Leave it to the Japanese to make a toilet training device with no sense of shame but an overdeveloped sense of theatre and the bizarre. Stolen from JapanProbe, here is the World Famous Shimajiro Toilet Training video, subtitled in English. Over at JP they have the actual sounds the machine makes as MP3 files as well: if only this little device looked like the Dora the Explorer aquapet, my day would be complete!
Babies and kids are big business. That’s why there are a million different toys and safety items and educational thingamajigs and anything else that you can think of just for them. Products are trumpeted as the latest and greatest, things that you just can’t live without. But is that really true?
Some of these I sort of covet, but wonder if they make life simpler or just that much more complicated. Are the concepts revolutionary, or just a way to get you to spend some money? Are they truly useful, or are they just products that prey on parental insecurities?
Shampoo Rinse Cup- Instead of a regular cup, this one has a soft, flexible edge to keep the water and shampoo out of eyes. Ummm, how about just being really careful? Although if you have a child that screams bloody murder when water gets on their face, it might be worth it. Although you should discount any future competitive swimming career.
Snack Catchers- I can see why people would like these because they are reusable, but they also seem to possibly go a bit overboard. Don’t say the name of this too fast, though, it could come out a bit raunchy.
Babeebrite Hands Free Mobile Light- This is touted for those 3am diaper changes or for checking on your baby in the middle of the night. It could be the best thing ever, or just another gadget that becomes too much trouble when you can just get a soft night light. Nobody expects a 3am diaper change to be perfect, anyway.
Auto Seat Back Protector- Whatever happened to the good old days when parents would just scream at their kids to stop kicking the back of the car seat, or so help them God, they would pull over?
Child Locator- For twenty bucks, this device will enable you to track your child up to 150 feet away and through concrete walls. In one sense, I think parents should obviously keep track of their kids, but for certain events, I could possibly see the usefulness of this.
Juice Pal- Keeps those annoying juice boxes and pouches from being squeezed too tightly by little hands and spurting all over your beige carpet. I can see where this would come in handy, but kids aren’t supposed to drink a lot of juice, so I’m conflicted.
Inflatable Bathtub Liner- You inflate this with a separately sold pump (because with an infant you just have so much extra time for blowing up liners!) and you simply line the tub so that your child won’t hurt his/her self on the sides of the tub. It isn’t designed to keep your child from slipping in the tub, so I don’t quite see the point.
Crustless Sandwich Cutter- All right, I have to admit I’m a fan of the cute little shapes, but is this truly necessary?
DaysAgo Digital Day Counter- I for one remember being extremely sleep deprived in those infant days, but was I so far gone that I needed to stick a digital counter on my food to tell me if it was still any good? And you have to set the thing to boot.
Stroller Safety Flag- Attach this to your stroller, and everyone will see you! How about just being very conscientious when pushing your stroller, whether it be in a crowd or entering an intersection? And don’t they know that people already avoid women with strollers like the plague?
I would love, love, love to know what you all think of these.
We’ve tried to be clear. We’ve tried to be polite. We’ve tried to be firm.
We have warned you.
And yet, some poor, deluded souls out there continue to insist on purchasing vile replicant homunculi modeled after the Grover-crushing, drug-smuggling, twitching, giggling, porn-starring megalomaniac known as Elmo.
What is it going to take before the madness ends, people? What taboos must this loathsome imp shatter in his writhing orgy of unslakeable ravening before you say No. No, it has gone too far.
Death Threat Elmo, perhaps?
A cuddly, programmable Elmo doll revealed its dark side to a Lithia family yesterday after fresh batteries were installed.
Instead of singing songs or reciting the favorite color of its 2-year-old owner James Bowman, the doll started making death threats.
With a squeeze of its fuzzy belly, the Sesame Street character now says, in a sing-song voice, “Kill James.”
Exchange it! you say. Take it back! you say. Reverse the polarity! you say. But no, there is no amount of abuse that the public will not accept as long as it comes wrapped in a fuzzy red package. James loves it. James wants to keep it. James must be a very special child.
…the malfunctioning, death-threat-spouting Elmo Knows Your Name doll is now being kept away from her son, Bowman said.
“This is his absolute favorite toy,” she said. “So we’ve been going through a lot of hassle because he’s trying to climb up the counter and up the closets to get it.”
The family plans to return the doll, but a fat lot of good that will do.
