What a sweet little tyke she was, back in the day. Now she’s rich and (in)famous. Who’s that girl? Your guesses in the comments, please. If you want to totally spoil the surprise, click on the picture and find out the answer.

The lovely reader eilish asks:

Glinda, what do you think of a covert movement to make all boys take proper ballroom dance courses? I think my son might thank me in the long run, but I’m curious what your thoughts are.

Glinda is of the opinion that Culture, with a capital C, is one of the most valuable things that we as parents can help our children become aware of.  Notice the Glinda did not say “like,” but at least some type of exposure is necessary.   Lack of  exposure may or may not lead to a dedication to NASCAR, the fondness for the bonging of the beer, a penchant for greasy trucker hats, or any number of unfortunate things.   Dance, along with art, writing, and music, are some of humanity’s expressions at their finest.   It is important that our children grow up to at least appreciate Culture and recognize its place in our society.

Ahhh, the Glinda can see it now, the handsome son dressed in the classic tuxedo, gliding across the mirror-like dance floor, leading his beautiful partner.  What mother would not love to see her son exuding such grace and elegance as he executes the perfect foxtrot?  ”Dancing With the Stars” is the ratings phenomenon for good reason, is it not?

Almost all women are smitten with a man who can comport himself with reasonable aplomb on the dance floor.  And while we as mothers may be aware of this, it is a difficult concept to convey to the young men in our lives. It seems that grace and elegance are shockingly low on the list of priorities for most boys.  Or perhaps grace and elegance while dodging the linebackers, or running the bases, but nothing that includes wearing shiny shoes with heels seems to count. 

The Glinda thinks that firstly, we should remember that dance, while still being Culture, is technically a sport.  Even if our sons do not see it that way, it is the truth. Dancers are athletes, who train and practice as much as any person with a ball of varying size and a playing field.  One cannot shuffle a few steps of the Electric Slide and call themselves a dancer. Getting the young man to see dance from this point of view may help to ease the resistance, although the Glinda is not betting on it. 

That being said, the Glinda thinks that such a thing as ballroom dancing should be treated as a sport.  Any more than you would force your child to play basketball, you should not necessarily force them to take the ballroom dancing classes.  The Glinda would suggest enrolling your child in a class for one particular style of ballroom dance, for example, the waltz.  And for however many courses it takes to master the basics of the waltz, that would be the commitment from the young person.  Just as if your child were to join a sport, you would have them finish out the season once the commitment was given.

But after that, base future attendance upon the enthusiasm, or lack thereof, of the participant.  The young man may begin by hating his dance lessons with the fire of a thousand white-hot suns.  Eventually, he may begin to like it a little, in spite of himself.  Or, depending on the young man, he may not.  This is where parental wisdom and knowledge of the particular child come into play.  At this point, you the parent can congratulate yourself on the exposure, however brief it may have been, to Culture.

However, as well-intentioned as it may be to try and attempt to forestall a lifetime’s worth of awkward chicken-like dances at weddings and parties, the lessons being given will only be as valuable as the one receiving them allows them to be. 

As the Manolo says, patent leather is one of fall’s hottest trends. These patent leather Mary Janes from Iacovelli are expensive, but so very adorable! I love the heart buckles and embroidered flowers. And talk about attention to detail- they even made the bottom all purty! That way your little darling can leave a path of flowers wherever she treads. At least in theory, anyway. We all know the trail that young children leave behind, and unless they are at a wedding, it is rarely floral in nature.

You’ve probably seen it already, but in case you haven’t:

Click the pic to see it full size. The site doesn’t give credit to the photographer, nor can I find that information anywhere, so if anyone knows who took this shot, please put it in the comments and we’ll link the pic to their site instead. In the meantime, here are a different kind of shadow children.

That baby is as cute as all get-out, but this picture just doesn’t do it for me.  Yes, yes, white is the color of innocence and newness and shininess and all that jazz.  However, this is a bit overdone.

I can hear the sylist muttering to themselves right now, “I will make this picture REEK of innocence.  If they can’t allow the innocence into their cold, black hearts, I will shove it down their throats!”

And really, does anyone care about Trista and whatshisname anymore? 

All right, here I thought I was being all tricky.  Since I mostly hone my tricks on a four year old, apparently I’m going to have to up my game.

The hippo blanket was indeed the more expensive item.  Which surprised me, because the circus blanket was appliqued, had embroidery, and has a satin backing. 

Poor, poor elephants, hardly anybody liked you!

One of the timeless traditions of raising children, in this particular case boys, is the legended “annointing” which often takes place when one attempts to change the wee sprog’s diaper. Indeed, unless one is faster with one’s hands than a Vegas card sharp, one is likely to gain unwanted empathy for the daily life of the humble diaper through warm, damp experience.

Until now.

Ladies and gentlemen, we present perhaps the most awesomest urinary accessory ever in the history of recorded history:

The Pee-Pee Teepee

Changing a baby girl is not all glitz and glory.
Changing a baby boy is an even bigger horror story.
You hold his feet in one hand, and the diaper with the other,
The whole time praying “Please don’t pee on your mother”.

The pee-pee teepee for the sprinkling wee-wee.

All hail The Testosterone Zone for bringing this miracle of technology to our attention. The name of the inventor who came up with this parent-washwater-and-diaper-sparing ecofact is lost in the mists of time, but it should be proclaimed from the highest mountain yea, even unto the lowliest sunken livingroom, for verily, he is a great genius, yo.

One of the hair trends for boys and young men that just won’t go away is long, shaggy hair.  When it first came into vogue, I used to think, I can’t believe their moms are letting them do that!  I mean, they are probably just tired of nagging them about cutting their hair. 

 And then I started thinking, as I had to bribe my son to get his hair cut with the promise of a balloon and lollipop, that maybe they were on to something.