Anyone who’s ever grocery shopped with more than a handful of young ‘uns along for the ride knows what it is to wrangle cats. Cats on crack. They all have ten times more energy than you do, they all know exactly what they want to do and where they want to go, and they all want to go, at top speed, to the parts of the store that are farthest from any of the other youthful sprogs you may have brought along. It’s like someone paid them to demonstrate the laws of thermodynamics.

Naturally, as harnessing the lot to your grocery cart a la stagecoach horses may be frowned on in some communities, we must seek for our readers a better solution.

Although that one is mighty funny.

Instead, we recommend this ingenious grocery game suggested by Lori Dee on the positively delightful Parenting Snark thread on the Perfect World Board.

As I used items up at home I’d save labels of commonly used things such as peanut butter, canned beans, etc. I’d even cut the front off of boxes or save the bag of say, rice or oatmeal. Also, ad circulars.

You keep this stuff in a small canvas bag and you give one to the children as you approach that section and ask them to find it. When they find it, they can help put it in the cart.

This is awesome, although it doesn’t work as well at home. No matter how detailed my sketches of a Martini, all I ever get is Evian with an olive.

Normally we here at the TeenyManolo are so not about the Hallmark Holidays, but this is one we can all get behind (properly garbed in Play-Doh handler’s uniform of Hazmat suit, latex gloves, drop cloths, and a fine coating of baby powder).

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is National Play-Doh Day. I think you already know how to celebrate it, don’t you?

Play-doh was created in 1955 by Joseph McVicker of Kutol Chemicals in Cincinnati, Ohio. It hit the market in 1956, and has been a popular play toy ever since. It was created because McVicker’s sister-in-law wanted a safe, clay-like product for her nursery school children to use. Noah and Joseph McVicker received U.S. Patent No. 3,167,440 for Play-Doh.

Hasbro Toys, the current makers of Play-doh, say it a little differently. From their website, they state: “The story of PLAY-DOH modeling compound begins in 1956 when scientists at Rainbow Crafts, a Cincinnati soap and cleaning compound company, stumbled upon a new use for the unique dough-like cleaning product. The company realized this product’s potential as a child’s modeling compound; and thus, the original, reusable PLAY-DOH compound was born.”

Speaking of food, I think one of the most important skills you can teach your child is how to cook for themselves.

When your kid is finally able to move out of the house, is it your wish that they subsist solely on EasyMac and frozen burritos? And when they really feel like living it up, some bagel bites?

If not, then you have to bring them into the kitchen. Make no mistake, it is messy. Flour will be spilled all over the counters and the floor. Eggshell pieces will undoubtedly fall into the bowl due to overenthusiastic cracking, necessitating patience and a spoon to fish them out. Not that anything like that has happened in my kitchen. Nope, nosirree.  However, a little bird told me that the key thing to do when something along those lines occurs is to purposely add something crunchy to the recipe.  But I personally have no firsthand knowledge of this.

Bringing children into the kitchen means they need to be protected from themselves, and the most efficient way to do this is with an apron.

Aren’t these adorable? You can’t tell from the picture, but they also have pockets on the front.

And even if your kitchen doesn’t quite escape from the destruction, at least your kids will have an apron-shaped area of cleanliness on their bodies.                 

Summer weekends are increasingly rare occurrences, and not to be taken lightly. Truly, there are only a couple left before everyone starts wearing pumpkin-adorned Shetland sweaters and olive cords and talking about snowshoes. It is strongly to be hoped that you have prepared adequately for two days in the uninterrupted company of those you love or to whom you are irrevocably related. The scenario is fraught with pitfalls, and as more than one wise man has noted, in such unpredictable situations it’s best to learn from the mistakes of others, for lo, ye shall never live long enough to make them all yourself, right?

Right.

So, what do we here at TeenyManolo recommend for your basic Lazy Sunday?

We suggest going old-skool.

Summer weekends are exactly those periods of time when it’s best to fall back on things your grandparents would have found delightful, when they were about four. This is both cheaper and easier than flying to Paris for a shopping spree, scaling Everest to “show those snotty Scouts,” or renting a theme park for Timmy-Billy-Bob’s birthday party.

Old-skool summer weekend activities include:

• camping; yes, even in the backyard, but it only counts if you make s’mores and tell at least one ghost story
• playing pleasantly dopey games like charades, hangman, Life or anything using the Pop-O-Matic
• making and/or consuming lemonade and sun tea
• lemonade stands (particularly lucrative if you live near a bike path; raincoaster is generally good for buying five rounds)
• the zoo
• pony rides/hay rides
• making popcorn the old-fashioned way, whether or not you use the magically enchanted brand that poufs into a silvery turban (but come on: why wouldn’t you?)
• reading to each other, particularly kids to parents, for lo, kids always think you’re reading crap and have better stuff they could show you, if they thought you wanted to know
• cooking together. NOT reheating together
• pointless wandering around, either in a car or human-powered (bikes, skates, or pedestrianization).

Things to avoid:

• anything one of you has done before and knows s/he actively hates
• anything mildly pleasant that you do in a typical weekday anyway. A weekend is a moderately special occasion, and kids deserve to have fun on special occasions. And so do adults
• anything demanding batteries or extension cords
• anything chosen primarily for its photo possibilities. What good are memorable pictures of forgettable experiences?

And now we will leave you with the image that most perfectly sums up the perfect weekend afternoon with the wee ones, stolen from wanderlust, via Bridlepath.