Many and varied are the sorry tales of bloggers betrayed. From Dooce getting … dooced to blog scrapers scraping the bottom of the barrel, ripping off bloggers, it seems, is the new black. Well, now this loathesome crime wave has come to TeenyManolo.

We … we feel so violated.

Undoubtably, it happened this way: some Hollywood assistant was trawling Google Alerts for her boss’s name and stumbled across our very own Glinda’s patented (but, regrettably, not trademarked) Celebrity Dad Faceoff series. Lightning or some other substance struck, jolting the normally torpid PA into action; TeenyManolo would be milked dry and left, dessicated and violated, by the side of the Information Superhighway.

Celebrity Dad Faceoff would be made real. But as any denizen of Oz could have told you, you do not mess with Glinda without getting your posterior put in a sling and additionally several Tupperware containers of various sizes. Yes, you can rip her off, but you will be accurst forevermore! And so it has come to pass.

How can we tell this ripoff is cursed? Just look at the only two they could find to star in it:

OK! Magazine claims Michael Lohan intends to challenge K-Fed to a boxing match. Michael tells OK! “Everyone wants me to fight K-fed because he’s a notorious celebrity dad and so am I. It’s for charity.”

…

Michael goes on to say “It’s serious boxing. You have to go get a trainer. I have to register with the Mature Boxing Association.”

One would have to have some maturity first, you’d think.

The following blog post is brought to you by Dr Boli. And before you chuckle, realize that there is a posh salon in my city that charges women $10 extra to sit outside with wet hair and one of those ridiculous facial tanning reflectors; they call it a “solar dry.”

Ahhhh! School is in the air! For some of you, including me, school days have already arrived. But, it’s never too late to enjoy a great school movie with your kids. Most of these are for older kids, so as always, parental discretion is advised. But really, that goes without saying, doesn’t it?

High School Musical Resistance is futile! This mega popular movie has been going strong for almost three years and counting. Can the star basketball player and the shy new girl become a pair? It’s a Disney movie, what do you think?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone The classic that first introduced us to Hogwarts. And who in their right mind wouldn’t want to attend Hogwarts?

School of Rock Jack Black, in probably his best starring role. He becomes a subsitute teacher at a stuffy prep school, and nothing but fun can happen with Jack Black as your teacher.

Napoleon Dynamite Follow the nerdy socially challenged Napoleon through his trials and tribulations in high school. Love those tater tots, and don’t forget, vote for Pedro!

Dead Poets Society If you did not shed a tear at this movie about a group of students at a boarding school and their special bond with their teacher, then your heart is a lump of charcoal. Go have a barbeque instead.

(more…)

Like some ambiguous, night-cloaked Drosselmeyer of the velvet underground, demented couturier Karl Lagerfeld continually brings the gift of confused, vaguely uncomfortable delight to little bloggers everywhere.

Yesterday, cougars. Today, bears. Tomorrow???

He’s made a fancypants teddy bear that will retail at Neiman Marcus for a completely reasonable $1,500. Lagerfeld is very optimistic about the ursine species “bears are very nice, as long as you are nice to them.”

That is probably true, although I’m only guessing. Something tells me that our dear, sweet Uncle Karl has a lot more experience with bears than I do.