How many Barbie-related posts have there been by that title? Surely they number in the thousands, for Barbara Millicent Rogers is the most famous doll the world has ever seen, and in a world of implants and lipo, Ken Paves extensions and MAC cosmetics, what’s historically understood to be the Barbie look is more attainable than ever before.

For good or ill.

But on the Good side of the equation, we grown women can now purchase actual clothes inspired by Barbie and – wait, wait, come back YOU HAVE TO SEE THESE! – they’re actually quite lovely.

For Barbie’s 50th birthday, Mattel commissioned some of the top designers in the world to make Barbie-inspired outfits: Past Barbie, Present Barbie, or Future Barbie, and these, shown Saturday at New York Fashion Week, were the result. Yes, Barbie finally had a full-on fashion show, complete with swag bag. Despite the sneers of a few hardened cynics, the collection was generally well-received.

All photos by my homeboy Kris Krug of Static Photography.

Past Barbie had some snappy, sexy outfits in the Marilyn Monroe vein:

Lyn Devon for Barbie. Past Barbie rocked the Black and White hard!

I don’t know who designed this one but I WANT it!

A classic Barbie look, and one I could really use for this Thursday. Hmmmm…

Not sure if this is Past or Present Barbie, but it’s very reminiscent of early Bruce Oldfield, before he hooked up with Princess Diana and became all about the bling. I’d wear this every damn day if I could afford the cleaning bill, and that goes DOUBLE for the hat.

Moving into Present Barbie era, the colours are softer and there’s enough pink to satisfy even Carey Hart. Am I just old-fashioned, or are the clothes less wearable? Because I do indeed wear a lot of cocktail dresses, but I prefer the kind that stay closed until you decide to open them and whose hems don’t come infused with antigravity devices.

Juicy Couture, but you could probably tell without reading. This girl has to be the Barbiest Barbie in the entire show, and the hair and makeup are perfect. But…is she wearing stencilled socks with open-toed pumps? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, I don’t think even a Betsey Johnson Barbie would wear those!

ThreeAsFour, and easily an eight in my book. The Big Hair is just Too Big, of course, but I might dig out the mousse and see what I can do in the way of a modified Barbie Do. What else am I gonna do with it, use it as improvised weather stripping?

Kenneth Cole did Ken (so to speak). If black tie with jeans is wrong, I don’t want to be right!

Future Barbie needs a blue eyeshadow intervention, but the clothes were imaginative, sexy and generally wearable, if you happen to be an ageless plastic doll whose life is a cross between a Monte Carlo cabaret and a Malibu beach party.

You can just tell, she’s the fiercest bitch in the square dancing club.

Bob Mackie. Of course! I love this, it’s just so completely Cher Starring As Crazy Horse Stripper Barbie.

And last but not least, the finale, in which each model re-emerged, holding the hand of a little girl wearing a Barbie t-shirt and a coloured tutu, while heart-shaped confetti fell from the ceiling and digital fireworks went off in the background.

Barbie Fashion Show Finale – New York Fashion Week – nitrolicious.com from nitrolicious.com on Vimeo.

Longtime BoingBoing readers (and we know you’re out there, rocking the monitor tan and Threadless t-shirt look when you think nobody is looking)  will be familiar with the concept of the Unicorn Chaser, a cloyingly adorable picture of a unicorn, often posted after something so horrible that readers have cried out in anguish at the sheer psychic pain of realizing such things could be.

This is something so horrible that readers have cried out in anguish at the sheer psychic pain of realizing such things could be.

This is a unicorn chaser.

And this is a unicorn chaser you can apply any time, any where, to any site on the web: Cornify instantly adds unicorns, rainbows, and/or glitter to the revolting website of your choice. Add the code to your own blog, put the button in your browser bar, or just click below to lay one on ol’ TeenyManolo.

Cornify. It makes the bleak tundra of the rest of your sentence on this obscure, doomed planet just a little bit more bearable.

It’s a tough quandary: what to give to celebrate the birth of a newly-hatched nerd or nerdlette? Nothing old-fashioned like a ball or a stuffed animal that actually looks like, you know, an animal, obviously. Their parents wouldn’t know how to use it. Nothing cutting-edge either, because you mere civilian could never be expected to know about the pure unadulterated and Wil Wheaton-endorsed awesomesauce that is whatever is the latest thing on Gizmodo.

So you try to play it safe. You split the difference. You go down the middle of the road, where you find nothing but yellow lines and roadkill. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can gift with dignity. You can gift with style. You can, in fact, even gift with 100% nerd-approved awesomesauce (on the side, please, it’s very fattening).

But there is only one way to produce a nerdgift that does all of these things at once.

