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Friday Caption Contest Results: HBC and TB edition

You will naturally remember our colourful eccentrics from Friday, along with their surprisingly normal-seeming offspring. Your memory may be particularly aided, as mine was, by the realization that the dog blanket Helena Bonham Carter is wearing as a skirt here was probably designed by a reclusive genius from Andorra and likely cost more than I made this month, but that is neither here nor there.

It is time to announce the winner of the caption contest. Drumroll, please! And, from the looks of these two, a backbeat from the Salvation Army marching band as well.

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton and some normal looking kid

La Petite Acadienne Says:

Imagine his mother’s suprise when while, cleaning under his bed, Jeremiah’s mother discovered that while his schoolmates might bring home ladybugs, stray kittens, or tadpoles, little Jeremiah preferred to collect hobos.

Kudos, Godiva chocolate eggs, and nothing but the most soignée of imaginary fashion prizes to La Petite Acadienne! What shall we give her to mark her triumph over the challenge of the pyjama-sporting Burton and his warm-legged helpmeet whom I do not recall actually starring in Rent at any point…?

We shall award her these impeccably proper yet unmistakably sexy open-toed pumps from Givenchy:

Givenchy open toe pump

Friday Caption Contest Results: The Devil’s Pool Edition

Cast your minds back to last Friday and recall with us, the spine-tingling tale of The Devil’s Pool.

Have you noticed you never see any black people doing this, even though it’s in Tanzania? I have a theory that most tourists are travelling not because they enjoy it, but because their own countries got sick of them and asked them to leave. Perhaps we should point them in the direction of this awesome gene-pool-refining tool.

In any case, after a highly spirited round of captioning in the comments section, the time has come to declare a winner.

The Devil's Pool

gemdiva Says:

3 with apologies to Edward Gorey

1. Daddy, the world’s biggest fool
Took little Andre to the Devil’s Pool
Andre slipped and took a dive
Now he’ll never see the age of five

2. Little Willy told his father
That the edge of the falls would be no bother
Daddy fell to his death down there
Now Willy’s Mummy’s only heir

3. Mr. Brown, a real raving git
Thought the edge was a good place to sit
To the rocks down below Little Timmy fell
Mr. Brown said “so sad, but the picture is swell”!


gemdiva Says:

Two last and final………….

4. Mycroft, a precocious lad
Went to the falls along with dad
He tripped and fell into the creek
Mum rents his room now by the week

5. The family outing went out of whack
When Dad went to the falls with Jack
His last words, it would appear
Were “I can see our house from here”.

Despite some brilliantly amusing competition, gemdiva’s Edward Goreyisms slaughtered the competition (in convoluted, morbidly Victorian ways, of course) and emerged as the winner. We crown gemdiva Queen of the Devil Pool and hereby award her something suitably zany and old-fashioned: The John Fluevog Madly pump!

Truly. Madly. Deeply. Imagine Alan Rickman buying these for you

For extra sizzle, imagine Alan Rickman buying them for you, dressed as an Edward Gorey character (as, indeed, he often is).

Gashleycrumbtinies

PS: Seen the Edward Gorey posthumous take on that classic Star Trek tale, The Trouble With Tribbles?

Friday Caption Contest Results: Shampoo Baby Edition

Remember our bubbly baby from Friday? It’s time to announce the winner of the caption contest:

shampoo baby

Ortizzle Says:

Barnaby knew it was never too early to seek out creative ways of camouflaging the inevitable onset of male pattern baldness.

Congratulations to the winner! Congratulations, and imaginary shoes. I was going to offer up some cork-soled ones, but by god they are ugly sumbitches, most of them. These are much more presentation-worthy.

Celine

Saturday Spotlight: Goody Goody Shoes

Begun by a mom in her basement up in Northern California, her unique style of handcrafted slippers for children and women have been around for more than a decade.   These “Bon Bons” have silk and velvet uppers with non-skid suede soles.  The website claims that these are for “lounging in style.”

For me, some of the designs are a bit over the top, especially if the only people that are going to see them are my husband, my son, and our betta fish.  However, the fabrics are gorgeous, the craftmanship beautifully done, and I could picture myself in some of the simpler designs.   They run $29.00 for kids, $41.00 for women. 

