Teeny Manolo

Any picture by Banksy is worth several hundred thousand words:

That rapier wit, that irresistible malevolence, that roguish smile, the manly tan, the arm/chest pelt, those perfect teeth, those suspiciously buff pecs, the himbo pinup calendar: is it any wonder that Simon Cowell, evil overlord of American Idol, has won the hearts of so many? But there’s one more reason:

The hair.

We at TeenyManolo, as dwellers in the Manolosphere and survivors of the Eighties, are uniquely placed to reveal to the world the secret of Simon Cowell’s mane muse. Where, in a world dominated by variations of the Trent Reznor and the George Clooney does a man get the inspiration for such a vividly gravity-defying, yet carefree and jungle-lush look?

From just one place, my friends:

Yes, it’s the comeback of the hottest look of the Eighties: The Monchhichi. Via toybender.com. Sex-AY! Is it any wonder they’re also the inspiration for a line of condoms?

via WanderingCoyote

Okay, so it’s not Beethoven. You think Beethoven’s Fifth would calm a crying baby? Behold the power of the greatest pacifier known to humanity, the ever-reliable Rickroll. I wonder what would happen if they played Rick Astley in Helmand; the entire region would break into a soporific version of the Hustle, shake hands, and declare peace. You doubt? You watch!

via Defamer.

Ayutthaya, Thailand:
Children enjoy a water fight with elephants during the Thai new year festival
Photograph: Pornchai Kittiwongsakul/AFP/Getty Images

I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking the team on the left must be pretty damn good.

Everything’s funnier from a three year old’s perspective, no?

Via Gawker

May the spark of genius illuminate your captions:

Yet another reminder that chores should be closely supervised:

From the esteemed FAILblog, although it would also work for StuffWhitePeopleLike:

Stuff White People Like examines the issue: Should white children be allowed to drink wine?

Being able to declare “my favorite wine as a child” in a conversation is recognized as more impressive than stories about extended visits to wine regions. In fact, it can only be topped by a story about opening your own vineyard.

 

The truly great stories have always inspired creative reinterpretation and re-telling in a variety of media; the Easter story is no exception.

From paintings by Caravaggio and Bacon to the literal re-enactments that take over the Philippines every year, to the singin’, dancin’ disciples in Godspell, to the current Gitmo-referencing Manchester production, the story of the death of Jesus has been interpreted in virtually every art form known to humanity. Even Blogging!

And now, Lego.

At a reported cost of over ten thousand dollars, this American (well, what else could he be?) minister has recreated not only the life of Jesus, but much of the Bible in Lego.

For Easter we have the Last Supper, the Arrest of Jesus, the Trial, the Crucifixion (what an odd word to know how to spell. I mean, how often do you use it, eh? And yet I bet you know how to spell it?), the Empty Tomb, and the Final Appearance. These are only details, you’ve gotta go to the source for the real deal. Simon Peter has that hot Miami Vice stubble thing going on, as well as some major Austin Powers chest hair. Hawt.

As anyone who’s ever compared different biblical translations can attest (or is that “witness“?) the picture you get from the whole is substantially different from the picture you get from the snippets.

God is indeed in the details, but he’s also the original Big Picture Guy!

The Last Supper

The Arrest of Jesus

The Trial of Jesus

The Crucifixion

The Empty Tomb, OMG OMG OMG!

The Final Appearance

You would not believe the furor this picture has caused on the internets.  I won’t bother linking to any of them, if you’re curious you can simply Google something with Angelina and Cheetos.

The gist of quite a few snarky posts were that ohmigod, Angelina Jolie feeds her kids junk food! Bad mother alert! Bad mother alert!

You know what I say? 

Fabulous!

As long as junk food is eaten in moderation, I don’t see anything wrong with it. And I highly doubt that these kids have Pop Tarts for breakfast, Cheetos for lunch and hot dogs for dinner every day.

Kids like junk food.  Should they be fed junk food at every meal? No.  Should they get junk food every time they want it? No.

But.

If a mom can’t relax and let her kids have some now and then, then it becomes the forbidden food that they want to have all the time.  It’s basic psychology that to deny access to something makes it all the more attractive.  And trust me, they will find a way to get it without you knowing, all the while pretending to crave your special brown rice and broccoli recipe.   I know this from experience.

So the self-proclaimed food police can have their macrobiotic diets and whatnot while the rest of us have a little snack.

Ice cream, anyone?

It’s everyone’s favorite time of week, when we announce the winner of our glam-tastic Friday Caption Contest. Winners receive the coveted TeenyManolo iAward Air, a virtual prize of stunning hypothetical magnificence and staggering imaginary prestige. Behold our image, and our winner:

alejna Says:
March 14th, 2008 at 10:08 pm

Years later, little Joey was traumatized to learn that it wasn’t really a pony that his parents had gotten him for his birthday.

iCongratulations to Alejna! iCongratulations and iSuperfantastic iShoes, the iKickass Ferrovia from Caligarius! I was going to pick something equestrian, but how could anyone look at those shoes and not pick them? EH? I ask you that.