Kid, Elmo doesn’t just Know Your Name, he Knows Where You Live.
We can’t keep the whole blogosphere to ourselves, and we can’t put these topics any better than these guys did, so we are simply handing you a heaping helping of links from around the parentblogosphere and instructing you to enjoy them responsibly. Post in moderation. Wait one half-hour before swimming or operating heavy machinery.
Mini-Me fashion designers from Harper’s Bazaar (Sassybella) Mini Lagerfeld? The corruption of innocence was never so fabulous, darling.
Prepare for the Monday Melee! (Fracas) Your syllabic resonant consonants will never be the same.
Rosette Nebula (Maya’s Granny) My God! It’s full of stars!
Heart-Shaped Nebula (Smoke & Mirrors) What’s at the heart of the universe?
Notes to a Stressed Past Self (Work it, Mom!) Now who do we get to deliver it?
Tadpolecast (Petite Anglaise) The Tadpole sings in tongues.
Are You Kidding Me? (WhiteTrash Mom) St. Mary’s Academy of Stupidity
Back in My Day, a Man Was a Man and a Stroller Was a Stroller (dadsmacker) and we had to tame them ourselves, uphill in the snow
Which Celebrities are Packing a Passenger? (Celebrity Baby Scoop) And Colin Farrell has alibis for all of them
Wheel Chairs for Iraqi Kids (lilSugar) Donations accepted
Lessons from a High School Dropout (Fluttering Butterflies) Some lessons you learn too late
Bra-vo! (Kvetch Blog) Somebody’s girl has a head start on the superfantastic life
This is How New Parents Spend Friday Night (dooce) The human brain goes missing when it comes in close proximity to a chubby baby
or Princess, as the case may be.
Now, it is rare indeed that you will find me flogging clothing for children that is specifically marketed as a “Black Tie Collection,” for rarer indeed than unicorn sightings at a Paris Hilton performance are the occasions on which children are properly invited to attend black tie functions (which of course begin in the evening) and naturally the use of “Black Tie” as a swanky euphemism for “expensive” is horribly infra dig if not actually nouveau riche.
But then, how is Marie-Chantal, Crown Princess Pavlos of Greece to know? Heiress, socialite, It Girl, designer and model Her Highness Marie-Chantal (formerly “Miller”) undoubtably totes her tykes to all manner of state dinners and debutante balls, and I’m sure she’s never met a nouveau in her life, especially since Warhol died before she reached puberty.
As I said, it goes against my stuffy, literal-minded grain to promote such a thing, particularly when the designer is all, like, “Oh, we just called the brand plain old Marie-Chantal” to be all down-homey while featuring a baby wearing a crown as her logo. Plain old Marie-Chantal indeed.
But.
But.
Would you look at these clothes? And, furtherto and forafter, would you look at the prices?
NAT
Lace Collar Shirt
Price: $102.00 Sale $30.60
NELL
Baby Girl Fancy Halter Dress
Price: $125.00 Sale $37.50
So you’d be getting a gorgeous little baby party outfit of heirloom quality for $68.10 instead of the completely-out-of-the-question $227.oo. That is what I’d call a frugal indulgence, and most definitely something to be considered when one simply has to commit an act of Salvation Armani.
For girls sizes 2-12:
God, I want that for myself! Yes, I confess it: I miss Laura Ashley!
NANETTE
Peal Style Cardigan
Price: $141.00 Sale $42.30
NEEMA
Raglan Blouse
Price: $134.00 Sale $40.20
NEW YORK
Reversible Dot Skirt
Price: $154.00 Sale $46.20
And the boys are not forgotten. They are just camouflaged as their grandfathers:
LANCE W07
Cashmere V-Neck Vest
Price: $141.00
NOAH
Boy “Grand-Pa” Shirt
Price: $122.00 Sale $36.60
NEWTON
Boy Dress Trouser
Price: $147.00 Sale $44.10
NORWOOD
Boys Blazer
Price: $218.00 Sale $65.40
One notes, one does, that Plain Old Marie-Chantal knows that good cashmere never needs to get marked down to sell.
She’s such a practical girl at heart.
For some reason, there has been a mini baby boom over the past few years, and no less than five people I know are currently expecting. That’s a lot of babies, which turns into a lot of baby showers to attend. And because I love my friends, I will suck it up and grudgingly gladly play umpteen games of “Baby Bingo” and guessing how many diaper pins are in the jar.
