Word of the Day: Parenting
By raincoaster
And here’s our quote of the day, from Paul Drielsma in the NYT, via Kottke:
Scour the parenting forums on the Internet and you’ll find the common lament that “DH” (darling husband) expects a medal whenever he “babysits” junior for a few hours. I have little sympathy for DH in these cases, but maybe a step in the right direction would be to stop using language that suggests hired help — to stop referring to DH’s job in the same terms as somebody who could legitimately stick his hand out at the end of his shift and demand a tip. DH isn’t babysitting, he’s parenting, and just changing that one word changes, for me at least, all sorts of connotations.
Perhaps a few learning aids would help?
June 30th, 2009 at 10:20 am
I don’t care if you’re the mother, the father, or someone completely unrelated: I’ve always found it ridiculous and all-around insulting when someone says that the father is “babysitting”. It implies all sorts of ridiculous things about both parents’ roles. The mother and father made the kid together, and they are equally responsible for the care and raising of that kid. My husband agrees, and has already indicated that if asked if he’s babysitting, he’ll look the questioner straight in the eye and ask, “If you saw my wife out with our baby, would you ask her if she’s babysitting? No? Then why are you asking me that?”
June 30th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
This is one of the things that drives my husband (primary caretaker/stay at home dad) absolutely insane when he’s out.
People that imply he’s babysitting, people who ask where Mom is, people who say “couldn’t get a babysitter today, huh?”, etc. etc. etc.
I have a boss who refers to taking care of his kids while his wife is out as babysitting and it just makes me cringe every time I hear it.
If we want/expect our men to be full partners in our childrearing, then we have to stop marginalizing their contributions (and letting them marginalize it themselves).