Anything to keep the child support coming, eh Denise?

Now, I’m not malevolent. I don’t really, deep-down, want to believe that celebrities are insane.

And yet, they make it so easy.

Here is Hollywood punchline Denise Richards and her two lovely daughters, attending a Halloween party in Beverly Hills. We shall, of course, overlook the obvious pun, which I have in fact and in actuality already made elsewhere, and focus rather on: 1) the fact that Denise looks good for her, not naked, not high, yep, pretty good for Denise Richards, but moreover and furtherto upon 2) the fact that of all the potential Halloween costumes in the entire world, rife as it is with a vast selection of Halloween costumes of all shapes, sizes, and jokey celebrity references, Denise Richards has chosen to dress Charlie Sheen‘s little girl up as

a cheerleader.

Thank you to the Manolo, raincoaster, and everyone who sent their postive thoughts our way.  It worked!  We are out of danger, and all signs point to it staying that way.  Please keep in mind the hundreds of thousands displaced, and hope that the winds, which are the main reason the fires are out of control, die down very soon.  Let us keep repeating “onshore flow, onshore flow” because that is what is most needed.

Now, what better way to keep my mind off of things than to hunt for an item for the newest edition of One Bid?

My friends, I present to you the most expensive, blingiest potential choking hazard you will ever see.

Because nothing says you love your infant daughter like a Swarovski-encrusted pacifier!  Regular pacifiers are for suckers.  Get it? Suckers?

Hey, cut me some slack, people.

The cabin fever we are experiencing here at Casa Glinda is torture. As soon as Glinda can leave the house without a face mask, the era of tacky jokes will be over, I promise.

But really, infants can be startlingly similar to crows, in that they are fascinated by shiny objects, and I could totally see this working to distract them.  The downside is they would probably try to put the wrong side of it in their mouths.

And it seems that for some people, I must reiterate that you are not allowed to go over the actual retail price.  If I was to ignore this crucial rule, the logic on which the universe is partly based, life as we know it may cease to exist.  Just ask Bob Barker.

Guess away!