Courtesy of Levi’s.

Yeah, because a sweatshirt with a fake denim jacket screened on the front of it is SO COOL!  Because everyone knows that denim in the front and sweatshirt material on the back is the new mullet!

Listen, they make ACTUAL denim everything for toddlers, so I suggest simply going that route if you are really into that type of thing.

And Jesus Christ on a stick, they want almost thirty bucks for this crap?

Just say no, ladies, just say no to the newest version of the mullet.

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Dear Daughter,

I bought you an outfit that I thought would look cute.

It was a three piece Calvin Klein, with jeans, a shirt, and a soft, furry vest.

I squealed upon seeing the furry vest, as it seems I have a weakness for children wearing fuzzy things.  Your grandmother had bought you a different outfit with a similar vest, and people could not get enough of you in it.

So the other night when we went to the baseball game, I thought the weather was perfect for your CK ensemble, as you’d never worn it before.  It was the perfect combination of semi-warm but not too warm, and I lovingly tucked your jeans into your adorable furry little boots that matched your vest perfectly.

I thought nothing of your outfit until I saw you walking with your dad about twenty feet away from me.  That distance gave me an entirely new perspective.

Your jeans had detailing on the back pockets I hadn’t noticed before, which made me uncomfortable. And they definitely qualified as “skinny” jeans. The vest looked chic, but a little too grownup for an 18 month old.  And the worst was your boots, which looked more like Uggs than anything else.  Good lord, they weren’t supposed to look like Uggs! How did I not see the resemblance? 

And Calvin Klein? What the hell was I thinking?  They are the ones who famously stood between a teen Brooke Shields and er, nothing. 

I solemnly promise on my Complete Works of Shakespeare never to dress you like a college sorority girl again.

Until maybe you are one, but that’s at least a good eighteen years away.

Love,

Mom

I don’t like tutus.

There, I said it.

I’m waiting for an entire contingent of well-heeled moms to come after me.

I don’t know about your area, but in my neck of the woods, tutu-mania is in full force.

The thing is, I don’t know why.

If you are enrolled in a ballet class, then sure, wear a tutu.  But am I wrong in thinking that even in ballet classes, they don’t really wear tutus until they actually perform in front of an audience? Right? I’ve actually never taken a ballet class, so maybe someone can enlighten me there.  With the current tutu craze, that could be changing, though.  Instead of being the provenance of dancers, they are now being co-opted by the toddler and even the not-yet-even-walking set.  All around me there are young girls in tutus, and they are miles away from being in any ballet-related activities. I see them at the doctor’s office, the grocery store, waiting to pick up their siblings at school, and all other manner of places where the last thing one would think of putting on was a frilly skirt with tights.

I have so far firmly resisted buying my daughter a tutu.

She isn’t in a dance class, so I see absolutely no need for one. 

However, I seem to be in the minority as tutus are becoming regular day attire instead of something you had to work hard to earn the right to wear.  Tutus are so hyper-feminine, and while I have no issue with femininity or looking feminine, for some reason they make me a little uncomfortable.  I suppose I think a tutu should be something worn for dress-up, and not out on errands.  And yes, I am one of those stick-in-the-mud moms who think that dress-up stays at home. 

My sister has threatened to buy my daughter one, as she thinks the Munchkinette would get a kick out of twirling around in it.

Call me an anti-tutu-ite, but I’m hoping the current tutu phase will blow over by the time my daughter can ask me for one.

A super-hero cape, though? I’m all for it.

Now that I have a daughter, I find it hard to say that I enjoy shopping for her.  I feel it is disloyal to my son to say that, but there are just so many more things for girls than for boys.  It’s unfair, but until I figure out how to design my own clothing line for boys, that’s the way it is.

I recently found Luna Luna Copenhagen, which makes beautiful, simple clothes for girls.  I like them because they do not have all the poufs and froufs (a totally made-up term) that so many girls’ things have.  My daughter is not a poufs and froufs kinda gal.  Are these clothes on the expensive side? Yes.  But I still love them.  These clothes are from their Holiday 2010 and Fall 2010 collections, but they’ve got lots more. 

So gorgeous!

This is practically perfect.

Simple and lovely.

Want!

Why was there nothing this awesome when I was growing up?  Eh, my mom probably never would have bought it for me anyway.

*I received no pay or other type of compensation for this review.

While I love my son dearly, there are times when he drives me especially cray-cray. All children have that special talent, don’t they?

When he was an infant, I would put a heavy blanket sleeper on him (because hello, it was winter and it was cold!) he would fuss and not sleep well. It wasn’t until I made the switch to 100% cotton at all times that he began sleeping better and fussing less. It was so worth the extra money spent on heating bills.

Then when he became a toddler, he would refuse to wear certain types of clothing, especially jeans or anything with heavy stitching and pockets.  Pockets drove him nuts.  Yeah, you try finding pants for boys without pockets.  It’s a hell of a lot harder than it sounds.  Finally we got to a place where he could tolerate some types of pockets, but I know to avoid certain kinds.

Tags also became a special nemesis, and I would automatically begin snipping them off as soon as the article of clothing was approved for wear by my young tyrant.  And to this day, I will not take off the tags of anything unless I’ve had him try it on first.  It makes for special times, to be sure.  There is nothing like your son taking off a perfectly good pair of shorts and refusing to wear them because they “bug” him.   Thank goodness the clothing industry has started forgoing tags and printing the care information on the shirt itself.

We have a neighbor across the street who is giving us the clothing her son (who is three years older than the Munchkin) has outgrown, and I have unfortunately had to pass more than half of it along to my sister in law, as the clothing does not meet the Munchkin stress test.  We were given a beautiful Quiksilver sweater that happens to have the word “Quiksilver” embroidered across the front.  I should have known better, and I tried to make my son wear the dang thing, but it only ended up with me yelling at him and him stomping off to find something else that was not embroidered and of course, not as nice.  Phooey.  Well, at least my nephews will get to wear it.

And socks?  They must be worn inside out.  No exceptions.  He cannot stand the seam along the toes.  And again, try finding socks without seams that don’t cost a small fortune.  If a quick fix like turning them inside out works, I’ve saved mucho dinero.

Have I been very accommodating?  Actually, not really.  Sometimes I forget about his issues, or I just get frustrated that he will not wear perfectly good clothing for what seems to me a poor reason. After I took the quizzes here, I realized he probably has a low level hypersensitivity to touch disorder. Although as he has gotten older, he’s gotten a bit better.

And don’t even get me started on his hypersensitivity to sound.

I just keep telling myself that in a few years, he can probably start sewing his own damn clothes.  Or weaving them on a loom, or something. 

I pity his future wife.

This is my life in four words.

*Given to me by my prescient sister.

In their infnite wisdom, Italian design house Gucci has decided to introduce their first clothing lines for children in the spring of 2011. Because nothing celebrates a double-dip recession like a Gucci-logoed bib!

To be honest, I have a “thing” about paying to have my children be walking advertisements for clothing companies.  In short, I try really hard not to.  Although I have to say as the Munchkin is getting older, that is getting harder.  But those wanna-be Vans? No way.   I cannot see any boy over the age of 5 wearing those without some sort of bribe being involved.  And the muti-colored belts? Really?  Those look exactly like the ones that come free with off-brand cargo shorts. 

But, if this preview is the best that Gucci has, you’ll have to excuse me.  Because I can’t stop yawning.

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