Speaking of food, I think one of the most important skills you can teach your child is how to cook for themselves.

When your kid is finally able to move out of the house, is it your wish that they subsist solely on EasyMac and frozen burritos? And when they really feel like living it up, some bagel bites?

If not, then you have to bring them into the kitchen. Make no mistake, it is messy. Flour will be spilled all over the counters and the floor. Eggshell pieces will undoubtedly fall into the bowl due to overenthusiastic cracking, necessitating patience and a spoon to fish them out. Not that anything like that has happened in my kitchen. Nope, nosirree.  However, a little bird told me that the key thing to do when something along those lines occurs is to purposely add something crunchy to the recipe.  But I personally have no firsthand knowledge of this.

Bringing children into the kitchen means they need to be protected from themselves, and the most efficient way to do this is with an apron.

Aren’t these adorable? You can’t tell from the picture, but they also have pockets on the front.

And even if your kitchen doesn’t quite escape from the destruction, at least your kids will have an apron-shaped area of cleanliness on their bodies.                 

Do you like cupcakes? I like cupcakes. In fact, I don’t know anybody that doesn’t. Especially kids. Even if they won’t eat the cake part, the icing is always a goner.

Via Serious Eats we learn that school districts across this great land of ours are having our kids “Just Say No.”

Glinda, you ask, what are they saying “no” to? Drugs? Alcohol? My friends, the answer is that they are learning the dangers of a food that is the root of all evil, the cupcake. Sure it looks all sweet and innocent, but lurking beneath that yummy exterior is a lifetime of obesity! Cupcakes are a gateway food, didn’t you know?

It seems that with all the warranted concern over childhood obesity and rising Type II diabetes in children, schools are now looking to ban sweet treats in school. Even for special occasions such as a birthday.

I can see it now, “Boys and girls, it’s Natasha’s birthday, so her mom brought us all brussels sprouts and cabbage!” Can you hear the shouts of joy? I thought not.

I understand that with larger class sizes now being the norm (hey, why not a ban on that?) bringing treats to class for a birthday can result in what seems like many days of sugar-and-butter-fueled parties.

And yet again, we as a nation try to blame the majority of our societal ills on our school system.

I’m here to tell you that a child just does not gain significant amounts of weight from eating birthday cupcakes. Too many video games? Check. Not enough physical activity? Check. A lack of healthy foods consumed at home? Check-o-rama.  A grocery store filled to the brim with foods that have high fructose corn syrup? What do you think?

Now to be honest, I don’t always agree with the good folks in Texas, but they were actually able to pass a “Safe Cupcake Amendment” in the state’s nutritional school guidelines to retain the cupcake’s place in our national birthday psyches. Don’t mess with Texas, and hands off their cupcakes!

Why, why do we keep trying to take things away from our children instead of teaching them proper nutrition and most of all, moderation?  There has got to be a better way to do it, rather than an all-out ban.

But I’m guessing that what the cupcake really needs is a good publicist. It needs to focus on “charity” and being photographed holding a Bible. Hey, it worked for Paris Hilton, didn’t it?

So you can take this guy’s job away from him:

Welcome to the Kalamazoo Shcool District. That’s one helluva accent they got down there!