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Archive for April, 2011


We Don’t Bounce a Lot of Quarters Around Here

Tuesday, April 19th, 2011
By Glinda

Quoted from Erma Bombeck, one of my all-time favorite authors:

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.

Judge me if you must, but Erma and I are on the same page.

As a child, my mother forced me to make my bed every morning.  I never saw the point, unless the covers were so out of order that you couldn’t pull them over yourself completely.  Then, I certainly saw the wisdom of straightening them out.

I confess to not being a stickler about the Munchkin making his own bed.  In fact, I don’t really remember the last time he did it.

It doesn’t help that he has an all-in-one bed, the kind with the mattress on top like a bunkbed, and drawers and a desk underneath.  I certainly can’t make it up the ladder to inspect it, or let’s just say I don’t want to make it up the ladder to inspect it, shall we.  It’s difficult to make a bed that you must sit on in order to fix the blankets, so I give him a pass.

But to be honest, even if he didn’t have a bed like that, I probably wouldn’t force him to do it all the time, only when I was feeling the need to be anal about something fairly innocuous.

Which happens more often than you would think, but still not a priority.

My track record with my own bed is pretty poor, especially since our daughter is sleeping in it as well.  Since she also naps there, it means I would have to make it twice a day and mama just does not have the time for that.

But parenting is all about picking your battles, and I’d rather save mine for the thousands of Legos on the floor.


Celebrity Dad Faceoff 2.0

Friday, April 15th, 2011
By Glinda

That whoosh you are hearing?  That is Robert Downey Jr., ascending bodily up into the Celebrity Dad Hall of Fame.  Have fun, Robert!

So today marks the exciting part of CDF for me when I have to hunt down not one, but two celebrity dads I haven’t yet included.  I’m thinking soon, though, that I will have exhausted the list and will have to start somewhere close to the beginning, just with different dad combinations.  Or, maybe a series of Hall of Fame battles?  Who knows, it will probably depend on how much tea I’ve had to drink that day.

Our first contender is someone I’ve always considered to be way sex-ay, and it is truly a travesty that I have not featured him yet.  I was going to feature him with clothes, and then I thought, why would I deprive you ladies of the pleasure of this man without a shirt?  Only a vindictive harridan would do that, and I’m only vindictive every other Friday. Today is your lucky day!

The second contestant is one current recovering alcoholic with a more-famous estranged wife.

VERSUS


Now I Have Seen it All

Thursday, April 14th, 2011
By Glinda

Seriously?

We have now regressed to the point where in order for a child to help out in the kitchen, they must stand on a freaking “safety tower?”

I have never even heard of a child falling off a simple step stool, but here is the Baby Industrial Complex, ready to play on every fear!  What if little Johnny falls backwards while he is washing his hands?  No, that will NOT do!  He must be completely encased in a wooden tower from which there is zero chance his precious head will ever touch the floor!  The horror of even thinking about it is giving me the vapors!

Listen, parents need to buck up and realize that falling off a step stool is a character-building event.   If by some chance a toddler falls off a step stool because they were goofing around or reaching for a knife and became off balance, then a bump on the noggin is a valuable teaching tool!  Next time, they will be more careful, mark my words.  Balance, it is an important life skill.

I’ve got a pretty big kitchen, but having this sticking out in the middle of it while I’m trying to cook would drive me batty.  And what about people who don’t have room for such a thing in their kitchen?  Apparently only people with large kitchens deserve to have their children stay safe.   Too bad for you, small kitchen people!  No accident-preventing wooden towers for your kids!

I read the reviews on this product, and some buyers praised it because their kids also used it as a “puppet theater” or a “fort” or even a “pulpit.” Yeah, well, if I’ve paid a hundred and fifty bucks for the damn thing, it had better deliver a sermon for me every Sunday.

And I don’t want to hear from anybody about how useful it might be for kids with disabilities.  That is a given. 

But we are mostly talking about regular kids, the kind for whom a little fall once in a while can be a good thing.

Seriously.


