Promises, Promises
By Glinda
I solemnly swear I will never do these things to my infant daughter:
-Apply nail polish to her fingers or toes.
-Put her in a bikini.
-Enter her in a beauty pageant.
-Force her to wear shirts/onesies featuring bands she has never heard of.
-Dress her as a mini-me in matching outfits.
-Take her to a spa.
-Use flashcards to drill her in phonics, or math, or anything else.
-Make her wear dresses all the time. Or tutus. What is it with the tutus?
-Get a “glamour” photo done.
I’ve seen way too many parents do these, and I’m not willing to subject her to such things for what basically amounts to parental gratification. I’m not saying none of these will happen when she’s older, but it’s going to be YEARS. Calculate how many you think it might be, and then add two more, minimum.
Although, is it wrong that since her brother is dressing up as Harry Potter for Halloween, that I desperately want her to be Hedwig? But damn if there are no cute owl costumes in her size range. Foiled!
October 13th, 2010 at 9:02 am
Put her in pants that say “Juicy” across her pre-pubescent ass, flashing like neon to the neighborhood pedophile, who really needs no advertising to take note.
October 14th, 2010 at 7:22 am
I have been taken aback by the intensity with which my two young daughters want to be like me. It’s touching when they tuck their baby dolls in for the night, embarrassing when the baby caricatures my slippery fall down a grassy hill. But I’m beginning to think there is something very primal about young girls wanting to grow up to be like Mommy. So they want to walk around in heels, play with make-up, paint their nails.
There is a balance between letting them choose their clothes and shoes and hair bows and leading by example on what is and is not appropriate wear. I probably would have had the same thoughts about nail polish–until my oldest daughter was 3, and really wanted her toenails done like mine. And I thought, I never thought I’d be the kind of mommy who would paint her daughter’s toenails, but it’s just the toes, and she just wants to be like me. So in the summer now we do our toenails together. I wouldn’t do it, if she didn’t want to, but I see nothing inappropriate about it.
October 14th, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Did you know that I know Hedwig’s parents? As in, my mom goes to church with the parents of the guy who wrote Hedwig and the Angry Inch. He (the dad) is a retired general (colonel?) who was the US top guy in Berlin years ago, which was where their kid got his inspiration for the story.
Yes, you may tell people you are blog friends with me, the woman whose mother is friends with the parents of Hedwig’s creator.
October 14th, 2010 at 2:03 pm
We might not be talking about the same Hedwig after all.
October 14th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
@tgd- I think those are pretty much passe at this poin, thank god.
@marvel- I had a specific person in mind when writing this, who painted her newborn’s toes because she had four boys and had been wanting a daughter. And while I sort of get the whole wanting the daughter thing, I thought it was a mite early.
I’m not sure if I would paint my own daughter’s toenails at three, and this is coming from someone who loves makeup and such. I don’t know if it’s a rebellion against the fact that our kids grow up much too fast. It’s almost impossible these days, but I see makeup as something for either dress-up or until they are AT LEAST in middle school. I’m old fashioned, I know.
October 14th, 2010 at 2:09 pm
@tgd- Ha, no NOT the “angry” Hedwig! Hedwig the snow owl!
October 14th, 2010 at 5:02 pm
Get a chicken costume and cut off the red parts . . .
October 14th, 2010 at 10:29 pm
Ah, I don’t think of nail polish as “makeup.” For whatever reason it’s a different category for me. I agree with the sentiment that daughters ought not be dressed up and paraded around like dolls. And no make-up make-up until 13, unless there is a special occasion (like a dress-up dance recital.)
I didn’t know there was another Hedwig! Who is the angry Hedwig? I only know Harry Potter’s Hedwig.
October 15th, 2010 at 12:03 am
@tgd- Somehow your first Hedwig comment got lost, that is so cool!
@Kimmer- Good idea!
@marvel- Crikey, my link embedding isn’t working. Hedwig and the Angry Inch was a musical that got turned into a movie about a rock band fronted by a transgender singer. Wikipedia’s got info on it if you are curious.
October 17th, 2010 at 4:28 am
Angry Hedwig is teh ossum, but would make for a very strange Halloween costume for a baby. But it makes an extra cool blog comment, tgd!
“Glamour Photos.” Aren’t these the kind of things girls who are “glamour models” pose for? Like, Katie Price and Jodie Marsh?
October 17th, 2010 at 7:55 pm
@raincoaster- An example of a glamour photo (to me) would be like the one I’ve put up with this post. Hair all did, makeup, retouching. Ugh.
October 17th, 2010 at 11:10 pm
Honest to god, I thought that was some hideous “Brazilian doll facelift” victim whose photo you were using for its grossness. Yeah, who doesn’t want to look like Tammy Faye Bakker, run through a rock tumbler?
October 18th, 2010 at 8:51 am
I did think it was a bit odd to dress a toddler as a transsexual rock singer with a botched operation, but I am not a parent so what do I know? I thought perhaps it was the edgy, done thing these days.
October 20th, 2010 at 12:05 pm
a six-year-old of my acquaintance made her own owl costume. Yellow leggings, big fluffy, hooded sweatshirt and little paper owl ears taped to the top of the hood. Her sister made her paper wings that were taped to the sleeves. It was one of the best DIY costumes I’ve ever seen – she really did look quite owl-y.