Their parents must be so, so very proud. From the country which gave us the concept of quiet dignity (as well as the concept of embarrassment) comes news of a party of teenage revelers too giddy to notice details such as the incoming tide, the fact that the party was located on a cliff ledge in Devon, and the fact that they had lost the coherent use of their legs and arms. When they called for rescue they also discovered they’d lost the coherent use of their voices, and thus were unable to tell the rescuers where they were.

Only one of them had an epileptic seizure, and he was the only one together enough to be airlifted out. As for the rest of them, they were in worse shape and the rescue crew took one look, presumably took a second and third, and perhaps a whiff of the fumes arising from the festive gathering, and decided to leave the kids on the ledge to sober up overnight.

A decision was made that it was safer to leave them in the location they were in, until daylight, it added.

Zoe Boyne, the coastguard watch manager, said: “It was too dangerous to rescue the seven others because they were rather intoxicated and it would have been too hazardous to take them down to the lifeboat.

“This incident has tied up many resources throughout the night. It has also highlighted the dangers of young people putting themselves at risk in locations where they lose control of their actions due to the effects of intoxicating substances.”

She said coastguard teams, a lifeboat, the military helicopter and a police helicopter, police and ambulance personnel were all involved in the rescue operation which began at 12.45am.

When you are too drunk to be fireman-carried down to a lifeboat by trained professionals, you, my friend, are too drunk. The names of the youngsters involved has not been released by police, but presumably will be available freely on Facebook’s Most Wanted as soon as they get over the hangovers.

The Olympics never fail to make me cry. There is just something so grand, so wonderful, so inspiring about it that every darn opening ceremony will force me to bring out the hankie. Sentimental much, Glinda?

Sports can be a great way to let your child learn the values of discipline and commitment, while at the same time allowing them to test their physical limits and abiliites. Let your child experiment with different sports, even the more obscure or less popular ones here in the United States. Why have them compete against millions of other kids in the most popular sports?  Go for the ones that nobody plays and they have a much better shot at standing out. Who knows, there may be a gold medal in your future. And hey, it may be in archery, but a gold medal is a gold medal, baby.

Babolat junior Roddick 125 Tennis Racquet One of the best raquets, but pint-sized and with a price tag to match. Only a bit more expensive than other rackets, but you get a better raquet.

Sock’em Boppers I’m not sure that boxing is a sport for young kids, but they can sort of get the feel for it with these.

Bouncer Now why did I not know that the trampoline was an Olympic event? Well, it is, and we all know that kids LOVE to bounce.

Badminton Set A bit challenging for wee ones, but badminton can actually be a lot of fun! If you’re playing with the right crowd, of course.

Monkey Business Surefire Compound Bow I admit that this is a compound bow which looks a bit intimidating, but shooting foam arrows is fun no matter how it’s done.

Table Tennis Set Don’t want to spend all that money for a big official table? Use this set to turn any table into a table tennis court!

Practice Fencing Foil The USA Women’s Team just swept all three medals in fencing, so why not enroll your child in a class and try it out? I know quite a few people who have fenced and greatly enjoyed it, and you can buy a child-sized blade for this foil.