I can’t even rely on my nine year old to find a pair of socks in his sock drawer, much less keep an eye out to protect my multimillion dollar illegal operation.

I can’t remember if I was at the doctor’s office filling out my daughter’s two year checkup questionnaire or if I was reading something on the internet, but whatever it was, it indicated that time-outs were not appropriate for toddlers.

Say what?

Honestly, if I didn’t use a time out for my daughter, she would probably have hurt herself doing something she wasn’t supposed to do.  Simply telling her does not cut it, and I refuse to hit.  She is an envelope pusher (please, may that trait serve her well later in life) and if I don’t have SOMETHING to resort to as a punishment, my life would be more of a living hell than it already is.

Because even the time out doesn’t always work, and once I threaten one, I am extremely consistent about following up.  I give her warnings and don’t jump straight to the time out, but in cases like the one where she tries to climb up our entertainment center to touch the television, they are used immediately.   I only use time outs when she is going to hurt herself in some way or has hurt someone else in some way, such as the time when she was very into punching her brother in the private area.  Sorry, not going to be tolerated and I don’t see any other recourse.  I take her physically away from whatever is going on, sit her with me, and tell her why she has to sit with me.  I don’t keep her that long, but I think my message comes across.

I didn’t have to use time outs for the Munchkin until much later in his life, definitely after three.  He was a completely different type of child, so much that it makes my head spin to think about it.  But like all kids, he has his own special brand of misbehaving.

Oddly enough, I remember that the article didn’t really have any other options for discipline other than distraction.  Let me tell you, once they get to a certain age, distraction doesn’t work.

Unless of course, the distraction is a time out.

First of all, make sure you’ve got one. This is a pretty handy checklist for those that aren’t sure.

The Munchkin is not 100% introverted, and there are actually probably very few who could be described that way.  But he falls just on the majority side of introverted, and that’s good enough for me.

First of all, know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being an introvert, even as our society rather absurdly celebrates the extroverted, who apparently are always ready to flip over tables and dance drunkenly on camera.

I try to keep his introvert tendencies in mind when we go places and not force him to do things he doesn’t want to do.  But, that doesn’t mean I will allow him to never have to address or speak to people, which I think is an important life skill.  Well, to do it politely and efficiently, anyway.

So a while ago when he wanted to purchase something with his own money, I made him go to the cash register and pay for it himself.  He freaked out.  I informed him that the people working at the store were nice people who were not going to bite his head off, in fact, quite the opposite.  He continued to freak.  We struck a bargain where I stood beside him the entire time, but he was the main contact with the employee.

It worked well, and since then he has somewhat overcome his fear of cash registers, and has no issues with paying for things by himself.

Wait until he learns I want him to join Toastmasters.

I would classify myself as someone who used to be more introverted, but somehow became extroverted.  First my Dad helped me out of my shell when I was young and too terrified to speak to adults I didn’t know well, and then my husband (a bona fide extrovert) pushed me over the edge into extrovert territory.  Or at least someone who is able to fool people into thinking I’m an extrovert. Pretty soon I was talking to anybody and everybody, and soon found myself able to easily conduct employee trainings for large groups of people with aplomb.

So I know the path my son walks, and I’m here to help guide him through it.  I don’t expect him to be an extrovert any time soon, but if I can get him to the point where he doesn’t freeze at the thought of talking to strangers (i.e. employees in a store) and can carry on a brief but interesting conversation with almost anybody, then I will consider my job to be done.

If he grows up and would rather stay home and read rather than go out clubbing, then I might just thank my lucky stars.

Make no mistake about it, I was a pretty stupid, selfish teenager. It was all about ME and what I wanted and the judgements came swiftly and without a lot of thought.

I’d like to think I’ve improved greatly from that time in my life, heck, it might have even lasted into my early twenties.

But I don’t think I was ever as stupid as this:

Great. Now I’m all depressed.

via

I often bring my son along because he enjoys going, and also because he is forever optimistically thinking I will buy him a cookie or an Icee or something from the food counter.

Him: I need some new toothpaste.
Me: Ok, go pick whichever one you want.
Him: (putting a tube in cart) Ok, I’m taking this one.
Him: No, wait a minute… (goes back to shelf)
Him: I don’t care if it has Disney Princesses on it, I want the Bubblegum flavor.

Now, should I be proud that my nine year old doesn’t care if his toothpaste has the decidedly uncool (for him) Princesses on it, or that in order to get the Bubblegum flavor, you have to get the Princesses?

Me: We need a hand soap refill, choose one for us. I’ll let you decide which scent you like best.
Him: (coming back to cart in record amount of time) Got it.
Me: Oh, what scent did you choose?
Him: I dunno what scent it was, I just picked the pink one. Things that are pink almost always smell good.

Now, should I be concerned about his generalizations about the color pink, or that the scent he actually chose was pink  grapefruit, and was the nastiest, most godawful-smelling soap I have ever used in my life?

And does anybody blame me for not taking him to Target with me last night?

My son’s complete lack of ability to “find” anything. “Please get me the pillows your dad got from the store, they are on the chair in the garage.” “What? There are no pillows in the garage, I looked!” “Dude, they are RIGHT in FRONT of your nose!” “Moo-oom, I can’t find the pillows.” Commence hair being forcibly pulled from my skull.

My daughter’s ability to completely destroy books with a special manuever I like to call the “back bend.” Before I can do anything about it, she will grasp the middle of the book, and force it back to meet the front cover. This is not pretty, and it pains me every time she does it.

Also, the fact that even though she has had a diaper on her body pretty much 24/7 since her birth, she still fights diaper changes. Don’t give me any tips, I’ve tried them all.

My son whose picture should be in the dictionary under the caption “unimpressed.”

And, the fact that he will repeat what I just said, but have one or two of the words wrong, making what I said sound very, very stupid. I hate that.

My daughter who STILL throws food she doesn’t want on the floor.

My son’s extreme reluctance to try anything new.

The brain-splitting decibel levels my kids reach when they are playing together. OK, yeah, I’m glad you’re having a great time, but does it have to be as loud as a plane taking off?

Don’t get me wrong, I love my children dearly, but today was definitely a venting kind of day. Feel fee to vent yourself!