were Awesome, and some of the awesomeness contained therein.

Last week I wanted to know if you read tabloid newspapers, and zero of you felt you were addicted.  However, not quite the same when applied to gossip news sites on the internets, where 40% of you often find yourself reading about the newest fight between Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio.  23% of you only read the newspaper version at the checkout line, and 36% of you swear that you never do, even when the annoying lady in front of you is writing a check.

Today, I want your feedback on a post and picture that originally appeared on Consumerist.  It seems the father of the little boy posing with Chuck E. Cheese up there felt that Chuckie was giving his son the finger. He complained to the restaurant, where they insisted that wasn’t the case.  He then took it to Consumerist to “ …stir up some debate and maybe make some other parents more aware for when it comes time to take their kids’ photos with the big mouse.”

I present to you a vintage ad for a laxative that is currently making the rounds:

I’m not kidding when I say that this conversation could well have happened between my husband and me just yesterday.

Boing Boing via Sociological Images

This post is late.  Why? Because when I went to write it last night, there was a tie between Jamie Oliver and Owen Wilson.  And I thought, crap.  There has never been a tie in the history of CDF, if you can believe that.  So I sat there in indecision, and then made the decision that I would just go to bed and hope that someone would vote overnight or in the morning and break it.  Thank you 37th voter!  You put Owen Wilson in the winner’s circle!

Today I’ve got another brand-new papa as challenger (look for another one of those next week!).  He first caught my eye in the Lord of the Rings movies, and somehow, even though he’s handsome, he’s never looked as good to me since.  But I’m sure that’s just my own special brand of quirk.

Let’s see what you think.

VERSUS

58% of you told Tom Ford to shove his fake controversy in his inappropriate Native American headdress. 25% thought heavily made-up six year olds were a tad wrong, but 12% saw nothing wrong with it.  Sigh.  The things they do to sell magazines these days.

Today I want to know what you think about a particular chain restaurant.  A chain restaurant that is known more for the waitresses in tight shirts and short shorts than for the actual food.

The Rock continues to pound his competition, and I continue to use horrible, horrible puns using his name.  I’m sorry, I can’t help myself.  Mr. Johnson managed to win over Jerry O’Connell, but I hope you clicked over to the People story I had linked to last week.  Well worth the few minutes.

Today, and as God as my witness I am so glad it is Friday, I’ve got one smooth operator up as challenger.  He’s best known for his music, and my goodness, the man can certainly sing.  He also has a pretty impressive set of abs.  Just sayin’.

VERSUS

Would one Mr. Christian Bale please report to the Celebrity Dad Faceoff Hall of Fame?  Paging Mr. Christian Bale!

He manged to fight off quite the few competitors to earn himself a cushy retirement in the Hall.  He needs to say hello to Jon Stewart for me.

The ultimate victory brings two brand-new challengers to the game.  Both are British, one a musician in a band that hasn’t had a hit in quite a while. The the other is an actor who starred in one of the most critically acclaimed television shows ever.

And both are mighty pleasant to look at on a Friday.

VERSUS