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Archive for December 30th, 2007

Listmania! New Year’s Resolutions for Underachievers

Sunday, December 30th, 2007
By Glinda

Same old, same old…

I am proud to present my annual list of resolutions for those who could be described as a personality type residing a bit further down the alphabet.  For those who find all that mumbo jumbo about getting fit, lowering credit card debt, and being more conscientious about cleaning the house to be just too much effort.

1. Wake Up Every Morning. Doing this successfully gives you that psychological boost you need to keep up with the rest of your resolutions. I mean, when day number 354 rolls around, how many people can honestly say they stuck to their resolution every day of the year? Not many, my friends, not many.

2. Drink More of Something.  Whether it be water, green tea, or vodka tonic, surely there is something we should all drink more often.

3.  Eat Less of Something.  If you usually can mow through an entire can of Pringles in one sitting, as long as you stop one chip short of finishing the can, you’re good. Same with a bag of M&M’s. Or that carton of Ben & Jerry’s.  You get the picture.

4.  Be Able to Run Faster Than at Least Two Other People. And if that means hanging out with 1 1/2 and 6474 year olds all the time, then so be it.  At least you will know that you have the ability to outrun somebody, and that makes you feel good inside.

5.  Educate Yourself.  Learn Latin, the secrets of making really cool balloon animals, how to churn butter, or countless other skills to improve your daily life. Remember, learning is always an adventure!

6. Try New Things. Making those reservations at that Michelin 4-star restaurant, deciding to part your hair a different way, or sleeping on the opposite side of the bed. They all count.

7. This List is Already Too Long and Too Much Work, so There is No Number Seven!

8. Avoid Movies that Will Make You Cry. Life is hard enough, do we really need to pay good money to be emotionally manipulated to weep at fictional stories? 2008 is the year to stop the insanity!

9. Get Out More. “Getting out” could be defined by some as attending the theater more often. To others, it could be simply opening your front door and sitting on the lawn. How far you take this one is up to you.

10. Your turn!

Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
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