Teeny Manolo

You’re all just too nice. Or maybe you retain a fondness for our subject from all that unresolved sexual tension back when Diane shared a desk with that sexy biatch Sam Donaldson. But you didn’t really go for the jugular with last week’s Friday Caption Contest and for that we can only say: you are better people than we are. All our personalities agree.

Among the entries, only one can take the crown (pictoral evidence aside) and so it is time to choose:

Meg Says:
August 24th, 2008 at 12:08 pm

Thirty plus years trying to be a serious journalist and this is my reward? Screw it, I’m heading for the bahamas.

As predicted by qc, Meg indeed wins. And what does she win for so convincingly getting inside the mind of former beauty queen but also highly-experienced, award winning journalist Diane Sawyer? How about this sassy, sexy, leather-trimmed newsboy cap from Nordstrom:

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! Looks like the terrifying twosome scared off most entrants, but two brave souls stepped up and from them one commenter has been chosen as the winner of the prestigious Last Week’s Caption Contest!

Jennie Says:
August 16th, 2008 at 10:45 am

OK son, lets try that again…One, Two, Three…

Dressed up like a million-dollar trooper
Tryin’ hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)
If you’re blue and you don’t know
where to go to why don’t you go
where fashion sits
Puttin’ on the Ritz

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Jennie! And what Darth-tastic, space-age swag it is, too: Cloche Vader!

What time is it? Overshare time, my friends! It’s time the ol’ raincoaster dished the dirt on her beloved Mom; and why? you ask, or perhaps you don’t but just play along, willya?

Because of this bracelet from tefsjewels on Etsy, passed along by a sharp-eyed and practical reader:

It’s designed with a charm which you move every time you nurse, so that you always know when the next feeding is due, even if the baby has been squalling like a flock of seagulls for the past ten hours straight and you’re trying to get by on two and one-half minutes sleep, a situation not unknown in households which have recently welcomed the pitter-patter of little feet. Why two of those feet never belong to a butler is one of life’s little injustices, but that’s as may be.

Should you breastfeed you can, of course, switch it from wrist to wrist. It’s flexy like that.

But what does this have to do with raincoaster’s mom? I can hear you ask or maybe not, but humour me, okay? You’ve come this far.

My mother, you see, was as absent-minded as she was over-cautious, and so as a baby I enjoyed approximately as many feedings as the entire livestock of the local zoo. If my mother had been possessed of such a piece of personal bling, I might have started life with a keener understanding of portion sizes and an easier time of it, when I finally decided to heave myself into an upright position and attempt a waddle.

Which I am sure I did only because the kitchen wasn’t going to come when I called it.

Well, the weekend has come and gone, the placenta is buried, the comments have accumulated, and it’s time to announce the winner of the Friday Caption Contest.

gemdiva Says:
August 8th, 2008 at 9:33 pm

Taking only what they could carry, The McConaughey clan set out in search of a better life and a gas station with clean bathrooms and a baby changing table.

And what virtual swag shall we hypothetically present to our champion? Obviously nothing other than the MARC BY MARC JACOBS ‘Dr. Q - Lil Riz’ Pleated Hobo bag. If she’s rolling with this packmule posse, she’ll need both hands free.

As I mentioned before, Stila was ever so generous with me, and even though I am giving away a ton of makeup, I also got to keep some for myself!

You may or may not know that I love lipstick.  Actually, I have a confession to make. I am a complete lipstick whore.  At this moment, I have approximately twenty liptsicks.  And it isn’t enough.  I will never have enough, I tell you!

Ahem… Back to the review.

When I saw the High Shine Lip Color, I knew I had to try it.  The packaging (as always) is so pretty, with little vines and leaves etched onto the inner tube. 

The lipstick itself goes on fairly lightly, it isn’t greasy or heavy.  Stila describes it as buttery, and I would have to agree. And I have to point out that there is a large difference between “shiny” and “glittery” and this has a lot of shine with not a lot of glitter.  Which is fine with me, because my days of nightclubbing are a thing of the past.  It wears well, and it has now become my favorite everyday lip color.

