Working as I do for the Manolo I am perhaps hypersensitized to the semiotic power of the shoe (and I may or may not be PMSing additionally but that is neither here nor there and nothing a little Merlot won’t put right) and yet I defy anyone to view the Guardian’s slideshow of magical realist Isabel Allende‘s mementos and remain stonefaced when they see these.

“My son is my soul. These were his first shoes. I have a splendid relationship with my daughter-in-law and we work together in the foundation. Today there are 27 million slaves in the world, mostly women and girls. I know for the rest of my life that this is going to be my mission and my struggle”

If that doesn’t get you, A) see your doctor and B) click on to see the next image… (more…)

Have you ever been indecisive about buying a pair of shoes for your child?  Have you ever stared at them and thought to yourself, if only they had a great name, I would purchase these in a heartbeat!

I didn’t think so.

But apparently the marketing gurus at Kenneth Cole REACTION (uh, their caps, not mine) are under the impression that a saccharinely cute name will distinguish them from the rest of the pack.

Unfortunately, the word “distinguish” can be open to interpretation.

Whip ‘N Skip

For those parents who want to give their children early exposure to, er, alternative occupations. No horizon is too broad for Kenneth Cole!

A Faze ing 2 Dress Shoe

I’m not sure exactly what they were going for with this one.  A word play on “amazing?” But why doesn’t it make an ounce of sense?  And you lose me whenever you pretend u r 2 kewl to spell correctly.

Yum n Yummer Sandal

How did they know?  How did they know that making a  not-so-sly reference to a horrible Jim Carrey movie would make me want to get these? Bonus points for making up a word that doesn’t exist in the English language!

Blink of a Pie Canvas

Kenneth Cole, I’m beginning to think that your marketing department is harboring some sort of grudge against you.  Sending down a couple of pizzas now and then couldn’t hurt.

Ace of Braids

Sounds like this one was made up after one too many losses at the poker table.  It seems the bitterness didn’t stay in Vegas like it was supposed to.

And just to show that the girls have no monopoly on the dubious names, I present:

Hima Lion

Seriously, these people have no shame.  Even if it came with my own personal Sherpa, I wouldn’t get these because the name is just that bad.

I think there are some 6th graders who can come up with names that are just as good, if not better than the ones here.  I bet they’ll work a heck of a lot cheaper, too.

Alas, I have been neglecting the boys. I apologize!

The problem, it seems, with boy’s footwear is that there is not a lot of choice out there. Why is it they can find a million ways to do a Mary Jane but only five for an Oxford?

But since the holidays are coming, I decided to try and find some nice boy’s dress shoes at a decent price. That is much harder than it sounds.

I tend to favor the traditional over the trendy when it comes to boys dress shoes. The shoes below are beautifully constructed, I wanted very much to love them. But dang if that buckle is just a tad too big and shiny for an eight year old boy. They look very similar to something one of those guys who trumpets the arrival of the royalty to the castle would wear. Couldn’t you just see these co-existing just a bit too comfortably with some tights, balloon pants, and puffy sleeves?

Ah, but here, we have found the magic buckle color, which is more subdued and does not trumpet shout it’s presence.

I also think these loafers by Sperry are a good (and cheaper) alternative, shoes that can go with a suit or just a nice pair of pants and a sweater.

Your caption suggestions in the comments, plzthxkbai!

from the Forgotten Faces Flickrstream

Now, how can I call myself part of the Manolo family and not recommend some shoes? And lo, Awesome Mom, I have found some shoes for boys that I like!

It was tough, let me tell you. When Amazon tells you that there are 6,734 items to look through under boys shoes, they ain’t kidding. I laughed, I cried, I threw the keyboard on the floor in frustration, but finally I found things I would buy for my own son.

I tend to prefer a type of shoe that is a bit of a multi-tasker. That way, perhaps I don’t have to buy quite so many, you know? Shoes that fall somewhere in between a sneaker and a loafer work well, and luckily for me, you, us there are tons of them out there.

But first, how could I resist this “Fun Dog” Rain Boot? Does it not have frivolity and cuteness wrapped up in a functional package? Never mind that where I live, we have been in a drought for about four years. I love these boots. I want a pair for myself

Next up, shoes that are admittedly a bit expensive. However, they look as if they can be worn as easily with windpants and a tee, or jeans and a collared shirt.

And lastly, shoes that are on sale! I admit though, five bucks off isn’t whole lot. But, they are eligible to ship for free! Again, the multi-tasking rules apply to this shoe. I could see this on the playground as well as strolling through the mall.

Now, maybe next time I will be brave and do dress shoes! Or maybe shoes that are black, but I have a thing about black shoes that is perhaps a post for another time.

You’ve probably seen it already, but in case you haven’t:

Click the pic to see it full size. The site doesn’t give credit to the photographer, nor can I find that information anywhere, so if anyone knows who took this shot, please put it in the comments and we’ll link the pic to their site instead. In the meantime, here are a different kind of shadow children.

Dear Manufacturers of This Shoe,

May I ask, what were you thinking? Were you inspired perhaps by the ingestion of too many Tequila Sunrises and decided that yes, the market for white oxfords was one that was just too large to ignore any longer?

The shoe above is being made in toddler and young boy sizes. The last time I checked, toddlers and young boys had zero interest in being mistaken for either a 70’s disco throwback or a retiree angling for that shuffleboard championship.

You may argue, dear manufacturers, that this precious shoe can be worn by the young men in their role as ring bearers and members of a wedding party. But, anyone who dresses said young men in white suits or tuexedoes, which are surely the only thing this shoe matches even remotely, needs to be given a stern lecture which contains such phrases as “this is 2007, for god’s sake” and “even if you live in the antebellum South, white shoes and tuxedoes are still verboten.” I mean, even Britney on her second (or was that the third?) marriage didn’t sink to the level of white tuxedoes. White satin track suits, perhaps, but even she knew enough to resist the white tuxes.

And lastly, I must confess that I take issue with the name of this shoe, “White Fever.” It conjures up images of some sort of worldwide pandemic, with people quarantined in tents and receiving shots. Definitely not something I would want to buy for my child.

Next time, tell your marketing people to just go all out and give it the name it really deserves. The one they were attempting to evoke, but just didn’t have enough guts to go with all the way. Rename the shoe “Saturday White Fever” and at least you get bonus points for being clever.

Smooches,

Glinda