You’ll recall Matt, our dashing young model for last Friday’s caption contest (pic heartlessly stolen from his mother’s site, BellowToYou). It’s time to announce the winner for this week.

Ya know, every week I say, “Best round yet” and every damn week it’s true. This resulted in yet another string of gold in the comments; obviously estrogen and wit are inextricably entwined, but then, we knew that, didn’t we?

The winnah:

Steph Says:
November 9th, 2007 at 9:18 pm

The Subway diet really works!

Kudos (whatever they are) to our winner Steph; don’t spend them all in one place, sistah!

Nothing like a good, old-fashioned picket line. Fun for the whole family!

That’ll teach them to push the writer’s union; the pickets are far wittier than anything the corporations’ lawyers can fire back with.

You know how it works, so work it in the comments section. For fame, for glory, for Spartaaaaaa!

Picture heartlessly stolen from BellowToYou

If you want a portion of your munchkin’s modeling porfolio featured in the Friday Caption Contest, just email it to raincoaster at gmail dot com and the image, with appropriate linkage,will be given a spot in our highly-competitive posting queue.

For some reason, this picture is greatly reassuring.

Because even mega-millionaire movie stars like Tom and Katie Cruise have to carry around sippy cups, the blankie, pair of shoes their toddler threw off in a fit of pique, and the de rigueur cup o’ puffed snack.

via CelebrityBabyScoop
You’ve heard about child labour laws, and (maybe with the exception of how they apply to the babysitting and lawnmowing industries) you support them. We are as of one mind in this. But how, then, are we to feel when multi-millionairess Gwendolyn Stefani-Rossdale avails herself of some underage Kingston power during a (not inexpensive to attend) concert? I say we take action now, lest future performances by, say, the Rolling Stones, be marred by the brutal exploitation of their, uh, great-grandchildren or something.

God knows, you don’t want anyone to be in a moment’s doubt about whether or not you’re a parent. You find, perhaps, that excusing yourself from meetings to “go potty” or using a diaper bag as your overnight bag at the conference isn’t enough. You need more. You want to REEK of parenthood.

Demeter, ancient Greek goddess of Springtime, the Earth, a bountiful harvest, and social engineering (? yes, really) has heard your cries. She has brought forth from her hidden cavern gifts of Play-Doh, BabyPowder, Crayon, and even the controversial Glue.

You’ll remember our tough contest round from last week, another high water mark in the annals of TeenyWitticisms.

Now it’s time to announce the proud winner, to call her forth from obscurity and crown her in front of the multitudes who will cheer and shower her with reality show contracts. Congratulations and adulations to our winner for this week:

fracas Says:
November 4th, 2007 at 2:46 am

“Size isn’t everything”

Here, for your delectation, is a brief video of a youthful ballet class, crunking out to Soulja Boy’s “Crank Dat Soulja Boy.” If I tried to bust these moves, I’d bust something for sure.

via JustJared