According to the results of last week’s poll, a full forty-six percent of you were never asked by your parents to go back to your room and change that outfit, missy. I applaud you on your tasteful clothing choices throughout your youth. A devious thirty-three percent, though, were ordered to change, did so, and then snuck the clothes in your bag and managed to change back into them at a friend’s house or a bathroom somewhere. I applaud you for your, er, ingenuity. Seventeen percent were ordered to change and did so, I applaud you on your obedience, no matter how many things you uttered under your breath. Only two percent had the cojones to ignore your parents’ directive, and I applaud you for somehow not getting grounded for life.
Today’s poll is about a man who, last week, placed an ad on craigslist to “sell” his two sons, claiming they could be used as “child slaves or footstools.” He says it was all a big joke, and included that fact at the bottom of the ad. He was arrested for filing a false report, which seems to me the police didn’t have a whole lot to go on and were annoyed at him and wanted to arrest him for something.