Teeny Manolo

Having already examined the pros of having an only child, now comes the flip side.

1. There is no opportunity to learn that toys are community property.
2. Mommy is supposed to be available to play with on demand.
3. They think the entire world revolves around them.
4. They will never have a sibling to commiserate with about how much their parents suck.
5. Only one wedding! Or should that be a pro?
6. Things should be done their way, which is the only way, and the right way, of course.
7. Possibly a bit too much exposure to adult conversations.
8. No convenient target to torment. Except maybe Mom.
9. I’ll never have a built-in babysitter.
10. No bunkbed necessary. I kind of like bunkbeds.

Click HERE to enter our stylin’ Stila giveaway!

Listen, there are not many entries in the contest, so all the people entered have a VERY good chance of winning!

Ahhhh, summertime! To me, summer is synonymous with sun, sand, and water.  Or even two out of those three. Here are some things to help you enjoy whatever combination you find yourself in.

Sunday Afternoon’s Kid’s Bucket Hat UPF 50I own this hat (in tan, no flowers over here!) and I have to say it is fabulous. The brim is very wide, and actually covers the back of the Munchkin’s neck. It is washable, crushable, lightweight, and has those all-important ventilation holes.

Kettler Digger on Wheels Dual Action Lever Digger Yes, it’s a wee bit pricey, but this is too cool.

Castle Bucket Set This is a nice, basic, fairly cheap set. Great for babies and toddlers, and I guarantee that watering can will be a big hit.

Complete Sand & Water Beach Play Set And here we have the “on steroids” version to the one above.

Sunny Striped Tri-fold Beach Mat A cute and roomy straw beach mat that when folded up, doubles as a tote! The price is definitely right on this one. One for me, please!

Large Lighthouse Zip Top Tote Take it from someone who has lived near the beach her whole life, the right bag makes all the difference. Waterproof nylon, smaller mesh pockets inside, and a zip top are what you need.

Rainbow Beach Umbrella with Carry Bag This giant 8 foot umbrella is a must so that everyone will fit under it! Good thing it comes with a carrying bag, because that is one big umbrella! And, due to its sheer bodacity, it is recommended that you get an anchor for it as well.

Santa Cruz Large Insulated Cooler Tote  Forget the bulky and difficult-to-lug from the parking lot hard sided coolers.  I like the bag ones because I can stuff more into them than the square ones.

Me Talk Pretty One Day  Yes, it is an old book.  But, it is perfect for beach reading with its little vignettes so that you don’t have to worry about losing the “plot,” and is truly one of the funniest books I have ever read.

Ahhhhh Viggo, art thou unconquerable? The likes of Clive Owen, Jon Bon Jovi, Denzel Washington, and Laird Hamilton have fallen to those icy blue eyes.

Is there no one who can beat you?

Here’s model extraordinaire Tyson Beckford giving it his best shot. And really, it’s a very good shot. I mean, have you seen him without a shirt?

vs.

Where I live, summer is very much here already, even though technically it doesn’t arrive until the end of the month. What does that mean? It means really sunny, pretty hot, and awfully dry. It also means that I change my beauty routine.

Well, change meaning I try not to wear a whole lot of makeup, because I will just sweat it all off by the end of the day. But, the one thing that I cling onto like a liferaft is lipcolor. I just feel naked without lipcolor of some kind. In the summer, I am usually on the go and don’t feel like messing with a tube of heavy lipstick, and I am not a huge fan of lipgloss.

There is, however, a very happy medium in Stila’s Clear Color Moisturizing Lip Tint. It is a nice sheer wash of color, and I think it would actually be hard to go wrong with any of the shades because the color is so sheer.  But not so that it looks like you don’t have anything on, because what would be the point? It lasts a surprisingly long time for something so light. I use coral, the shade featured below. I realize the color looks a bit alarming, but it looks nothing like that on your lips.

Better than the Burt’s Bees Lip Shimmer in my opinion, (although I have to admit it is hard to beat Burt’s on the price) Stila’s Clear Color is very creamy yet not heavy feeling on the lips. It is very slim and fits anywhere, has SPF 8, aaaaaand smells like marshmallows. Mmmmmm, marshmallows….

Stila’s Clear Color Moisturizing Lip Tint

And it shall be proclaimed that “Yeah!” and “Hell yeah!” are the overwhelming cries when asked if a third grader is too young to dye their hair. A goodly thirty-one percent weighed in that temporary dye was fine, but not permanent dye. You have to laugh at the dilemmas of modern parenting, really. Or else find oneself curled up in a corner, sobbing uncontrollably.

Today I’m going to bring up the subject of gender in education. Some experts and schools are advocating the separation of boys and girls in the classroom. Usually for certain classes such as P.E. and English, but sometimes for the entire school day. There is no doubt that taken as a whole, boys have a different learning style than girls. Which is neither good or bad. But is it a good idea?

