Voice of GenX (sorry, Douglas Coupland) McSweeney’s genius and 826Valencia founder Dave Eggers talks (for nearly half an hour) about engaging with the public school system. Lengthy, but worthwhile.
Somehow, it just seemed topical. For some reason.
Ah, teachers. Who’d be one? Like nursing, it’s a career path of critical importance to society, yet vastly undervalued both in public prestige and in the critical area of renumeration. That’s how you spell it, right? “Renumeration.”
What can I say? I was homeschooled as a toddler. Then public schools. Then hippie boarding school where they told my mother “Raincoaster doesn’t come to class. She sits in the hall and reads books. But they are very good books, so we’re giving her an A.” So there’s lots of blame to go around.
In any case, I’d like to share with you the case of United States District Judge Samuel B. Kent, a man who obviously paid attention in school. It should warm the very cockles of any underappreciated teacher’s neglected heart to know that out there, somewhere, perhaps in the back of class, perhaps hidden behind that big Samoan kid in the third row, there may be a Samuel B. Kent of her own, a student who not only listened in class, but who learned, and that profoundly.
Watch the master at work (via Metroblog):
Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact — complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words — to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions.
With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor’s edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins…
And concludes:
At this juncture, Plaintiff retains, albeit seemingly to his befuddlement and/or consternation, a maritime law cause of action versus his alleged Jones Act employer, Defendant Unity Marine Corporation, Inc. However, it is well known around these parts that Unity Marine’s lawyer is equally likable and has been writing crisply in ink since the second grade. Some old-timers even spin yarns of an ability to type. The Court cannot speak to the veracity of such loose talk, but out of caution, the Court suggests that Plaintiff’s lovable counsel had best upgrade to a nice shiny No. 2 pencil or at least sharpen what’s left of the stubs of his crayons for what remains of this heart-stopping, spine-tingling action.
In either case, the Court cautions Plaintiff’s counsel not to run with a sharpened writing utensil in hand — he could put his eye out.
IT IS SO ORDERED.
Last week’s poll showed almost half of respondents wishing the media would leave the children of celebrities alone, already. Another 22% felt badly about the overexposure, but couldn’t help being interested.
Let’s face it, for whatever reason, our culture right now is one of celebrity. Even though these children are put in the public eye through no fault of their own, as long as we place so much value on what “stars” are doing, they will continue to be watched.
But, let’s take an entirely different direction with today’s poll, shall we?
LolCats meet LolKids: a memetic union for the ages!
Also, this is probably the best place to note that it was just the repressed Englishmen that insisted on the short pants for their boys. The Scots, presumably, realized they’d all have expired of hypothermia if they’d been jammed into hot pants in that climate.
School started for my son on Sept. 4, and as of today, I think he has spent almost as much time at home as he has in class. He keeps getting sick, and since he complains that he doesn’t like school, I keep having to play an annoying guessing game as to whether he is truly ill or just feels like playing with his pirate ship for the day instead of participating in circle time.
That has got to be one of the trickier things I’ve yet to stumble across as a parent, trying to figure out if your child is really sick or if they simply don’t feel like going to school.
My mother had a very strict policy about staying home from school. Unless you had a very high fever (over 100) or were actively (emphasis on actively) throwing up, your butt was going to be hauled off to school. And sometimes even then, your odds were fifty-fifty. I was a student who normally loved school, so you would have thought she could have cut me a little slack when said I wasn’t feeling well. Being a nurse, my mother showed no mercy whatsoever, seeing as how she saw truly sick people every darn day young lady, and a kid with the sniffles didn’t qualify as sick in her book.
I was never sly enough to pull any tricks a la Ferris Bueller, so my attendance record was practically flawless. But the valuable advice I got from that movie will stay with me forever as a parent. Trust me, I am always going to walk into the room instead of hovering at the doorway. Mark my words.
As my son is still in pre-K, I tend to be a lot more lenient than my mother ever was. All right, so he will miss out on some painting and reading and social interaction, but there is no letter grade to earn or points to be missed, so for me it is not a big deal. I figure if he was going to fake being sick, as a five year old, it wouldn’t be comprised of such a detailed plan. It takes a lot of forethought to wake yourself up in the wee hours of the morning to scream that you need a Kleenex. And a cough drop. And some water…
I have a sneaking suspicion that he is having a hard time adjusting to the new schedule, but then you walk that fine line where they get sicker if you push them. And really, I’d rather have a few hours to myself than listening to him sing “A Pirate’s Life for Me” one more time. I’m selfish that way, I know. I did that on Friday, and have since been rewarded for my self-centeredness by having a hacking, snotty child less than ten feet away from me at any given moment.
I am very aware that attendance in school is an important part of success.
But I still have this feeling that my son is going to stay home a lot more than I ever did.
And maybe, just maybe, there will be a few days when we wake up and I suggest, “Why don’t we go somewhere fun today?”
