Single men, forget all the things you hear from Maxim and Stuff about how to pick up a chick.  Teeny Manolo is here to help.  We gaurantee that this method will work.  We won’t demand any payment, we do this as a public service.   So men, save the lame lines, ditch the fresh produce aisle, and leave the puppies at home.  There’s a new game in town.

Teeny Manolo’s Guide to Picking Up Chicks in Six Easy Steps:

1. Legally procure someone else’s child.  A young child is good, but it can be of almost any age.  

2. Request that the child be dressed nicely, but in an outfit that doesn’t quite match. 

3. Take the child anywhere there will be women around.  A park is good, a mall is better.

4. Begin interacting with the child.  Silly faces, peek-a-boo, and tag are all time-tested winners. 

5.  Prepare yourself for the onslaught of women who will approach you, completely of their own volition.

6.  Pick and choose from the many members of the opposite sex who are practically throwing themselves at you.

There is something so compelling about seeing a man with child.  I don’t know if it is something subliminal, or biological, or what, but watching a man having a good time with children is a surefire way to melt the hearts of all women within a hundred foot radius.  

Women will think you are a caring, kind individual.  They will think you are a responsible individual.  In the back of their minds, they will think that you are prime daddy material, because you obviously like kids. 

These things will make you nigh upon irresistible to almost any woman.

Because if it can make even Jack Black look adorable, just think of what it can do for you.