Some quotes from one of my favorite moms, Erma Bombeck…
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
There’s something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she’s only measured water in it.
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he’s doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, “A house guest,” you’re wrong because I have just described my kids.
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
Two completely suprising (to me, anyway) fruits nabbed the top spots, with raspberries(!) coming in at number two and mangoes(!) coming in at number one. Seriously, I never saw those coming. I’ve got nothing against either one, especially in margarita form, but had no idea they were so popular in general. Bananas came in third, and we had quite the few duking it out in a fourth place tie, including tomatoes, pears, avocadoes, and strawberries. My personal favorite are tomatoes. I love them in almost anything, except obviously something dessert-y.
Today I’m completely celeb-centric.
You may have already heard about the Alicia Silverstone video where she chews some food for her young son Bear and feeds it to him via her mouth as a bird would to their young.
Talk about dedicated parenting.
All you lazy moms out there who selfishly watch as your kids chew their own food, you’ve been shown up something good!
I’ve made peace with the fact that I’m never going to rise to any Doocian levels of fame.
I just toil quietly here in my little corner of the blogosphere, riding the coattails of the boss, and simply hoping to brighten someone’s day, somewhere.
But then I found out that Kourtney Kardashian has a mommy blog.
Granted it’s a video blog, but it launched only a few days ago and already almost 3,000 people have fanned it on Facebook.
I’m not bitter or anything.
But I think I’ll retreat into the kitchen and drown myself in some spiked eggnog now.
No, not because her infant’s sunglasses probably cost more than my own.
It’s because she was able to actually PUT sunglasses on her offspring without him instantaneously trying to fling them off. Putting sunglasses on my toddlers is (or was, in the case of the Munchkin) like trying to put a bandanna on a cat. Nice in theory, but horrible in practice. The clawing and yowling effects caused by said accessories are pretty much the same across species. In my family, anyway.
I’ve always thought that Cindy Crawford was flat-out gorgeous, and knew that there was probably no way that she could have unattractive offspring.
But my goodness.
That is some fabulous DNA going on in this picture, is there not?
I’ve got family-picture envy.
I often get the “oh, your daughter looks JUST like you” but it is almost scary how much Cindy’s daughter looks like her.