For some, the best thing about Halloween is the wonderful excuse it provides to go out and get your scared on and scream your face off. This is why amusement parks open on Halloween, even though the weather’s always lousy. They don’t even need to dress the carnies up! Just tell them to come straight from the meeting with the parole officer, as-is.

But some, it seems, have taken it too far. From the not-so-very-distant Nanny State comes news that this year 54% of parents are too frightened of the risks of Trick-or-Treating and will keep their children home instead.

54% of parents will ban their children from taking part in the age-old tradition, with 45% citing road safety issues and 43% highlighting antisocial behaviour as a concern. And of those who will let their children out, 89% will be accompanied by an adult with 72% saying they will only allow their children to visit friends and neighbours they know.

But, despite the fears, the same survey revealed only 3% of children have actually been involved in an accident or crime while trick or treating.

John McNamee, chief executive of CSEF, said: “It’s encouraging to see that the vast majority of children who are going trick or treating will be doing so under supervision.

“This really is key to ensuring a successful and fun Hallowe’en for children, parents and residents alike.”

While any accident is an unfortunate thing, simply having an adult along will lower the risk. I for one would never let my children Trick-or-Treat alone and besides, isn’t this one of those “golden moments of childhood” things that you’ll look back on in years to come and fondly say, “ah, remember the time you had eighteen bags of candy corn and puked in Mrs. Smith’s rhododendron bush?”

I can see that you are all thinking, Glinda, you are teh crazy.  Why are you taking me back to the 1920′s, rating men I may or may not have heard of before in my life?

Trust me, my friends.  There is a method to my madness.

Now, last week we voted on some silent fim stars, and poor John Gilbert got the boot from Ronald Colman.  I feel badly for Mr. Gilbert, as he was never able to transform his success in silent film to “talkies.”  And he could not beat Mr. Coleman, which is almost as it happened in real life.  I shed a tiny tear for him.  Sniff.  Was it the fact that they looked practically like twins?  We’ll never really know…

So as is our tradition, the dark-haired Ronald moves up to the next round to face the next opponent, who happens to be a hot blonde.  And that opponent would be one of the most famous actors of his generation, and whose house was almost as famous as he was.  Look, it even has its own Wikipedia entry! And bonus, it’s for sale!

Ahem, moving on…

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It is with sadness that I recall a time when I was not yet a blogger full-grown, but was a blogger in larval form, cocooned in skidoo suits and footie pjs against that great day still in the future when the industry I was fated to dominate (work with me here, okay?) would be born. Sad those days were, indeed, not so much because of the lack of blogs (but kinda) but rather because of the presence of vast herds of easily-influenced, lowbrow trend sheep: back then, we called them white trash.

Remember those divine triple avatars of conflicted feminism, the Angels of Charlie? (ZOMG, I am channeling the Olo of the Man!) Somewhere towards the death throes of that show, perhaps the definitive television program of adolescent 70′s femininity (Mary Tyler Moore was just too damn chipper, and she didn’t get to toss her hair and yell “Freeze!” like wicked-cool Kate Jackson or, come to think of it, Angie Dickinson) they leapt the ferocious, fanged fish as badly as Fonzie. Verily, they pulled a Cousin Oliver! They started subbing in any old wannabe and trying to pass them off as Angels.

Remember “Tiffany?” The year after she appeared on the show (“replacing” Kate Jackson, oh please, as if anyone could!) Tiffany was the most popular girl’s name in the United States. Whatever the merits of the no-doubt-charming-and-intelligent little girls in question, it’s hard to go through life with a name that forever marks your parents as appallingly tacky, unoriginal people who get their best ideas off dying sexploitation tv.

I had hoped that this trend would vanish along with dashikis for white guys and nylon bodysuits for girls (the 70′s Chastity Belt). I was wrong.

They are with us even now.

Jayden, my friends, is a sweet-looking, apparently quiet and happy little boy. Britney’s youngest child, he and his brother have been photographed relentlessly since birth, as if they were some kind of miracle pandas: sometimes demonstrating gravity to Mommy and the ‘razzi, sometimes enjoying fine dining en famille, sometimes roving free within the confines of the moving convertible, sometimes playing with Mommy’s lighter and Marlboros. Oh, life is a carnival for the Federtots, constantly in the spotlight.

I wish to make it clear that I have nothing whatsoever against Jayden personally. I’m sure he’s a fine young man. I even have nothing against Britney, who is, after all, called Britney, and who could hardly be expected to name her offspring after the more popular 4th Century BC philosophers. I wish only to complain about the tens of thousands of people who have named their sons Jayden, after someone they have never met, who was saddled with a hickster name at birth he’ll probably hate his whole life (still better than Kal-El I guess) and who hadn’t even mastered bowel control when this sad-sack immortality by proxy was foisted upon him.

Last year, Jayden became the 18th most popular baby name in the United States of America. #2 in New York (which tells you something about New Yorkers that I did not know).

I asked you last week what you thought about Angelina Jolie’s W Magazine cover, and you overwhelmingly supported it with a positive vote of 91%. I agree. We have become so accustomed to the sexualization of breasts that we forget their real purpose. There is nothing inappropriate, there is nothing shocking. Just a beautiful picture of a beautiful woman nursing what is probably a beautiful baby.

This week we are going to discuss a dad. I love dads. I think they’re great.

But this dad? I’m not sure. The Tennessee resident decided to go against his wife’s wishes of naming their newborn Ava Grace and instead filled out the birth certificate with the name “Sarah McCain Palin.” Probably while the mom was sleeping, because according to the article, she didn’t believe that her husband really did that. But he did, seeing it as his way to support his chosen cause since he doesn’t have a lot of money to donate.

Welcome, my friends!

Welcome to the new version of Celebrity Dad Faceoff. Which, ironically, is going to be all about the old. Journey back in time with me, and vote for celebrity dads of the past. For fairness in regards to style of dress, hairstyles and the like, I am going to try to match celebrities within the same time period as much as possible.

So, get ready to discover some new faces, and rediscover others. And listen, just because these men were in their prime decades ago does not make them any less hot. Not in my book, anyway.

Our inaugural contestants had their heydeys back in the 1920′s and 30′s. John Gilbert was a huge star in the silent film era. Ronald Coleman was an Academy Award-winning actor who began acting in silent films as well. Seriously, I’m sort of swooning over their hair alone! Just to let you know, John Gilbert is the one with the black and white photo, while Ronald Coleman’s picture is the sepia-toned magazine cover. Yes, I know they kind of look alike in these photos, but you have to pick one!

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1. Assure your little one that they are the sun, and everyone else, including you, are merely insignificant planets that revolve around them.

2. Give them everything they want as soon as they want it.

3. Let them win every game they ever play against you.

4. Excuse their misbehavior.

5. Never follow through with a threatened consequence.

6. Provide them with no structure.

7. Be a bad example and expect them not to follow it.

8. Allow them to hit you.

9. Be their “friend,” not their parent.

10. Be quick to anger, slow to show affection.

Now, it’s your turn! Fire away at will!

Oh, it’s not the first time we’ve featured a singing daddy YouTube on TeenyManolo. But this is definitely the first time we’ve featured a singing daddy YouTube inspired by anti-establishmentarian rockers Rage Against The Machine. The song is by Jon Lajoie, it’s titled Stay At Home Dad and the beat is hardcore.

The lyrics, not so much.

via TheAdventuresOfTheReluctantHousewife and NagOnTheLake

Lyrics over the jump: (more…)

So, it didn’t take much effort for Johhny to kick Nic to the curb, with a quite embarassing (for Nic) ninety percent of the popular vote.  Presidential candidates could only dream of that kind of support.  Hmmm, mayhap we should start a write-in campaign…

I began to think that I was taking the wrong tack, that I was trying to fight Johnny with beefcake, and Johhny has a different quality altogether.

Sort of like our next challenger.  A bit o’ Brit, anyone?

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