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Patent Leather for the Fall

Iacovelli Brown/Rose Patent

As the Manolo says, patent leather is one of fall’s hottest trends. These patent leather Mary Janes from Iacovelli are expensive, but so very adorable! I love the heart buckles and embroidered flowers. And talk about attention to detail- they even made the bottom all purty! That way your little darling can leave a path of flowers wherever she treads. At least in theory, anyway. We all know the trail that young children leave behind, and unless they are at a wedding, it is rarely floral in nature.

Iacovelli Patents

Bop-Bop

Developing an appreciation for Nine Inch Nails before you’ve even outgrown the car seat? This kid is shockingly precocious, and no doubt destined to intimidate entire classrooms with his effortless cool!

As the YouTube commenter said, I just hope nobody catches him singing the words to Closer on the playground!

My Son’s Future Wife Will Thank Me

Speaking of food, I think one of the most important skills you can teach your child is how to cook for themselves.

When your kid is finally able to move out of the house, is it your wish that they subsist solely on EasyMac and frozen burritos? And when they really feel like living it up, some bagel bites?

If not, then you have to bring them into the kitchen. Make no mistake, it is messy. Flour will be spilled all over the counters and the floor. Eggshell pieces will undoubtedly fall into the bowl due to overenthusiastic cracking, necessitating patience and a spoon to fish them out. Not that anything like that has happened in my kitchen. Nope, nosirree.  However, a little bird told me that the key thing to do when something along those lines occurs is to purposely add something crunchy to the recipe.  But I personally have no firsthand knowledge of this.

Bringing children into the kitchen means they need to be protected from themselves, and the most efficient way to do this is with an apron.

Aren’t these adorable? You can’t tell from the picture, but they also have pockets on the front.

  Planes, Trains and Transportation                     apron.jpg

And even if your kitchen doesn’t quite escape from the destruction, at least your kids will have an apron-shaped area of cleanliness on their bodies.                 

 

The Unicorn Chaser

Our own version of BoingBoing’s patented Unicorn Chaser.

We’ve had some complaints about the post below this (and it is indeed strong stuff if you came here looking for tips on back to school shopping), so we are offering, in lieu of smelling salts, recourse to our #1 favorite mindwash of all time: the ever-popular, mindless, yet irresistible force of nature that is We Like tha Moon, by the Spongmonkeys (and no, that’s not a spelling mistake). This is so strange, yet so cute in a Terry Gilliam Was My Babysitter kind of way, that it gets both the “That’s Just Wrong” tag and the “The Cuteness Abounds” tag.

Toddlers like this song even better than stoners do. Not that I know any stoners. Oh, perish the thought!

And lookie: here’s the lyrics.

We like the moon
coz it is close to us.
We like the MOOOOOON!
But not as much as a spoon
coz that’s more use for eating soup
and a fork isn’t very useful for that
unless it has got many vegetables
and then you might be better off with a chopstick.
Unlike the moon
It is up in the sky
It’s up there very high
but not as high as maybe dirigibles or zeppelins
or lightbulbs
and maybe clouds
and puffins also I think maybe they go quite high too
maybe not as high as the moon.
Coz the moon is very high.
We like tha moon
Tha moon is very useful everyone.
Everybody like the moon.
Because it light up the sky as night and it lovely and it make the tide go
and we like it
but not as much as cheese.
We really like cheese
we like zeppelins
We really like them
and we like kelp
and we like moose
and we like deer
and we like marmots
and we like all the fluffy animals.
We really like tha moon.

Airport A Go-Go

McClaren Stroller

I had always marveled at Mariska Hargitay’s cheekbones, and then when I found out her mother was Jayne Mansfield, it all made sense.

And look at her son, so cute with his blankie!

They are sensibly pushing him around in a McClaren Quest Sport stroller. Mariska has excellent taste, because this is exactly the same stroller I bought for my son when we were ready to move him out of his infant system. She joins Gwen Stefani and Sarah Jessica Parker in sharing my stroller preference. I am such the trendsetter, I know!

I can’t say too many good things about this stroller. It is an umbrella stroller with heft, but not added weight. It has an all aluminum frame construction so it won’t fall apart in a year, and which makes it easy to push around without feeling like you are trying to steer a bus. It turns on a dime, and it is very comfortable for the young ones. It folds up very compactly and have I said already that it weighs practically nothing? I have been known to lug it around by the shoulder strap. With no complaint. At Disneyland no less! And I think I only clipped maybe one or two people with it. Because they weren’t paying attention, of course.

Also, my husband loves it because he is 6’2′ and McClaren strollers were the only ones that made the handles high enough for him to be comfortable pushing it instead of having to walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Trust me, he has never been able to use that excuse to not push the stroller.

And speaking of husbands, Mariska’s is sporting some pretty fierce loafers!

Rockin’ the Glasses

Angelina and sons

I need to focus on some children other than my own right now.  Especially since mine just spilled his drink all over his father’s library book   And so I give you Maddox and Pax Jolie-Pitt.  I never realized, but I wonder if they purposely named them both so their names ended in x?  I know, I have way too much time on my hands.