Last week’s question about becoming a surrogate mother was split fifty-fifty between those that would absolutely not, and those that might, under the right circumstances. I think that I would seriously think about it, but no one in their right mind would choose me, because of my health and pregnancy history. Which is pretty much why I only have one child. I think I might have to pay someone else instead of the other way around.

Today, I want to know all about hair coloring. Specifically, boys coloring their hair. A friend of a friend (really!) allowed her son to dye his hair black. Oh, well, teenagers are teenagers, you might be thinking. If that is how he wanted to rebel, then bless his little heart. Except, this young man is only in third grade, and it wasn’t temporary hair color either.

This was a contentious one. There was, naturally, unanimity in the TeenyManolosphere on the unattractiveness and inappropriateness of these outfits, but I, personally, was shocked by the fact that no-one singled that ridonkulous hat out for particular ridicule. Honestly, that poor girl looks like Gumby! No, not the one you’re thinking of: that one looks like a gay Huggy Bear.

In any case, it’s time to announce the winner of the most hotly-contested caption contest since the Junior Justice League:

pomme Says:
May 11th, 2008 at 2:14 pm

Delurking to suggest:
“Honey, I Shrunk the Pussycat Dolls”

And the virtual rewards of de-lurking are both hypothetical and fabulous: the eye-catching, yet tasteful Nahui Ollin New Ritual Tote.

Rely on the Daily Martini to come across with three different, all tasty, recipes for a Mothers Day Martini! The Blushing Lady, the White Lady, and the Pink Lady (although my own Pink Lady recipe differs somewhat, but is tasty as well). The most important thing is that someone else mix it, very strong, and they bring it to you in bed.

Me likey! But I’ve got a bit of working out to do before I rock the skintight catsuit or the lead role in a $85,000,000 stinker. While I root around my pad for that personal trainer I misplaced, you can enjoy this selection of the week’s finest posts from around the Parentosphere:

Man Babies (ManBabies)

Banksy Unmasked? No superhero is sacred! (Gawker)

The fine art of grocery criticism (Defamisher)

File under That’s Just Wrong: Wine in a baby bottle (Gastrokid)

Thank you, Mommy (ExtraordinaryMommy)

The Great Truths, according to kids and parents (Fracas)

Cloned mare gives birth (Bridlepath)

Don’t call me Mommy! (WorkItMom)

You know you’re addicted to blogging when… (MagnetoBoldToo)

Celebrity moms speak out on motherhood (CelebrityBabyScoop)

What this world needs is fridge-based sex meters (TrueDadConfessions)

Dear “friend” (TrueMomConfessions)

Ninjas are everywhere! (TheBloggess)

Quick, easy money (GoodMom/BadMom)

It’s only May and already the always hotly-contested Mother of the Year award is reaching temperatures approaching that of the heart of the sun. Don’t let Dina Lohan’s recent winning of Long Island’s MotY prize fool you: only on Lawn Gyland does the year end in May, and besides, as someone on Defamer pointed out, her competition was who, exactly? Amy Fisher’s mom.

Quite.

But I think our intrepid reportorial friends at the Guardian have come up with the one to beat. Yes, in Lucie Ceccaldi, mother of French literary bad boy Michel Houellebecq, we have our Brutus, our Secretariat, our Muhammad Ali, and possibly even our AntiChrist all rolled up in one wizened, bitter, 83-year-old bundle of patchouli-scented, tie-dyed 100% pure hatred.

Let’s listen in on some of her thoughts on parenting. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride:

She calls her son an “evil, stupid little bastard” adding that “this individual, who alas came from my womb, is a liar, an imposter, a parasite and above all - above all - a petit arriviste ready to do absolutely anything for money and fame…If he is unfortunate enough to use my name in something again, I’ll cane him round the face, that’ll knock his teeth out, that’s for sure.”

“If it hadn’t been my son, I wouldn’t read that kind of crap, I would put it down straight away, because if there’s one thing I detest in the world it’s pornography. That book is pure pornography, it’s repugnant, it’s crap. I don’t understand its success at all, that just shows the decadance of France.” In her own book, she speculates that he writes about sex because he doesn’t get enough. “What’s this moronic literature?! Houellebecq is someone who’s never done anything, who’s never really desired anything, who never wanted to look at others. And that arrogance of taking yourself as superior … Stupid little bastard. Yes, Houellebecq’s a stupid little bastard, whether he’s my son or not.”Does she believe in mother love? “Western women get on my nerves with their mother love.”

Do you love your son? “Yes, of course I love my son. If he dropped dead, I’d be profoundly hurt, definitively, but I wouldn’t complain in newspapers and write a book about it.”

On her son’s relationships with women she says: “Above all he loves money, and women have always kept him - first, me, and then his good wives. The second one I never met, and I don’t know the others who came after her.”

I mention that he lives in Ireland. “Does he? If he was less of a stupid bastard, I’d go and see him.”

Charmant.