I was talking to a friend of mine who wa recently laid off her job of ten years. She spoke of some depression and anxiety, and she wants badly to climb out of the funk. However, losing her job was an unexpected blow to both her ego and her bank account.  She has two boys, seven and two years old.

She said that she had been talking to her mother-in-law and the MIL mentioned that she had noticed that my friend had changed since she had first met her.

“You know,” she mused, “You definitely became different after you had the kids.  You used to be so happy and carefree.”

Well I’m sorry, but what the hell is suprising enough about that to warrant a comment?

Who among us was not a fairly happy, carefree married/attached woman when things like children and mortgages weren’t in the picture?

It’s really easy to be lighhearted and the life of the party when you don’t have small leeches that suck the life out of you children.  Imagine being able to have some time to yourself to read a book, or have a guilt-free workout, or a glass of wine, or any of another million things that become harder when you have children under the age of five.

And I think the worst part of it is that even though the MIL truly wasn’t trying to be critical, I think that if my friend had maintained a devil-may-care attitude, people would have noticed and said that she obviously doesn’t take mothering all that seriously.

Motherhood, the land of no winning.