Sameer Mishra, spelling bee champ, suffers a moment of cognitive dissonance during a competition. But under those circumstances, wouldn’t we all?

stolen from JordanSays

Today we are going to be all about the beauty and the bargains. Or, more specifically, the kind of products you can pick up at Target or your local drugstore.

Much like some people prefer Blahniks to Payless, I tend to prefer name brand beauty products over your more mainstream brands like Maybelline.

But sometimes, my eyes are bigger than my budget and I have to pick and choose what I want in “designer” products. There is no doubt that the so-called “drugstore” brands fill an important niche, because if I had to pay over twenty bucks a rather small bottle for the facial cleanser I use twice a day, then I would never be able to splurge on my Vincent Longo lipsticks. Hey, I’ve got my priorities, you know?

So, what does Glinda recommend when perusing the drugstore aisles?

Soap & Glory The Righteous Butter

Ever heard of Bliss? Well, the same company makes Soap & Glory and it can be found at your local Target for a price that is much kinder to your wallet. This body butter with shea and aloe vera doesn’t leave that greasy residue that many body butters do. And it smells better than most, too.

Dove Energy Glow Self Tanner

I have the type of skin that tans, even if I don’t want it to. Sunscreen does not stop the tanning, thus usually resulting in the classic “farmer’s tan” on my arms, as well as some crazy shoe strap patterns on the top of my feet. To help even everything out, I use this Dove self tanner. Unlike most self tanners, it smells pretty darn good. It goes on gradually so that I never have to worry about those pesky streaks. And after about three days, you’ve got some good color going on. Yes, yes, technically the Clarins is better, but for the money, I’d go for the Dove.

Alpha Hydrox Facial Wash

My skin is extremely sensitive, and I have gone all the normal sensitive skin routes to try and find something that won’t irriate it. Cetaphil, Aveeno, all that stuff didn’t not work. What did work was some painfully expensive cleanser from Chanel, but I just couldn’t justify the price. Alpha Hydrox to the rescue! I am just as happy with it as I was with the Chanel. It contains no soap, is oil-free, fragrance free, and has just enough citric acid to pacify my inner Norma Desmond.

Now, let’s chat a bit. I want to know all about your favorite beauty bargains!

You know what to do, so do it in the comments.

Nobody, it seems, wanted to bend it like Beckham. Or bend it with him, or at him, or any other type of bending.

Viggo is still the reigning king!

But, this week’s challenger is also he of the chiseled cheekbones and gravitas. Oh, and those gorgeous hazel eyes don’t hurt either.

vs.

Excuse me, but where would I find the optometry department?

from the Failblog

When I first heard of this product, I thought it was a joke. Surely there was no one drunk/drugged/forced at gunpoint at Nickelodeon to sign on the dotted line for this concept.

But, scarily enough, it’s legit. In what is sure to go down in the annals of marketing history as the worst brand placement ever, I give you:

Yes, a rectal thermometer that plays music. Specifically, the signature theme of Spongebob Squarepants.

Years from now, there will be hordes of young children who will cry whenever Spongebob comes on, and yet have no idea why.

Everything old is goo again!

(I had to; it was there)

Yes, GenX’s favorite toy (besides Pong, that is) is celebrating its thirtieth birthday this year. As with everything and everyone who turns that undeniably-adult age, its tastes have changed over time to something more…sophisticated?

Say hello to Love Slime, Hot Slime, Relax Slime (?) and Elegance Slime (????).

Note that the company says these fragrances are “scented to appeal to adult sensitivities” rather than scented to enhance adult activities. Like that is going to stop anyone.

From TrendsInJapan via Gizmodo.

Gets to choose the best outfit.

The Munchkin’s preschool is having their annual musical showcase.

I am always early dropping him off to school because I am just anal like that about almost any appointment or obligation. I have yet to drop him off late. And with only three weeks to go, I am pretty confident I will maintain my perfect record. I know I just somehow put that curse out on myself, and it is now echoing through the cosmos, probably coming back to bite me in the ass on the day I need to take him to his SAT’s.

So, there I am being all early and stuff, when I see that there is a sign-up sheet on the little table the teacher has set up outside the door. I pick it up, and it seems that this year the school is being anal as well, for there are actual outfits, costumes if you will, that must be worn to this year’s Musical Extravaganza. I look at the two choices for boys:

White Dress Shirt and Khaki Pants

or

Blue Dress Shirt, Blue Pants and Blue Suspenders

Huh?

Blue Suspenders? I have no idea where you can even purchase blue suspenders around here. I can’t even remember the last time I saw a child, or even a grown man other than Larry King, who just doesn’t count, wearing suspenders.

So of course, I sign up for the relatively easy white shirt and khaki pants.

I watched as some of the moms straggled in to class as I was getting in my car. And all I could think was, you are gonna be the chumps who have to go searching high and low for some suspenders that your kid will most likely never wear again.

Suckers.