Romeo Speaks!
By raincoasterI dunno if you’ve been following the heartwarming(ish) saga of Harvey Kindlon, a boy with a fascination for celebrity and a soon-to-be-deleted Facebook account. But you are about to become acquainted with the closest thing the celebrity gossip blogosphere has to classic tragedy, with bonus Hollywood happy ending tacked tackily on.
Here is Harvey, doing his thing a few days ago:
That image would speak for itself, if in fact Harvey were a normal, enthralled 11-year Megan Fox fan. In fact, he’s a semi-regular celebrity hound of generic ilk, who sadly doesn’t really give a rat’s patootie about the Brunette du Jour except that she is indeed du Jour. But someone at Kodak saw this heart-wrenching picture and decided to mend the heart that had been so clearly broken; they offered a $5000 reward for information leading to the identification of the Boy with the Yellow Rose. Like a newfangled detective force of the internets, they got their fan.
Surprisingly, he’s not Texan at all:
Tell us about what happened that night.
We’d heard she was in London for the premiere, so we decided to head down there. I picked up the rose on the way.And when she came by and didn’t take your flower, did you feel rejected?
I felt rejected. But I couldn’t really tell if she’d done it on purpose. There were so many cameras around. She was moving really fast. Afterwards we ran through the hotel, but she didn’t stop. I dropped the rose on the ground and went home.Have you accepted her apology?
I actually haven’t heard anything that she’s said.So do you want to go into the entertainment industry when you’re done with school?
I really love to sing and dance and act. I’m trying to get into a stage school in London, but it’s really hard to get an audition.I bet you’ll get an audition now, now that everyone knows who you are.
I hope so.
Harvey, buddy, please. I’m not sure I know of a single comedy, drama or musical that requires a tragic pubescent rose-thrower. Although if there was, even Simon Cowell would have to give it to you.
June 28th, 2009 at 10:05 am
Why should she apologize? And why did he waste a perfectly lovely rose? I’m sure his mother would have loved it.
June 28th, 2009 at 6:48 pm
She had to apologize or risk looking like a snob, and that wouldn’t work with her “rough and ready grrrrl” image. She actually gave a very nice, spontaneous apology, all “Oh my god, I didn’t see that poor kid! I feel awful!”
As for his mother, well, what kind of mother lets her son out to chase celebrities around London until midnight?
June 29th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Oh, OK. From the photo, it looks like she is being pulled past this kid and doesn’t even see him, which is exactly what she says. I had never heard of her before this story, so I don’t know what her image is.
I don’t think I would like to be a celebrity, with every move being scrutinized like that: if I don’t see someone thrusting a rose in my face, I’m a bitch!
June 29th, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Indeed. Wouldn’t it be nice, though, if not seeing the eighteenth rose thrust at you that day was your worst problem? I think that’s my new ambition.