For some things, there are no words:

Where DOES she put the latte?

May we suggest she use this method of transportation instead? It’s designed for increased stability, ya know!

Ahhh, Christmas!  The trees, the decorations, the lights!  And oh, the ear-torturing music!  For some reason, everyone wants to record a Christmas tune.  Sometimes the results are delightful, and sometimes they make you wish you had never ever had the misfortune to hear them.  This list is the worst of the worst.

1. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Dr. Elmo

Have you LISTENED to the lyrics?  I can take a joke as well as anyone, but have never thought this to be even remotely funny.

2. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, Gayla Peevey

Cute and whimsical can only get so far with me.

3.  Anything by Manheim Steamroller

Resist the Muzak!

4.  White Christmas, Michael Bolton

Bing Crosby weeps in heaven every time this version is played.

5. Christmas Time, Backstreet Boys

Remind me again how these guys ever sold any albums? 

6. The Christmas Song, Alvin and the Chipmunks 

There are times when we can make allowances for the hit songs of our childhood, but this song just isn’t one of them.

7. Jingle Bells, The Barking Dogs

  It was cute the first oh, twenty times I heard it.  After that, every second is pure torture.

8. Dominick the Christmas Donkey, Lou Monte

 I have no words for this song.  It is just THAT BAD.

9. Santa Baby, Madonna

Make it stop!  Make it stop, I beg you!

10. I Wish Every Day Could Be Like Christmas, Bon Jovi

Not being raised anywhere near the East Coast, I have no blind spot for Jon Bon Jovi and his nasally voice.  This song lasts about 2:34 minutes too long.