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Teeny Manolo: Celebrating the Joys of Parenting and Childhood - Part 260

Kids love to jump on beds

The cuteness a-bounds!

Stolen from Seismic Twitch
Maybe Bambi would behave better on this?

Farmyard Bedding

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Glinda the Gullible

Old Navy White Shirt

I was clothes shopping for my son not too long ago. They had a promotion going, where if you bought three of the same shirt style, you could get them for $15 or some such deal that was hard to pass up. He really needed shirts for school, and these were perfect.

For some reason, I can never find my son’s size in the colors and styles that I want, and this time was no exception. I had a navy blue and a mustard yellow shirt, but the red was a size too small. They had nothing else.

That’s when I heard it.

“Gliiiindaaaa….”

It seemed to be emanating from the bottom of the shelf. I bent down a bit and said, “Who are you?”

“Gliiiindaaaa, I am the white shirt, forlornly folded along with my ignored brethren. No one will buy me.”

“For good reason,” I snapped. “Don’t you know that I have a five year old? And why are you talking to me like you are a ghost?”

“Weellll… Ahem, you’re right, there is no real reason to talk like a ghost. I just thought, you know, white, ghost… It was a theme. Never mind.”

“Ok, I get it, but you know I can’t buy you. A five year old in a white shirt is just asking for trouble.”

“But Glinda, I match everything. You live in a warm, sunny climate. And, you know that you are pathologically unable to buy two of the same shirt in the same color.”

“Ha! If you know that much about me, then you also know I am pathologically concerned about clean shirts. And I have a better chance at winning the lottery than you staying clean for longer than ten minutes. Tops.”

“One word, Glinda. Bleach.”

“Oh fine. I just know I’m going to regret this.”

And sure enough, today that white shirt became toast. From spilled blueberries, to marker, to dirt, it is now relegated to “at home” wear.

Curse you, white shirt! May you never darken, or uh, whiten my doorstep again!

Maybe I’ll give you another chance when he hits high school. Maybe. But you’ll have to do some pretty sweet talking.

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Breakfast with Scot: junior hockey will never be the same!

As my co-blogger Glinda has remarked elsewhere, Christmas movies tend to bring out the opinionated in everyone, for good or for bad, for richer, for poorer, for That Jimmy Stewart Movie or agin it…you get the picture. Now, from Socialist Canuckistan(I know, it’s like Canadian week around here lately!) comes a new entry into the Classic Christmas Cinema Stakes, one guaranteed to generate either love or loathing: Breakfast with Scot.

Speaking for myself, I think it quite obvious that, as far as superfantasticness, Scot here has it in spades, aces, diamonds and also clubs (once he turns 18 in most of Canada, of course!). And Eric is cute, too, although neither of them exactly fly my airline, if you catch my drift.

I’ll just let MadAboutMovies sum it up for you:

This movie … nails the sometimes exasperating, sometimes rewarding experience of raising kids. Best of all, we get to laugh about the experience while respecting it. Add in the situational comedy arising from two gay parents unprepared to raise a gay – or at the very least, highly effeminate – child and you have a unique perspective setting this movie apart from its genre mates.

Breakfast with Scot’s inner storyline explores identity. Eric, a former NHL hockey player for the Maple Leafs and now a sportscaster, isn’t quite Out and isn’t quite In. He’s also a scrapper, something he doesn’t seem comfortable with, and selfish, something he does seem comfortable with. Against the mirror of a child who’s more comfortable being gay than he is, Eric is forced to decide exactly what kind of a person he wants to be. This storyline is complimented by Scot, the child who knows what he wants to be but not how to act in society…the script is golden with children’s dialog that rings true, characters with depth, and funny moments that are not cruel or demeaning.

In a year that seems starved of seasonally-themed cinematic offerings, this one is worth keeping an eye out for. Those Canucks can’t keep anything to themselves for long!

The Playoffs will be accessorized!

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Friday Caption Contest Winner: Canuck Cowboy Edition

It’s that time we all look forward to, time to announce the winner of the Friday Caption Contest.

Tyrell Benjamin needs to re-think this career choice

Bellamama Says:

 

“Take your kid to work day” wasn’t as much fun as Tyrel thought it would be.

Honorable mention goes to Maddy, with something that’s not so much a caption as it is a whole novel in one paragraph!

Ladies, don’t forget your shoes for the imaginary ceremony!

Rose Sandals

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Monday Teeny Poll

Woman Breastfeeding

Last week’s results regarding public diaper changing were really interesting, with the total so far clocking in at 130 votes.

36% of respondents said that even thought it may not be ideal, a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do.
25% Withheld judgement, saying it depended where they were.  So I’m assuming at a five-star restaurant, not cool. Didn’t Britney do something like that once?
11% said it didn’t matter, there was no time or place that was acceptable.  Better not hang around Britney!
10% Said the opposite, saying it didn’t matter where or when, it was all good.
8% responded that it depended on the age of the child.  I would agree that the diaper of a 3 month old differs greatly from the diaper of a 2 year old.

So this week, we move onto another “in public” question:

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Putting the “gag” in gag gift!

Scared of Santa...and Santa looks scared back!

Ah, Christmas. The holiday season brings with it many delights, many gifts, and many, many opportunities to get back at the ones one loves.

I am reminded, at this holiday season, of a friend of mine who was once a new aunt. Delighted as she was to welcome her first niece into the world, she was naturally looking forward to choosing a lovely gift for the child, something just fabulous and indulgent enough to say “your auntie loves you, and she is doing very, very well.” That is, she was looking forward to it until she received the email from her sister-in-law spelling out in specific, brand-named detail, precisely what she was supposed to give the baby for Christmas.

