During the recuperation period from my surgery, I am not ashamed to admit that I read some Young Adult Fiction.

The Hunger Games, to be precise.

I had bought the e-book versions because a) I am a geek, b) I just had to know what all the fuss was about, and c) I was sort of hoping that the Munchkin would be able to read them also.  And any writing that falls into the YA category is vetted by me personally before he gets to read it.  I don’t think he needs to stumble upon some description of two teens having sexual relations at the age of 9.  There will be plenty of that in the years to come, I’m sure.

Uh, OK, I was just really distracted by that last sentence and reminded of my friend who has vowed never to talk to her son about sex.  Ever.  She cannot wrap her mind around the fact that our sons will be hitting puberty sooner rather than later.

Anyhoo, I burned through all three books in about four days, between snoozing sessions.

And now, pathetically, I cannot wait to see the movie.

Yeah, all the 14 year olds and I will be lining up at midnight.

And here I thought I had escaped all that by not reading any of the Twilight books.

1. Be angry.

2. Be momentarily glad that at least she didn’t lock herself in the room.

3. Banish the thought that at least you could have had some alone time if she had.

4. Be upset that she also closed the sliding glass door that you had previously opened and would have allowed access in less than one minute. IF she hadn’t closed it. And locked it, also.

5. Bemoan the fact that you do indeed have to use the bathroom sometimes.

6. Attempt to open door with credit card.

7. Be angry when it doesn’t work.

8. Be angry that you don’t have the key (and in fact, have never had the key to open the lock).

9. Attempt to open door with paper clip.

10.  Be really angry when that doesn’t work either.

11. Call your husband and calmly ask if he has any suggestions, scoff at the idea that waiting until 9pm for him to get home and open it is a good idea. This is specifically because this is the room said toddler needs to fall asleep in at 7pm.

12. Search the whole of the internets for various McGyver-y solutions, all of which fail miserably.

13.  After spending a solid hour and a half trying to unlock the door, give up.

14. Stop being angry because it really isn’t doing you any good.

15. Suddenly realize that there are such things as locksmiths and give one a call.

16. Be momentarily embarrassed that you have to borrow some cash from your nine year old.

17. Not regret spending $65.00 for the locksmith to take two minutes to open your door. Not even for a second.

Last week I asked if you thought a father putting bullets in the laptop of his misbehaving teen was a bit over the top. 40% of you thought it was, but you were still fine with it. 29% thought it was completely wrong, and an equal number of you felt that it was a great idea. I’d have to say that I fall in with the majority on this one.

Today I’m all about your social life.

A high school in Cincinnati, Ohio is basically bribing their students with gift cards to attend school and do so on time.

You know what?  Bribery works.

Any parent will tell you that.  At least, any honest parent.

The thing is, research shows that when you repeat a certain behavior so many times, it actually becomes a habit, rather than something you are forced to do.

Since the school is facing high truancy rates, extremely (almost criminally so)  high dropout rates, and a high poverty rate among their student population, they have my blessing.

So my son wants a television in his room.

Never mind that we only have one television in the whole house. He seems to think that he deserves to have unlimited access to all of his favorite movies.

At least he is smart enough to realize that we would never allow him to have all the cable channels we have on our main TV, and has instead asked for the type of set that has a built-in DVD player. He would have to have a cable box to watch any regular television, and there is no way we are paying for that.

I have to say that part of me is tempted, and then there is another, louder part of me that says no way should a nine year old have a television in their room. Although I know many, many children that are both younger and older than him that do.

I wonder if I am getting soft in my old age. If my toddler is wearing me down so much that a request for a television doesn’t seem totally outlandish.

What say you about kids and televisions in their rooms?

I personally think it is bad enough that he stays up past his bedtime reading books.

I think it would break my heart if he took to watching television instead.

And here are some photos from the ever popular Sh*t My Kids Ruined to prove it…

OK, so I am missing half of an important organ, but I’m back!  No cancer was found and despite the fact that my neck bore an uncanny resemblance to that of Jabba the Hut for a good four days, I’m doing well.

My last poll was about a school’s decision to ban Uggs because students were storing contraband in them, and 38% thought it was a pretty good idea.  33% thought it wasn’t, and 28% felt that there must have been something better to ban.

Today I’m all about bullets in laptops.

Well, at least when it comes to this video of a North Carolina father reacting to his daughter’s Facebook rant about her life.

A 14 pound baby boy was recently delivered naturally and without an epidural in Iowa.

Ouch.

My own baby-chute cringes in sympathy.

Did I really just call it a baby-chute? Impressive what the lack of sleep can do for your vocabulary.

And I didn’t even give birth naturally, but had two C-sections.  Aaaaand, even if I hadn’t had the C-sections, both of my children were roughly half the weight of young Asher.

A good friend of mine had to deliver her second child without an epidural because her labor progressed more quickly than she realized, and she admitted that it was indeed the worst pain imaginable.  That was with a nine pound baby.  Add five more and you’ve got to have some major endorphin rush happening just to stay conscious.