Does that make me a bad mom? Or just a mom who will never have to worry about her son being chased through backyards by a deranged principal? See, I’ll be doing him a favor.
The City of Angels has always done things their way, and that includes new innovations in the child care industry. To heck with traditional day care, we’ve got our own combination drug house/daycare! Why be just a daycare when you could be so much more?
According to the LA Times, a raid conducted on a duplex in a local neighborhood found 14 kilos of cocaine stacked neatly in cubbies lined with teddy bears. Gun racks were being used to dry fingerpaintings and the bags of marijuana were labeled “science project.” The $300,000 in cash was being used for the “math program” and the suspects claimed that having the kids help count the money was teaching them vital number and presidential recognition skills.
All right, maybe I am exaggerating a bit, but they did find all the items listed above in the other half of the duplex. The only item that shared the same space as the daycare was the cash.
Isn’t that one of every parent’s worst nightmares? To leave your child in a daycare setting and then find that something beyond crazy was going on and you had no clue? You are already ceding control of your child to another person, which is difficult enough, but having the cops come in with a warrant and find all of that can’t be the best feeling in the world.
Although if you come across a place called “Candyman Daycare,” don’t assume the owner is just a little overfond of Sammy Davis Jr.
Those tricksy Canucks! Trust them to start a polite, nonviolent, globally accessible, wordless, self-esteem-building uprising.
The Pink Shirt Movement.
Forget the wearin’ of the green, the wearing of the pink is what it’s all about here at the dawn of the 21st Century.
Let’s go to our stringers at the Halifax Chronicle Herald:
Two students at Central Kings Rural High School fought back against bullying recently, unleashing a sea of pink after a new student was harassed and threatened when he showed up wearing a pink shirt.
The Grade 9 student arrived for the first day of school last Wednesday and was set upon by a group of six to 10 older students who mocked him, called him a homosexual for wearing pink and threatened to beat him up.
The next day, Grade 12 students David Shepherd and Travis Price decided something had to be done about bullying.
“It’s my last year. I’ve stood around too long and I wanted to do something,” said David.
They used the Internet to encourage people to wear pink and bought 75 pink tank tops for male students to wear. They handed out the shirts in the lobby before class last Friday — even the bullied student had one.
“I made sure there was a shirt for him,” David said.
They also brought a pink basketball to school as well as pink material for headbands and arm bands. David and Travis figure about half the school’s 830 students wore pink.
It was hard to miss the mass of students in pink milling about in the lobby, especially for the group that had harassed the new Grade 9 student.
“The bullies got angry,” said Travis. “One guy was throwing chairs (in the cafeteria). We’re glad we got the response we wanted.”
Given that Canada still has a Queen, is it too early to start a public movement for the knighting of these two lads? This is an idea whose time has come.
While Travis and David appreciate the recognition, “we don’t want to move the focus from the situation onto us,” said David, who is leaning toward joining the RCMP after high school.
“People say, ‘You’re celebrities, you’ll go down in the history books of the school,’ but that’s not what we set out to do.”
“People say you’re famous, heroes or celebrities,” added Travis, who plans to take criminology next year. “We’re not, we’re just two kids who stood up for a cause.”
Here’s just what your munchkin needs to join the Think Pink movement, my friends! For some peculiar reason, I couldn’t find any catalog shots of bigger boys in pink shirts, but I have a feeling that’s about to change.
Now, how can I call myself part of the Manolo family and not recommend some shoes? And lo, Awesome Mom, I have found some shoes for boys that I like!
It was tough, let me tell you. When Amazon tells you that there are 6,734 items to look through under boys shoes, they ain’t kidding. I laughed, I cried, I threw the keyboard on the floor in frustration, but finally I found things I would buy for my own son.
I tend to prefer a type of shoe that is a bit of a multi-tasker. That way, perhaps I don’t have to buy quite so many, you know? Shoes that fall somewhere in between a sneaker and a loafer work well, and luckily for me, you, us there are tons of them out there.
But first, how could I resist this “Fun Dog” Rain Boot? Does it not have frivolity and cuteness wrapped up in a functional package? Never mind that where I live, we have been in a drought for about four years. I love these boots. I want a pair for myself
Next up, shoes that are admittedly a bit expensive. However, they look as if they can be worn as easily with windpants and a tee, or jeans and a collared shirt.
And lastly, shoes that are on sale! I admit though, five bucks off isn’t whole lot. But, they are eligible to ship for free! Again, the multi-tasking rules apply to this shoe. I could see this on the playground as well as strolling through the mall.
Now, maybe next time I will be brave and do dress shoes! Or maybe shoes that are black, but I have a thing about black shoes that is perhaps a post for another time.
So you can take this guy’s job away from him:
Welcome to the Kalamazoo Shcool District. That’s one helluva accent they got down there!