She turned to me for advice.

The baby ended up with nothing on that list, but with a lovely layette, a sweet sweatsuit, and about 12 different percussive musical instruments, some of which made sounds that were equally as loud as they were obnoxious. The baby loved the gifts, the mother perhaps didn’t, but there you have it.

In any case, the above story has little enough to do with the below item; the sole point of commonality is that sometimes a gift is more than simply a token of affection: sometimes it’s a method of revenge, a comment on one’s upbringing, or a gentle hint that one needs to set one’s bar higher for the behavior of one’s beloved spawn.

We are not talking about the truly misguided gift, the one which bubbles up out of the cauldron of an overloaded, drink-sodden brain at midnight and should be just as quickly snuffed out. These gifts are known, in deference to Peg Bracken, who coined the term, as Let’s Give Grandma a Brace of Falcons gifts. These we shall discuss later, perhaps at length.

No. We are talking about the double-edged gift which simultaneously delights the recipient and delivers one’s pointed message to his/her parents.

We are talking about the Turd Twister.

The Turd Twister

Via Smoke & Mirrors

Order today, and we’ll send you our Turd Twister Kit. The Kit ships with our 10 most popular Turd Twisters. That’s 10 laugh-inspiring, dishwasher-safe Turd Twisters, and that’s just the beginning!

In addition, you’ll get the Amazing Manual called “How to Twist Your Turds”. This booklet, loaded with images explaining the art and science of Turd Twisting, will have everyone rolling on the floor laughing.

Gut-busting topics include:

  • Dietary Concerns for Optimum Results
  • Application Instructions for Maximum Comfort
  • Twisted Knick Knacks for All Occasions
  • Turd Twister Care and Maintenance
  • Hilarious Anecdotes and Stories
  • And much, much more! ( View Samples from Manual)

And as a bonus, by ordering online, we’ll throw in a Safe-T-Floss™ Retraction Cord. Incredibly useful if your Turd Twister gets stuck somewhere it shouldn’t be in the first place.

 

Truly, nothing says “you’ve raised a little troglodyte with neither sensitivity nor manners” like an affordable, non-toxic device which allows said droogie hours of fun shaping its bowel movements into various forms as they are produced. Sure to be a massive hit with the Rate My Poo crowd as well as those who consider Beavis and Butthead to be historic intellectuals along the lines of Socrates and Descartes, the Turd Twister is based along the familiar principles of the much-more-wholesome cookie press. Note the festive “Lucky Clover,” “Birthday” and “Christmas Tree” templates!

Can you say “Mommy and Me” matching gift set? I knew you could!

Cookie Press

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Listmania! Classic Toys

operation.jpg

Have you thought to yourself, while shopping for fake pets that kids can take care of online, or toys that look like they will break after five minutes, “They just don’t make them like they used to?”

Oh, but they do! And you have to figure, there has to be some reason these toys are still around, right?

Well, I am a bit puzzled about the sea monkeys, but here is a list of classic toys you can never go wrong with purchasing.

Operation  The horrid buzzing sound that signaled the death of your dream career in medicine never failed to scare me. And that wish bone, it was always my downfall.

Sea Monkeys Ok, raise your hand if you thought they were really sea monkeys when you were a kid.  Liar.

Magic 8 ball The original, used mostly for answering the truly important questions in life, such as if Johnny liked you as much as you liked him, or if Michelle was still your best friend. 

Slinky Dog Just like the one in Toy Story!  There were rumors that he could be pulled across the length of two rooms, but I’m pretty sure that’s just an urban myth.

Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots In my estrogen-ruled household with my Dad as the only male, this game was something I never actually played with, but my husband got really excited when he found out this was still around. Why do I have the feeling I will be getting familiar with this toy sooner than I realize?

Perfection Even more than Operation, this game with a timer louder than a roaring train put me completely on edge. What other game would literally blow up in your face if you didn’t finish in time? Again, always scared the crap out of me, which was part of the fun.

Radio Flyer Classic Red Wagon Listen, they have all sorts of different incarnations of this original, including one with drink holders. But, for that true retro feeling of knowing you could fall out at any second, nothing but this will do.

Easy Bake Oven Ok, yes, so it’s been recalled. But who could forget the doughy gooeyness of a cupcake “baked” in one of these babies? Ahhh, the wonders a light bulb can do. The model from Amazon does not look to be the same as the recalled model, but apparently it’s caveat emptor.

Barbie The “Reem Acra Bride Barbie” I’ve linked to is a far cry from the Barbie I played with back in 197(cough, cough). It was Barbie, Ken, and Skipper having to make do with a shoebox as their dream house. And of course, I cut off her hair.

Lincoln Logs These are still going strong, and I am amazed that my son loves playing with these just as much as I did.

Legos This toy has evolved to include so many specialty types, from specialized acrylic bricks to yes, an Advent Calendar.

Erector sets Got a builder in the family? If you do, there is no way they can resist the siren call of the 150 Piece Construction Bucket! This toy was invented in 1913, and it is amazing that it is still a favorite almost 100 years later.

Trouble How did our parents ever survive the popping noise that this game constantly produces? But as with most noisy games, a heck of a lot of fun!

TinkerToys For some reason, I don’t remember my parents buying me this toy, but the creations my son can make with it attest to it’s continuing popularity.

oh noes! i r cot!

Lolrus trilogy

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