Teeny Manolo

It is time to crown our champion (”tiara” our champion? I was always partial to WonderWoman) for last week’s Friday Caption Contest. It was a heated bout which brought out the best in our contestants, as you can see from the entries.

But there can be only one.

gamma Says:
April 11th, 2008 at 7:06 pm

An unexpected complication developed when
the Justice League discovered the Fountain of Youth.

Congratulations and blue Kryptonite to gamma, to whom we hypothetically present the honorary imaginary supershoes, the astro-fabulously creative Winnie mystery wedge boots:

I take the blame for one of our least lively rounds. Alas, bananas appear to be devoid of talent as a muse and nobody appears to have seen that Twilight Zone episode.  That said, we do have a winner in our most challenging challenge ever, and it is time to announce her:

gemdiva Says:
April 4th, 2008 at 5:04 pm

In what can only be described as a ghastly lapse in judgement the chef for the state dinner honoring the King of the Bananna people mistook the protocol book for a cookbook, effectively severing all diplomatic ties with Bananna Land before they had begun.

Congratulations and whipped topping to gemdiva, who walks away with the trophy once again. Cheeta, what do we have for our winner today? What else could we chose but the Glory leopard thong from Donald J Pliner?

Which is not to say the contest is static; no indeed, it is quite dynamic and interactive and all those Web 2.0 thingies. And as with much of Web 2.0, it is also ovah, so now we announce the winner in another historically close race:

La Petite Acadienne Says:
March 29th, 2008 at 5:44 pm

While many women have unusual cravings during pregnancy, Susan’s insatiable cravings for dandelion greens had unexpected results.

 And now to the hypothetical presentation of the imaginary prize. In the Springtime spirit of the comment, we’ve broken our self-imposed rule against cork wedges (we were traumatized by a Hang Ten cork wedge in the Seventies) and selected this undeniably sassy sandal from Marc Jacobs:

Not outside the box, just about outside.  You know, the place your kids go to burn off that extra energy and for you to keep your sanity.

And let’s face it, they need to get outside, just as you need to relax with your iced tea and some Oprah.

Let’s take a gander at some of the newest in outdoor toys.

The Pulse Kick n’ Go Xcelerator  has a lever in the back that enables the rider to push down on it frantically in order to whoosh down the street.  Unlike regular scooters, they never have to put their feet on the ground to get it going.  This looks like great exercise, actually, and I might buy it just to make sure the Munchkin falls asleep within ten minutes of going to bed.

Adventurous types only need apply for this next one:

The Xlider (because apparently it isn’t cool unless there’s an X in front of it) is an “independent foot stance skateboard.”  This roughly translates to: “Be ready to take your child to the emergency room on a moment’s notice.”

And for the athletic poser in the family comes the Grafeeti Shoe:

Because our kids don’t have enough things to distract them, shoes that you can write on have been invented.  The special pens can be used for artwork (or whatever) that lasts as long as the owner wants it to.  Can also be used as a cheat sheet.

You will naturally remember our colourful eccentrics from Friday, along with their surprisingly normal-seeming offspring. Your memory may be particularly aided, as mine was, by the realization that the dog blanket Helena Bonham Carter is wearing as a skirt here was probably designed by a reclusive genius from Andorra and likely cost more than I made this month, but that is neither here nor there.

It is time to announce the winner of the caption contest. Drumroll, please! And, from the looks of these two, a backbeat from the Salvation Army marching band as well.

La Petite Acadienne Says:
March 21st, 2008 at 10:41 pm

Imagine his mother’s suprise when while, cleaning under his bed, Jeremiah’s mother discovered that while his schoolmates might bring home ladybugs, stray kittens, or tadpoles, little Jeremiah preferred to collect hobos.

Kudos, Godiva chocolate eggs, and nothing but the most soignée of imaginary fashion prizes to La Petite Acadienne! What shall we give her to mark her triumph over the challenge of the pyjama-sporting Burton and his warm-legged helpmeet whom I do not recall actually starring in Rent at any point…?

We shall award her these impeccably proper yet unmistakably sexy open-toed pumps from Givenchy:

Cast your minds back to last Friday and recall with us, the spine-tingling tale of The Devil’s Pool.

