Things I Hate: Coffee
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010By Glinda
Yes, you read that right.
I hate coffee.
I”ve never liked it, even when my dad would give me sips of his (black) coffee as a kid. Well, maybe that is why I dislike it so much, as coffee with nothing in it is akin to unfiltered motor oil.
In this Starbucks nation, I am a tea drinker, which puts me in some assuredly tiny minority of people who have never ever tasted a Frappuccino.
And don’t anyone try to tell me what I’m missing, because I know that I am missing absolutely nothing.
Even the name turns me off, reminding me of all sorts of things. Tuberculosis comes first to mind.
Coffee leaves a horrid taste in my mouth that nothing short of sandblasting my mouth can get rid of. Not to mention the bad breath, and coffee lovers, you are deluding yourselves that you are immune from the dreaded fire-breathing coffee effect.
Give me tea any day. I”ll take it green, or Earl Grey, or Darjeeling, or any number of ways except perhaps for orange. Sit me down at a formal tea, and I am a happy girl, delicately partaking of my scones, lemon curd, and clotted cream.
Listen, there is tea picked by monkeys and there is coffee pooped by monkeys.
That tells me all I need to know.