By now, I don’t have to explain my feelings about Elmo. If you’ve got wee ones who are fond of the twitching, giggling ginger homunculus, please send them out of the room before playing the following video, where Elmo gets what’s coming to him courtesy of Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Perry Lang, a chef of whom I had never heard but of whom I am now unreasonably fond. “You kill ’em, I grill ’em.” A man after my own heart.
Via SeriouslyOMG
OK, I hate to admit it, but Elmo almost redeems himself after these outtakes.
For many years, my son was only allowed to watch PBS. I love their television shows for kids, and in moderation, they can facilitate all kinds of learning.
The Munchkin was fascinated by Sesame Street from the time he was a toddler. I mean, what child doesn’t like the concept of people and multi-colored puppets living in harmony in New York City? He especially loved the Cookie Monster, who has tragically been cheated out of valuable screen time and only given a segment on the letter of the day. Occasionally he would be in an extra song or sketch, but Cookie Monster sightings outside the letter of the day segment were rare. He also really liked Grover, but Grover is hardly ever on Sesame Street any more. This made the Munchkin sad.
For some reason, Sesame Street has somehow evolved into something that should be called “The Elmo Show.” Just give him his own spinoff or something, would ya? I don’t know who decided that Elmo should be the new face of Sesame Street, but he is a poor substitute for the articulate, introspective Kermit the Frog. Elmo is in almost all of the opening sketches, and of course, there is the scourge known as “Elmo’s World.”
To endure the fifteen straight minutes of high-pitched, Yoda-like pidgin-speak that emanates from Elmo was too much for my son to bear. At first, he would watch as far as Mr. Noodle. The old Mr. Noodle, by the way, not the new one. And certainly not the disaster that was that one woman who was supposed to be their sister or something. Anyhoo, after a while, even Elmo’s interactions with Mr. Noodle were too grating, and as soon as “Elmo’s World” came on, he would do something else or turn the television off. “I hate Elmo!” my son would cry in exasperation.
What can I say? The kid’s got good taste.
Is THIS what it takes to shut up that nattering, twitching little homunculus? All I know is, having that dreamy Andrea Bocelli singing to me would definitely not result in my immediate loss of consciousness.
Unless I faint, that is.
Andrea Bocelli sings Elmo to sleep, via Hummingbird604
Our evil nemesis Elmo has inspired our captioneers with his unique brand of debauchery and sadism, so naturally it was a dirty battle for the top spot, but we have a winner!
Bellamama Says:
September 7th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Though he originally claimed it was a simple translation error, investigators have now revealed that Elmo signed a multi-million dollar contract with the hand soap companies in Japan.
Congratulations, imaginary swag, and effective sanitation to Bellamama! What shall we present as our virtual prize? I think this occasion calls for something a little different. Something powerful, yet feminine. Something irresistable. Something Prada
:
Oh, I should have expected this. So many stars, even those who are well-behaved at home, go a bit crazy once they get overseas. And we have heard ALL about Elmo!
Happy 39th anniversary to Sesame Street, but why did they decide to have an open bar? Everyone knows what happens at those kinds of office parties.
Handsy little devil, ain’t he?
Such dedication! Such self-sacrifice! From the first moment the world first noticed this dapper gent, desperately clinging to a palm tree as Nature herself tried to wipe him off the face of the planet, the world has been in love with Anderson Cooper’s quiet charm and understated courage.
But now, he faces the most frightening fate yet, right there in the Friday Caption Contest. And it’s time to announce who nailed it (I hope they nailed it down well; jealous meteorological forces are massing!).
Jennie Says:
May 30th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
We agreed that since California had finally legalized same sex unions, that we would come out and defend our right to muppet marriges. I love him so….
Shocking, yet true. At least his mother is not alive to witness him marrying so far below his station; Elmo’s reputation rivals that of Britney Spears at this point, and we can only hope that since Coop has made an honest muppet of him that his personal life will turn a corner.
But we have not much hope, it must be admitted. KFed on line one…
Enough! It is time to award the coveted hypothetical trophy of the virtual riches to the honorary winner, and here it is, something superfantasatic and sexy enough to keep the spirit of YSL alive and gladden the hearts of all in these dark days…
I always thought he’d save himself for me, you know. But enough of that…to the prize (and then to the merlot)!