That’s right: knitting.

kniitting pattern here

Combining the edgy “ballhands” look of the nerdbiquitous Wii with woolly winter warmth, these adorable little knobs are the perfect ending to any tiny arm. I mean, come on, we all know nerds don’t hold hands.

The world has celebrity fatigue. No-one put it better than our own Glinda yesterday, and, with their Redbull metabolisms, 24/7 schedules, and short professional life expectancies, perhaps no group of people feels it more keenly than celebrity bloggers.

Such as myself.

While it’s easy for us to feel that our burnout is limited to those in our rarefied industry, occasionally we do see signs that our entertainer ennui is shared by people outside our exclusive demographic. Occasionally, in fact, we see something like this:

If, like me, you and your family are not fanatics for football, don’t fret; there are other Tivo-worthy sporting events today. Foremost among these is AnimalPlanet’s renowned and highly competitive Puppy Bowl. See the opening lineup here on Defamer, and see all the puppy cam you can stand below:

If your favorite team’s season went to the dogs this year, Animal Planet has some new recruits that are ready for their chance to conquer the pigskin—or a chew toy—in PUPPY BOWL V. The yearly canine competition is back as a new cast of pups takes the field for another year of dogged defense, puppy penalties and fido first downs. The action takes place on the grand gridiron of Animal Planet Stadium, where an all-star, all- “adoptable” lineup of rambunctious pups is ready to compete in the ultimate puppy showdown.

To kick start this year’s sports extravaganza is “Pepper the Parrot,” singing a unique rendition of the National Anthem. This year, every puppy featured in PUPPY BOWL V is recruited from a local shelter, so these pooches are free agents looking for a good home.

Plus, while the big guys are listening to “The Boss” at halftime, PUPPY BOWL has once again enlisted the help of some frisky kittens for an all-new edition of the KITTY HALF-TIME SHOW. Make your fantasy picks now and come online during the big game to vote for MVP (Most Valuable Puppy). PUPPY BOWL V premieres Sunday, February 1, from 3-5 PM (ET/PT).

It’s just as the Patriarchy is always saying: ovaries are dangerous and need to be controlled!

This soft pink uterus is ready for action! When it’s that time of the month, you may not like your uterus much, but hey, you wouldn’t be here without one, so give props to this special reproductive organ. Besides, if you think cramps are bad, you should try childbirth. This extra-soft 8″ x 7″ plush comes with an informative tag that describes the magic that is the uterus.

Actually, just these ones are dangerous, from my very favorite toy company in the entire world, I Heart Guts. They’re a toy company that specializes in, you guessed it, guts. Friendly, plushy guts. And if you’ve seen most of the twee, be-fanged PMSing Hipster-designed toys that are out there, a cushy colon or a fuzzy fallopian tube seems downright cuddly in comparison.

In any case, if you have the Plush Uterus and a young child is using it as a toy, you should take it away and apply for the refund, as the ovaries may detach and pose a choking hazard. And that would be a hell of a thing to explain to the paramedics, if you think about it.

Source unknown, passed along by Valar Morghulis

Well, they say the Germans are a highly efficient people. Not ones to sit on their hands, waiting for the time to pass. Why, just look at the uniquely successful Karl Lagerfeld; oh, Odin knows there is no shortage of strangely androgynous and Satanic Renaissance MeissenMen in Hamburg or Heidelberg, although it must be admitted there are perhaps not as many as there could be in, say, Frankfurt. Something to do with the weather, or the shortage of good S&M clubs.

Where was I?

Ah yes. Germans, I say, don’t mess around when they know what they want. They go out and they get it. And if it takes some doing, they just up and get doing it.

So it was with the now-famous German lovebirds Mika and Anna-Bell, ages six and five, respectively.

From the Guardian:

It is a dream that has been shared by lovers across the centuries – the chance to elope to exotic lands. But few would have been as bold and spontaneous as six-year-old Mika and his five-year-old sweetheart Anna-Bell who, after mulling over their options in secret, packed their suitcases on New Year’s Eve and set off from the German city of Hanover to tie the knot under the heat of the African sun.

The children left their homes at dawn while their unwitting parents were apparently sleeping, and took along Mika’s seven-year-old sister, Anna-Lena, as a witness to the wedding…

Donning sunglasses, swimming armbands and dragging a pink blow-up lilo and suitcases on wheels packed with summer clothes, cuddly toys and a few provisions, they walked a kilometre up the road, boarded a tram to Hanover train station and got as far as the express train that would take them to the airport before a suspicious station guard alerted police…

Mika said: “We wanted to take the train to the airport, then we wanted to get on a plane and when we arrived we wanted to unpack the summer things and then we wanted to go for a bit of a stroll in the sun…”

[Police Spokesman] Jureczko said: “They’ll have the chance to put their plan into action at a later date”.

They took along a witness. Now that, my friends, is German efficiency at its best!

Gift suggestions? Obviously: