Come in “prom wear” and receive a special Purity T-shirt which says “once you pop, you can’t stop.”
Um. Yeahno.
Wowzer.
What can you say about this? It’s right up there with PimpMyDaughter if you think about it. I mean, the very idea of “Hollywood,” jammed right up against the word “Purity,” not to mention the fact that the event producers proudly declare they are also behind “Hollywood Hellhouse,” and they got, of all the renowned emcees, the right reverend (?) Bill Maher, to host it, a man whose declared pre-show warmup includes such activities as…well, activities which would presumably preclude his attendance at an event dedicated to the Biblical ideal of sexual purity. (Update: note to self, don’t read gossip sites before coffee: the Hollywood Purity Ball is a spoof. These official Purity Balls, however, are real)
Purity Pledges
For Fathers:
I (Daughter’s Name)’s Father, choose before to God to war for my daughter’s purity. I acknowledge myself as the authority and protector of my daughter’s virginity, and pledge to be a man of integrity as I lead, guide, and pray over my daughter and her virginity – as the High Priest of my home.
For Virgins:
I (Name) pledge my purity to my father, my future/husband and my Creator. I recognize that virginity is my most precious gift to offer to my future husband. I will not engage in sexual activity of any kind before marriage but will keep my thought and my body pure as a very special present for the one I marry.
For Secondary Virgins (those who have engaged in promiscuous behavior) and wish to recommit themselves to lives of purity):
I (Name) re–pledge my purity to my father, my future/husband and my Creator. I now recognize that virginity is my most precious gift to offer my future husband. I deeply regret and will never again engage in sexual activity of any kind before marriage but will keep my thought and my body pure as a very special present for the one I marry.
Like, ew.
Am I alone in thinking that there’s just something the teensiest bit revolting about the whole thing? About fathers making sure that their daughters’ first dance and first date is with them? With the idea that virginity is the very best thing that you have to contribute to a marriage? With the really quite queasy-making proprietary interest of the parent in the presumedly future sex life of his child (I refer you to the logo at the top of the post)? With the public declaration of “Genitalia: Never Used! Like New!”
Cast your jaded eyes over the party pix from the gala event and between snickers at the fact that they’ve chosen perhaps the most socially libertarian celebrity they could possibly find to emcee, give a thought to the girls.
These girls are as young as eleven years old. They shouldn’t be dating anyone, let alone someone old enough to be their father! The rest of the world should, by rights, remain blissfully unaware of the state of their hymens, and in certain cases it has insisted on not being informed. Just as schools have been known to cancel “Pimp ‘n Ho” parties, so too they have begun to insist that so-called “Purity rings” do not constitute proper schoolwear.
And quite rightly, too. In this case the girl’s parents insist it’s part of her religion, but while certain sexual practices (including celibacy) may be part of a religious practice, there is no sect that makes the wearing of this ring a part of its doctrine.
Not coincidentally, the girl’s parents are on the volunteer executive of the company that sells these rings.
If gang members are prevented from wearing items which signify their sexual status (red wings, whatever) then surely it’s fair to expect everyone to abide by the same rules, whether or not you get Daddy’s permission.