Have you noticed you never see any black people doing this, even though it’s in Tanzania? I have a theory that most tourists are travelling not because they enjoy it, but because their own countries got sick of them and asked them to leave. Perhaps we should point them in the direction of this awesome gene-pool-refining tool.

In any case, after a highly spirited round of captioning in the comments section, the time has come to declare a winner.

gemdiva Says:
February 16th, 2008 at 10:00 am

3 with apologies to Edward Gorey

1. Daddy, the world’s biggest fool
Took little Andre to the Devil’s Pool
Andre slipped and took a dive
Now he’ll never see the age of five

2. Little Willy told his father
That the edge of the falls would be no bother
Daddy fell to his death down there
Now Willy’s Mummy’s only heir

3. Mr. Brown, a real raving git
Thought the edge was a good place to sit
To the rocks down below Little Timmy fell
Mr. Brown said “so sad, but the picture is swell”!

gemdiva Says:
February 16th, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Two last and final………….

4. Mycroft, a precocious lad
Went to the falls along with dad
He tripped and fell into the creek
Mum rents his room now by the week

5. The family outing went out of whack
When Dad went to the falls with Jack
His last words, it would appear
Were “I can see our house from here”.

Despite some brilliantly amusing competition, gemdiva’s Edward Goreyisms slaughtered the competition (in convoluted, morbidly Victorian ways, of course) and emerged as the winner. We crown gemdiva Queen of the Devil Pool and hereby award her something suitably zany and old-fashioned: The John Fluevog Madly pump!

For extra sizzle, imagine Alan Rickman buying them for you, dressed as an Edward Gorey character (as, indeed, he often is).

PS: Seen the Edward Gorey posthumous take on that classic Star Trek tale, The Trouble With Tribbles?

Remember our bubbly baby from Friday? It’s time to announce the winner of the caption contest:

Ortizzle Says:
February 9th, 2008 at 12:30 pm

Barnaby knew it was never too early to seek out creative ways of camouflaging the inevitable onset of male pattern baldness.

Congratulations to the winner! Congratulations, and imaginary shoes. I was going to offer up some cork-soled ones, but by god they are ugly sumbitches, most of them. These are much more presentation-worthy.

Begun by a mom in her basement up in Northern California, her unique style of handcrafted slippers for children and women have been around for more than a decade.   These “Bon Bons” have silk and velvet uppers with non-skid suede soles.  The website claims that these are for “lounging in style.”

For me, some of the designs are a bit over the top, especially if the only people that are going to see them are my husband, my son, and our betta fish.  However, the fabrics are gorgeous, the craftmanship beautifully done, and I could picture myself in some of the simpler designs.   They run $29.00 for kids, $41.00 for women. 

Source

Would you purchase these for you and your kids to hang around the house?  At least you can feel completely glamorous while loading the dishwasher!

Neither wind, nor storm, nor rain, nor technical difficulties will keep this blogger from posting the results of the Friday Caption Contest, Elderplay Edition.

Jennie Says:
February 1st, 2008 at 7:19 pm

Maude and Albert decided to experiment with spicing up their marriage after 35 years of the same old thing. However, they didn’t quite understand what “swingers” actually did and while it was fun, they never did see what all the fuss was about…

Congratulations to Jennie! And here are her honorary and decidedly stylish diva shoes, the Giuseppe Zanotti Ler Nero. As Julie Newmar demonstrates, you’re never too old to rock wicked heels.

Remember Graham the Berkshire boar and his buddy from Friday. Now it’s time to announce the caption contest winner!

Bellamama Says:
January 19th, 2008 at 6:09 pm

“Sorry, no autographs guys. Sukey’s got to be at the county fair in ten minutes for the weigh-in.”

 Congratulations to Bellamama! And now, for your imaginary shoes for the virtual presentation of the hypothetical trophy: Bean Boots! Less glamorous than some prizes we’ve pretended to hand out, these are far and away the most practical and durable and, really, were the only possible choice for this week’s contest. Your grandchildren will thank us when they’re still wearing them in 75 years.