A Woman Has The Right to Change Her Mind…

Wednesday, April 13th, 2011
By Glinda

I’ve personally watched the Jedi Training Academy many times at Disneyland, but I’ve never seen this happen before…


Homeschooling: Not Just for Nutjobs Anymore

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011
By Glinda

Of course I don’t mean that only nutjobs homeschool, because then of course, I would be implying that I myself am one.

Well, maybe I am and I just don’t know it.

Making the decision to homeschool was one of the most difficult I’ve yet to make as a parent.  There is such a stigma surrounding the whole process, and in talking to people, I found that many had the impression that people who homeschooled were sort of odd, or anarchist-leaning,  or crazy, or religious, or some sort of combination of all four. 

But the reality is that there are as many types of families who homeschool as there are in any school setting.  It would be nice and easy to label homeschooling families as nuts or weirdos, but I’ve found in my dealings with the homeschooling community that there aren’t really many of those around.  It is entirely possible that I haven’t been looking hard enough, though.

For whatever reason, the formal school system wasn’t working for their children and their families, and so they decided to be proactive about it.   Say what you will about homeschoolers, but they are obviously not an apathetic bunch.

I cannot even begin to tell you how our lives are different now that we are homeschooling the Munchkin.  The freedom that this type of situation brings to a family is amazing.  To say that I am stress-free would not be true, as I have a toddler after all, but I am actually much less stressed than when he was attending school.  

I must admit that I am fortunate to have a student who “gets it” on the first try.  There is not a whole lot of explaining to do when it comes to math or reading, and when we hit a bump in the road we quickly address it, conquer it, and move on.  I have a newfound appreciation for how special and unique my son is, and even if he decides to go back to regular school next year, it will have been worth it just for that alone.

So if you are on the fence about homeschooling, I would seriously advise you to give it a try.  You just might like it.


Monday Teeny Poll

Monday, April 11th, 2011
By Glinda

65% of you say that if people are willing to pay more for child-free flights, if offered, then godspeed to them.  23% find it discriminatory, and 10% of people with kids would fly it themselves if they could.  To be honest, the child-hating trend that is out there right now concerns me a bit.  I mean, it is one thing to have smoke-free flights because second hand smoke is dangerous to your health.  Are we really lumping children into a similar category?  I could possibly embrace a child-free section of the airplane. 

Today I’ve got a personal question for you.  Well, it’s a personal question for me, to be honest.  My family, including grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. is going to have a formal picture taken by a professional photographer.  Formal meaning that we are going to be all lit up nicely and all that jazz that comes with a professional.  Now, the rub is that we don’t know how to have everyone dress.  We are actually quite a small family, and the total number of people is going to be 16.  Should we dress in a color-coordinated way?  Casual? Semi-casual? Semi-formal outfits for everyone and color matching be damned?  Everybody wearing essentially the same outfit?  We are at a loss, and turn to the wise members of the Manolosphere for help.

photo via


Celebrity Dad Faceoff 2.0

Friday, April 8th, 2011
By Glinda

There was no saving Ferris, unfortunately.  Danke schon to the 15% who voted for him, though.  Just pretend I put those two dots above the O there.

Robert Downey Jr. only needs to win one more, I think, before he finds himself in the Hall of Fame.  Hmmm, who shall I pit against him this time?

VERSUS


Colorado 8 Year Old Pepper Sprayed

Wednesday, April 6th, 2011
By Glinda

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I am usually the first one to defend police, as I’ve got policemen in my immediate family.

Hi-ever.

I’m trying to think why they thought using pepper spray on an 8 year old boy was appropriate.

The only thing I can think of is that they didn’t want to try to physically restrain him due to potential lawsuits, so they went down the dubious pepper spray road.

I’m also wondering if this child has been tested for possible disabilities? Supposedly he is in therapy, so the answer should be yes. Right?

In the video, I first thought that the police spokesperson was the lawyer for the boy’s family, and I thought he was being sarcastic when he mentioned they were “in fear of this 8 year old boy” or whatever similar sentence he said that I’m too lazy to go back and double check.

I’m just feeling like it is alternate universe day, for some reason.









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