Boys vs. Girls- And Everybody Loses
By Glinda
One of the Munchkin’s oldest and best friends is a girl.
Well, was one of his best friends.
I’ll get to that in a moment.
They attended the same preschool, kindergarten, and are currently at the same school for first grade, although not in the same class. They’ve been to each other’s houses for birthday parties, gone to the movies together, had playdates galore, gone trick or treating together, and basically hung out like good friends do.
The other day I asked him how Jessica* was doing.
“Oh, we’re not friends anymore.”
Wait, what?
When pressed for details, he explained to me that both of them are being teased by people calling them “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” girls are the anti-christ, yadda yadda yadda.
In the first grade? Already?
I knew that at some point some kids would say something similar, but I didn’t expect it until much later.
Silly, stupid me.
Don’t I know that kids are becoming mini-adults at an ever earlier age?
When I was in first grade, I’m not sure I even knew what a “boyfriend” was. And I had a very good friend who happened to be a boy, and it wasn’t until middle school where things got a bit awkward and we kind of went our separate ways, but with no bad feelings. But then again, I”ve been told that I was quite sheltered as a youth.
So, what’s next?
Do I tell him to shrug off what is apparently some pretty serious peer pressure? Do I condone only being friends outside of school, and pretending at school that they aren’t? Or do I just let the drama play out as it will and not be a helicopter parent?
But I sure do have a strong desire to fire up those blades right about now.
*not her real name, obviously
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May 20th, 2010 at 11:28 am
I would just let them handle it themselves, but you may suggest that he could buck peer pressure and still be friends with her but let him make the final choice.
May 20th, 2010 at 3:02 pm
My son also has a bestie that’s a girl. It doesn’t bother him for people to call her his girlfriend but it does bother her. They are both 9 now and 6 months to the day apart in age, she’s older. I don’t remember exactly when the being called boyfriend/girlfriend started but I think it may have been as early as Pre-K. It’s best to let them pick how to handle it I think but I did explain to them both that TECHNICALLY because she is a girl and his friend that she is a girlfriend while not being THE girlfriend which made them both feel a bit better about it.
May 25th, 2010 at 2:34 am
This makes me very sad. My 5yo son has always had good friends that are girls. This makes me wonder whether he’s going to become self-conscious about having them as friends in a couple of years. I hope not.
I don’t know what you should do, but would tend to agree with Awesome Mom here. It’s probably best to give the mini-peer pressure talk and then let him make his own choice.