This picture is what life is all about.  This is exactly the kind of super fantastic-ness that the Manolo alluded to in his introductory post.  When the world becomes a place where a kid can’t parade around in silly glasses, then that’s a world I don’t want to live in anymore.

And, how much do I love Maddox and his bad self?  Pax is a cutie as well, although I think that with all the hauling around of children that Angelina does, methinks she has no need for the gym.

the cure for the baby birk

BirksWe are agreed, are we not, that however comfortable they may be, Baby Birkenstocks are no more aesthetically pleasing than the adult version? They’re also significantly less fun than typical children’s shoes as well, looking very much like what your stern Germanic podiatrist forces you to wear to correct the problems that surfaced after thirty years on a chorus line.

We are further agreed, I’m sure, that babies and toddlers have the right to comfortable shoes that help their little feets grow straight or curvy in the ways and places that Nature intended, and that such shoes shouldn’t cost a fortune.

Check out poor little Suri Cruise here. She may be smiling on the outside, but you just gotta know that she’s crying on the inside, and no wonder; those shoes belong on the feet of a Thirteenth Century Flemish serf. We at TeenyManolo have scoured the Internet (really, it’s sparkling!) and come up with an attractive, supportive and practical shoe that even a podiatrist’s overprotective mother would love:
the Papush walking shoe:

the Papush

And Francesca at ManoloBig has found the Stride Rite Marissa, a shoe that’s also comfy and supportive, but is as pretty as a pink unicorn as well.

Zappos floral toddler shoes

Drop the Baby: Celebrity Moms Edition

Honestly, once you’ve done the vag flash, where do you go from there when you’re looking to drive the fans wild? How to ramp up the publicity machine? Well, these two celebrity moms know exactly how: you put on your best pair of nosebleed heels and play Drop the Baby!

First onto the field was highly experienced paparazzi-inciter Britney Spears.

Britney Spears drops the baby

Wearing bottoms (that’s a technical fashion blogger term) that (for once) were too long, with what appear to be either platform flip flops or peep-toe stripper heels, she left the Ritz Carleton in New York and promptly did a prat-curtsey when her shoes caught in the trailing jeans. Ah, leaving the Ritz; more than one celebrity mom has left, only to encounter tragedy. My suggestion is the same as Glen Frey‘s: if you’re a celebrity mom you can check out, but for god’s sake, never leave!

Britney gets extra points for being pregnant at the time and managing, despite the no doubt unbalancing effect of playing snap the whip with her toddler’s head, not to let go of her drink. That, ladies and gentlemen, is a professional in action. Yes, she was carrying both the apparently indestructable Sean Preston Does-Daddy-Still-Have-Custody-Of-The-Surname? and a rocks glass of mysterious clear liquid, which she was careful not to spill. The bodyguards steadied the baby.

Britney’s shoes of deathBritney: frazzled bottle blonde ponytail, smeared eyeliner, black bra, white eyelet babydoll top, low-slung, far-too-long jeans, hooker/trailer park shoes. Something on the rocks. Look: trailer trash, y’all!
Sean Preston Whatever: slightly greyed white overalls, striped Mork&Mindy socks, eye-ripping orange hat that flew off, no shirt, no shoes. Look: redneck, y’all.

Seriously, an awesome performance by a real pro.

Now let us turn to this past weekend’s performance by relative newcomer Katie Holmes/Kate Cruise/Stepford Wife #3.

Katie Holmes trips

Katie earns points for staging the baby drop on a rainy Parisian sidewalk, which makes a much prettier backdrop than a hotel parking lot. She loses points because she saved the baby and hit the pavement herself, bloodying her knee rather than say, tossing the baby to the help, steadying herself, and attempting to chug the pink blankie.

Katie Holmes trips: the shoesThen again, those are hideous shoes; girl deserved to go down.

Katie: perfect makeup, this year’s Posh haircut, olive trench, invisible dress (the Barbara Amiel look), high double-strap pumps that, it must be admitted, do have pretty heels even if they’re the colour of oxbarf. They don’t even look good when Peter Fox does them. Yes, they make your feet look shorter. They make the rest of you look shorter, too, when you’re kneeling on the sidewalk because you fell over. Look: 2007 meets 1927

Suri ShoesSuri: adorable, classic dress, immaculate and cosy white cardigan, cute variation of the baby pageboy, hideous Baby Birkenstocks with massive straps that could hitch a Clydesdale to a beer wagon. Does Katie have restraint issues, par chance? Look: BCBGeekChic.

Verdict: round goes to Spears, y’all. Cheers!
May a humble blogger suggest that, should celebrity or other moms wish to avoid being featured in future Drop the Baby posts, when they are carrying something as precious as these two babies, they A) put the damn drink down and B) choose footwear more like what these relatively sensible toddlers are wearing, and less like a truck stop honey or an extra in Bugsy Malone?

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