If you think you might want one for yourself, go and enter the Super Fantastic Stila Giveaway, for the High Shine Lip Color is just one of the many goodies in the first prize package. 

It’s time to announce the funniest caption for little Darthleen Vader here. It was a crowded, talented field, but there can be only one.

Oops, wrong speculative fiction franchise!

K. B. Says:
August 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm

Darth Barbie, Star Wars less-popular evil villain was best known for her awesome ability to accessorize.

Yes, newcomer K.B. takes the hypothetical i-trophy. Now, what shall we virtually present her to wear to the imaginary ceremony?

The superfantastic futuristic Giuseppe Zanotti Mirror Argento!

toothpastefordinner.com

People will start saying you don’t love your baby when they see him pathetically gumming an Arrowroot cracker. Remember when Britney was looking into getting her baby’s teeth bleached…only the baby didn’t have any teeth yet? That’s the market for these things.

The wonderful folks at Stila were kind enough to send me an impressively large package filled with goodies. Now, I thought for a minute of leaving the country, changing my name, and being forever happy with my fabulous stash.

But then guilt got the better of me, and I decided to play nice and share.

The sacrifices I make for you. Really.

I have two prize packages worth over $100 apiece, and a Grand Prize worth over $150 in glorious Stila products to make you look even prettier than you already are.

Today I am giving away the first prize package, which includes such lovelies as: Eye Shadow Trio, Lip Glaze, Lip Glaze Stick, High Shine Lip Color, Eye Shadow Duo, and a Smoky Eye Palette.

Seriously, are you not just delirious at the thought of all that?

Here are the rules:
1. Enter the contest by commenting on this post.
2. Contest open only to Canadian and United States residents.
3. Contest deadline is midnight (Pacific) August 15, 2008.
4. Only one entry per person. Duplicate entries will be deleted.

The winner will be chosen by a random number generator, but it never hurts to compliment people shoving free things at you.

Good luck!

Ahhh, some of my fondest memories of camp were the new friends forged over endless games of “telephone” and dodgeball.  To cement the relationship, a custom-made friendship bracelet was just the ticket.  My friend would have me pick out the colors, and in a couple of days, I was the proud owner of a cute piece of jewelry that I would wear until it wore off.  Or, until the friend made me mad and I cut it off with a pair of scissors.  Whichever came first.

The Los Angeles Times is claiming that friendship bracelets are no longer the domain of pre-teens mooning over their favorite singer on the cover of Tiger Beat.  In fact, J. Crew will be featuring a $150 version in their upcoming catalogue.

Along with countless games and accoutrements that previously belonged to only young people, adults have now seen fit to horn in on friendship bracelets, too.  They are making them with semi-precious stones woven into the braid, or using expensive,fancy clasps.

Is there nothing that children can have that is their own anymore?

Are we adults so nostalgic, or so desperately seeking an infusion of youth, that we cannot leave anything in the past?

Nex thing you know, metal braces with colored rubber bands will be the next big thing among the forty year old set.  

Makeup should be fun.

It should look good, make me feel good, and as a bonus, smell good.

These lip balms by on10 do just that.  Playing with a retro vibe and using high quality natural and organic ingredients, they will provide much olfactory pleasure, and they also have a pleasant taste.  I have the Hershey’s Almond, which I bought because almond is actually one of my all-time favorite scents, but it fell out of favor with makeup/perfume manufacturers for quite a while.   And now I get to smell it every time I slather it on my lips, so that can only be a good thing.

These balms are not heavy or greasy, but go on lightly, at least for a balm.  With scents inspired by Schweppe’s and Hershey’s, how much more fun could you possibly have?

on10 Schweppes Lip Balm Ultra-Moisturizing Trio SPF 15 This trio of retro tins contains Schweppes Pink Grapefruit Seltzer, Tonic Water, and Lime soda flavors.

on10 Hershey’s Lip Balm Ultra-Moisturizing Trio SPF 15 Includes three cute tins of Hershey’s Vanilla Creme, Milk Chocolate, and Almond flavors.