Baby registries are highly popular, but sometimes new mothers don’t know what they need. They think they know what they need, but they really don’t. How do I know? Because I was one of them.
So, that is where Glinda steps in to help to find you the best of the best.
Diaper Dekor Plus Diaper Disposal System
If the mom-to-be is using disposable diapers, this is the way to go. A bit more expensive than the Genie, it is a similar but improved version. As an added bonus, you can operate it with one hand.
Petit Appetit Cookbook: Easy, Organic Recipes to Nurture Your Baby and Toddler
I like this book because it doesn’t stop at recipes for only babies, it continues with meals for toddlers. This greatly increases its versatility, and new moms need all the versatility they can get!
This neoprene holder allows you to strap on two feeding bottles, sippy cups, cans, or whatever onto pretty much anything, anywhere. Also comes in black, pink, and blue.
There are stores that claim to have a sale, and then you go and find the sale price is a mere five bucks off the normal price. Not so Old Navy sales! They tend to have some fairly good price slashing, and I honestly don’t consider it a real sale unless it’s at least 40% off.
Colored, embellished jeans for girls half off! And there are more colors available.
For girls, Metallic Pintuck Tops, also half off. Too cute for spring!
For baby girls in sizes 0-12 months, a lovely keyhole trapeze sweater with pointelle detailing for a little over eight dollars!
For boys, slim pickings as always. Here is the best of what’s left that still has some size availability.
Hi-tech quick-dry soccer tee for a little over seven dollars.
Boys side-striped athletic pants, at the right price of $7.25. Great size availability, also in grey.
Perhaps they are not the cutest pajamas ever, but they are 100% cotton and have a fabulous size availability from 3 months up to 5T. And hey, high fashion is tough to get for five bucks.
Happy shopping, if you’ve got any money left over from the holidays, that is!
It’s true. The new DVD release of that golden classic of the airwaves (cablewaves, whatever, I’m old, yo) has been held up, smacked on the bottom, and slapped with an R rating, just like the Mickey Rourke in lust (and in Kim Basinger) BDSM flick 9 1/2 weeks.
Well, it’s easy to see why.
Gaze, if you will, upon the singled-out-as-kid-corrupting footage of Alistair Cookie’s Monsterpiece Theatre production of “The 39 Stairs.” Note, if you will, that Alastair holds between his toothless gums a …
pipe.
In the original, shocking footage, Alistair Cookie not only holds the pipe in his mouth, but chews and swallows it in an orgiastic, addiction-fueled frenzy of obscene enthusiasm. Clearly, children who witness this will be scarred for life, unable to discern the difference between food and drug paraphernalia.
According to Parente, “That modeled the wrong behavior” — smoking, eating pipes — “so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether.”
Actually, I saw that in the original form and look how I turned out!
Oh, wait…
(Looking for the TeenyManolo Sweepstakes? Go here)
Prizes! Fame! Glory! Stuff!
Don’t you love contests that have all of the above? Well, we’ve got one for you! Copy and paste, forward and gossip with abandon!
The newest members of Manolo the Shoeblogger’s vast internet empire, we launched TeenyManolo in late September, and wouldn’t you know, we are only now getting around to introducing ourselves. Ah, they grow so fast, don’t they? Where does the time go?
As the proud parents, we naturally think that TeenyManolo rocks the Parentblogosphere, and we’re certainly not above offering some good old-fashioned bribery a superfantastic contest to get the word out! We are thrilled to announce the TeenyManolo Sweepstakes, an international contest for Amazon Gift Certificates, two for $50US and one grand prize of $150US to three lucky readers. The contest begins on November 23 and ends at 12AM Pacific Time on December 7, 2007. Entering is simple and free! There are two steps:
1. Link to TeenyManolo in a blog post, whether or not it’s one about the contest.
2. Just come and leave a comment that you’ve linked to us.
And that’s it! A bargain, we think. And really, we are all about the bargains around here.
In related news, we’re also building our blogroll. As dedicated Manolites, we will blogroll you if you blogroll us, because we think that mutual admiration is a lovely thing. Just email theglinda AT gmail DOT com or raincoaster AT gmail DOT com and let us know!
When I was Violet Affleck’s age, I had to play with nickles! Three miles, uphill, in the snow!