Goody Goody “Poppy”Goody Goody “Evening”

Goody Goody “Athena”Goody Goody “Clover”

Goody Goody “Blue Jonquil”Goody Goody “Buckle”

Source

Would you purchase these for you and your kids to hang around the house?  At least you can feel completely glamorous while loading the dishwasher!

Friday Caption Contest Results

Neither wind, nor storm, nor rain, nor technical difficulties will keep this blogger from posting the results of the Friday Caption Contest, Elderplay Edition.

Seniors playground

Jennie Says:

Maude and Albert decided to experiment with spicing up their marriage after 35 years of the same old thing. However, they didn’t quite understand what “swingers” actually did and while it was fun, they never did see what all the fuss was about…

Congratulations to Jennie! And here are her honorary and decidedly stylish diva shoes, the Giuseppe Zanotti Ler Nero. As Julie Newmar demonstrates, you’re never too old to rock wicked heels.

Zanotti Le Nero

 

Friday Caption Contest Results: Piggy Edition

Remember Graham the Berkshire boar and his buddy from Friday. Now it’s time to announce the caption contest winner!

Pig Petting

Bellamama Says:

“Sorry, no autographs guys. Sukey’s got to be at the county fair in ten minutes for the weigh-in.”

 Congratulations to Bellamama! And now, for your imaginary shoes for the virtual presentation of the hypothetical trophy: Bean Boots! Less glamorous than some prizes we’ve pretended to hand out, these are far and away the most practical and durable and, really, were the only possible choice for this week’s contest. Your grandchildren will thank us when they’re still wearing them in 75 years.

Bean Boots

They’ll Get a REACTION, All Right

Have you ever been indecisive about buying a pair of shoes for your child?  Have you ever stared at them and thought to yourself, if only they had a great name, I would purchase these in a heartbeat!

I didn’t think so.

But apparently the marketing gurus at Kenneth Cole REACTION (uh, their caps, not mine) are under the impression that a saccharinely cute name will distinguish them from the rest of the pack.

Unfortunately, the word “distinguish” can be open to interpretation.

For your budding dominatrixWhip ‘N Skip

For those parents who want to give their children early exposure to, er, alternative occupations. No horizon is too broad for Kenneth Cole!

Not this oneA Faze ing 2 Dress Shoe

I’m not sure exactly what they were going for with this one.  A word play on “amazing?” But why doesn’t it make an ounce of sense?  And you lose me whenever you pretend u r 2 kewl to spell correctly.

Jim Carrey might appreciate the nameYum n Yummer Sandal

How did they know?  How did they know that making a  not-so-sly reference to a horrible Jim Carrey movie would make me want to get these? Bonus points for making up a word that doesn’t exist in the English language!

Huh?Blink of a Pie Canvas

Kenneth Cole, I’m beginning to think that your marketing department is harboring some sort of grudge against you.  Sending down a couple of pizzas now and then couldn’t hurt.

I’ll call you and raise you one bad nameAce of Braids

Sounds like this one was made up after one too many losses at the poker table.  It seems the bitterness didn’t stay in Vegas like it was supposed to.

And just to show that the girls have no monopoly on the dubious names, I present:

No sherpas hereHima Lion

Seriously, these people have no shame.  Even if it came with my own personal Sherpa, I wouldn’t get these because the name is just that bad.

I think there are some 6th graders who can come up with names that are just as good, if not better than the ones here.  I bet they’ll work a heck of a lot cheaper, too.

Friday Caption Contest Winner: Spinner edition

I hope that you, like our little gyronaut here, have taken some time out and had some fun lately; the holidays aren’t supposed to be all hard work!

And now it’s time to unveil the winning caption from last Friday:

Spinner

gemdiva Says:

While most kids dreamed of running away to join the circus, Timmy dreamed of running away from the circus. Especially at rehearsal time

 Another win for gemdiva! And now, to the hypothetical presentation of the virtual shoes for the imaginary ceremony, keeping the theme of casual fun in mind:

 Yes, more Giuseppe Zanotti!

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