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if raincoaster reproduced

Thursday, September 18th, 2008

It would turn out something like adorable Little Gordon Ramsay here. And people ask me why I don’t have kids!
Part One

Part Two

Part Three


Sunday Buffet Brunch

Sunday, July 25th, 2010

A teensy bit NSFW due to some bad language in the first ten seconds or so…

Allie shares with us her hilarious (yet still sad, especially the pic of her dad on the grass) trauma with getting a bike for her sixth birthday.

Parent Hack: Band-aids as temporary outlet covers.

Want book recommendations for the boy in your life? Guys Read is here to help.

Dolls you DON’T want in your child’s bedroom.

Raincoaster frightens us with Britney’s un-be-weave-able hair.  Sorry…


Ask Glinda- Girly Edition

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010

Raincoaster asks:

Now that you’re a mom of a girl, do you like the same things for her as you liked before you had a real girl? Or has reality changed your tastes?

Reality, it bites.

No, really.

When I had only my son to buy for, to be honest, I never even looked at girl things.  I was too busy being the bitter person over in the corner of the store, wondering why the girls got racks and racks of clothing, while the boys were relegated to a quarter of a wall by the dressing rooms.

But when I did happen to do more than just glance at the girl stuff, I would always seem to zero in on something absolutely adorable, something that made me curse my ovaries and their relative lack of reproductive skill.

Now that I have a girl of my own?  The clothes suck.  Those racks and racks?  All filled with ugly crap.  I can never find the right colors.  And when I do find something that I think might work, they don’t have it in her size.  This very thing happened to me at Baby Gap just a couple of days ago, when I thought I had finally found a nice dress for a professional photo.   Thus, I have vowed to spend as little money on her clothes as possible, at least until they start making some decent things.  Which may or may not happen, and which might end up with her in therapy down the road. 

Scene twenty years from now:

Shrink:  Why do you think your mom never bought you nice clothes?

Munchkinette:  She said it was because she could never find anything decent, but I think it was just because she hates me!  (begins sobbing uncontrollably)

Sigh.

Maybe I should try harder.

 


Sunday Brunch Buffet

Sunday, June 27th, 2010

Raincoaster’s got a naked Anthony Bourdain

How to keep your teens from drinking

People find blogs in the weirdest ways

Chichimama doesn’t really mourn making that last school lunch…

Marketing to kids is scary stuff

It takes a Canadian to say it so eloquently

Candy is tired


Sunday Dinner Links

Sunday, June 13th, 2010

You know, a feverish baby and a sick mom will cause the brunch links to become dinner links… Sigh.

The Consumerist tells of a UK woman selling her breastmilk at $22 for 4 oz. I’m apparently in the wrong business.

I wish my 8th grade dance had been this awesome. Wait, I went to Catholic school.  I never got a dance.

Would you like to Dilly Dally in Pussy Park? I thought so.

Is it ever OK to let your kid quit?

The latest Toddlers n’ Tiaras recap.

Christa doesn’t like this onesie one little bit.

Willow Smith’s outfit? Raincoaster is not a fan.


Sunday Brunch Buffet

Sunday, May 30th, 2010

A little bit of this, a little bit of that…

Librarians do Gaga!

Raincoaster shows us the  proof.  Nowhere is safe.

Porn for a second grader instead of a digital yearbook? Ooops!

Your Mama is confused as to what P-Diddy is being called these days.  Hilarity ensues.

Chocolate isn’t really health food? Say it ain’t so!

Kelley discovers the perfect way to distract people from her bum leg.  Headlights!

How to get your kids to like veggies.  No, really!

Christa tells her story of transitioning babby to the crib.  Enlightening!

Nataly writes a quick appreciation of SAHM’s.  Can world peace be far behind?

Cakes shaped like babies.  Candy is not a fan.


Sunday Brunch Buffet

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

For some lazy Sunday browsing…

The Babbymama (aka Christa) tries to let go of the ick factor that comes with having kids.

Raincoaster schools you on Sir Ian McKellan.

Huggies makes diapers that look like denim. Bad idea.

Parent Hacks tries to make that summer road trip a little more bearable.

Candy breaks the rules by talking about Baby Fight Club.

Open letters to the creators of Lost and Grey’s Anatomy

She’s a Jersey Girl at heart.

This has nothing to do with kids or families, but is totally bizarre and I thought you would like to read it.  Because, you know, I’m weird that way.


Monday Teeny Poll

Monday, April 12th, 2010

sleep

I’m back and running with a new computer featuring quad processor thingamajigs and 8 gigs of whatever, along with a monster of a monitor that can be a television or something of the such. I don’t really know what all of that means, but I was assured that my internet would be faster than a bolt of lightning, and so far, it’s true! My humble thanks must go to The Manolo, and His decision to save my ass and grace Teeny Manolo with His August Presence. And yes, I’m well aware of where I placed the capital letters. Because if The Manolo does not qualify as a deity, then the world is a sad and strange place. I know, I know, it’s actually a bit of a letdown seeing me here instead of Him, and all I can say is, I totally understand.

Eighty percent of you answered last week’s poll showing a fierce devotion to soap and shampoo. A rather measly eight percent said they would try going without soap and/or shampoo, and eleven percent said they would think about it if someone they knew were the guinea pig. I agree with raincoaster’s response, I LOVE soap and shampoo too much to give them up. Doesn’t mean I couldn’t be a bit more natural with the ones I use, but I like the lathering and the scents and all of that stuff. Apparently most of you are in the same boat.

Today I want to know about sleep. Or, lack thereof.










Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
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