The Rock continues to pound his competition, and I continue to use horrible, horrible puns using his name.  I’m sorry, I can’t help myself.  Mr. Johnson managed to win over Jerry O’Connell, but I hope you clicked over to the People story I had linked to last week.  Well worth the few minutes.

Today, and as God as my witness I am so glad it is Friday, I’ve got one smooth operator up as challenger.  He’s best known for his music, and my goodness, the man can certainly sing.  He also has a pretty impressive set of abs.  Just sayin’.

VERSUS

Would one Mr. Christian Bale please report to the Celebrity Dad Faceoff Hall of Fame?  Paging Mr. Christian Bale!

He manged to fight off quite the few competitors to earn himself a cushy retirement in the Hall.  He needs to say hello to Jon Stewart for me.

The ultimate victory brings two brand-new challengers to the game.  Both are British, one a musician in a band that hasn’t had a hit in quite a while. The the other is an actor who starred in one of the most critically acclaimed television shows ever.

And both are mighty pleasant to look at on a Friday.

VERSUS

Not Quite SFW…

via

To wit:

1. There will always be the overbearing parental unit who stands on the sidelines and bellows, “KICK THE BALL, JACKSON, KICK THE BALL!” pause “THE OTHER WAY, JACKSON, THE OTHER WAY!” pause “DAMMIT JACKSON!”

2. Your child’s interest in the sport will be inversely proportional to that of the coach’s skill level, i.e. your semi-pro Little Leaguer is stuck with a coach that barely knows the names of all the positions, and your lackadaisical basketball player will be hounded by the coach whose last team won the state championship.

3. Someone will always be unwilling to get to know the rest of the parents on the team.

4. One contingent of moms on the team will push for “healthy snacks” because they don’t want their kids “eating that crap” and the other contingent thinks the healthy snacks moms need to lighten up a bit.  Semi-veiled insults from both sides  may or may not ensue.

5. There will always be one mom who takes the after-game-snack to an entirely different level, including, but not limited to: personalized team logo M&M’s, custom snack bags with names done in calligraphy, full sized Gatorade bottles, and a veritable supermarket aisle’s worth of snacks in the bag.

6. Her polar opposite will also make an appearance, bringing only lukewarm water bottles and a single granola bar.

7. There will be at least one kid whose parents never stay for the games or practices .

8. Never sleep with your child’s coach when you’re married to someone else. It makes those pancake breakfasts so very awkward.

9. Your child will be on the team with the worst color uniforms.

10. You will tell yourself that your child’s performance on the field/court doesn’t matter to you.  But it does.

If you haven’t heard, there is currently a huge kerfluffle going on about a Friend of Teeny Manolo, Tavi Gevinson. My esteemed colleague raincoaster wrote about Tavi’s fantastic blog long before Tavi was sitting in the front row of couture shows in New York and Paris. And writing for Harper’s Bazaar, and being on the covers of magazines and being BFF’s with the women behind Rodarte.

Which, by the way,  has apparently gotten some fashion insiders quite annoyed.

And hey, I suppose that is their right to get annoyed at things.  I get annoyed all the time, I totally understand.

However, instead of taking the, ahem, adult high road and demurring politely when asked about the thirteen year old blogger, they are instead swinging for the bleachers.

Perhaps they are thinking that if Tavi wants to “play in the big leagues” she should be ready to take some criticism, and to some degree, that is true.  But they also need to take into account that no matter how mature she seems, she is still a thirteen year old.  And they are grown women. There is a difference between being candid and just being cruel, and it seems they have no problems being rather harsh about a teenager whom they see as their rival. 

One even had the temerity to criticiz Tavi’s father:

Why wasn’t Tavi at school?

At the Dior show, trying to fight my way backstage to get a quote from John Galliano, I nearly fell over a tiny, grey-haired woman who, from the back, I took to be a septuagenarian Japanese fashion fanatic, as she was dressed head-to-toe in Comme des Garçons. When she was ushered into the inner sanctum before me, and turned around, I saw, with a sick lurch, that it was actually Tavi Gevinson, the 14-year-old fashion blogger from Chicago. She was being shadowed by her father, an English teacher, and has recently dyed her hair the trendiest colour.

As a mother of a 14-year-old, my first thought was,“Hang on, isn’t it term-time in America, too?”. Had I not been so busy trying to attract Galliano’s attention, I would have asked Mr Gevinson why he thought it was right to take his daughter out of school to go to haute couture shows, where she would be treated like a celebrity by paparazzi? Or why he thought it OK for her to model for Pop and Love magazines last year?…

…It’s all happening too fast for Tavi, and I wonder if her father knows how to protect her from it. I hope she’s got her nose to the grindstone, catching up with missed lessons this week, but it’s hard to imagine a kid being able to come back down to reality after that.

I’m sorry, but there are some things that are possibly once-in-a-lifetime opportunities, and traveling to France to meet John Galliano would seem to qualify as one of them.  I would have no issues  taking my own son out for something even less exciting than that.  The quote above speaks as sour grapes masquerading as “motherly” concern to me. 

I think that Tavi is a wonderful writer, and her appeal to both the general public and the fashion world is undeniable.  Perhaps she may not always have the spotlight shining on her as brightly as it does at this moment.  Perhaps she will lose interest in the fasion world and its denizens and move her considerable talents on to something else.

But, she’ll always have Paris.

Happy Monday! Er, wait, is there such a thing?

Well, my pathetic attempt to have the internet decide if I should cut my hair was all for naught, as a full fifty percent of you claimed that the length of hair all depended on the person. Boo! Why must you be such a pragmatic bunch? Forty three percent said that as long as the hair was in good shape, it is all good. I spend enough money I my hair, it had better be in good shape. A refreshing five percent of you had a strong opinion and voted that after thirty or so, the hair should be shorter.  So great, my hair appointment is Friday and I have no idea what I’m going to do.  That’s what I get for being wishy-washy.

Today I’ve got a question regarding a couple who were arrested for giving their children homemade tattoos. The children ranged in age from ten to seventeen.

And all he got was some sore boobs.

Yeah, been there, done that, dude.

It seems Ragnar Bengtsson flew completely beneath my radar when it was announced that the 26 year old student was attempting to produce enough milk to breastfeed his child.  He was pumping at 3-hour intervals every day, hoping  to stimulate lactation.

I had no idea that it was even possible for men to lactate, although it is normally something that occurs when undergoing specific types of hormone therapy.  And even then, at most they produce only a drop or two, not nearly enough to feed a hungry infant.

Mr. Bengtsson began his quest for milk in order to promote a better “bonding” experience with his child and future children.  I sort of applaud his intent, if not perhaps agreeing with his method. He is quoted as saying, “Anything that doesn’t do any harm is worth trying out.”

We won’t count the sore boobs as harm, right Mr. Bengtsson?

You get both pictures of manly men Mel Gibson and Hugh Jackman holding stuffed animals!