Teeny Manolo

Oh, my. Mrs. Z (the artist formerly known as Beyonce) has a lot to answer for with this:

From PopGumbo via Gawker

Do you ever wish you had a son to pass on your wisdom to,
to continue the Chanel heritage?

That’s the last thing I want. I hate all children.
For other people, it’s fine, but not for me.
I was born not to be a family person.

From Prestige magazine, via Jezebel.

The Easter Bunny doesn’t hate you!  The Easter Bunny loves you and brings you cool eggs like these ones from Down Under:

Stolen shamelessly from the fantastic Magneto Bold Too!

For some strange reason, this week just sort of sped by, and here it is Friday already!  I hope your week went as quickly as mine did.  And if it didn’t, I just so happen to have some serious man candy for you today.

To be honest, I was quite surprised that Jason Bateman beat out Benjamin Bratt in last week’s Faceoff.  I was sure many of you ladies were going to go for the tall, dark, and handsome BB, but Mr. Bateman (who will always occupy a soft spot in my heart for being Michael Bluth) won the contest quite handily.

So, I am going to start throwing some heavy hitters at y’all and see what happens. I also wanted to let you know what hard, backbreaking work it is looking at pictures of handsome man after handsome man, trying to determine which one is worthy of this contest. I do it all for you, my friends. All for you.

Ready?

 vs.

more at twiigs.com…

From Masatoshi Okauchi/Rex Features in the Guardian

From Oh Baby London via CounterfeitChic

I bet that’s four words you never thought you’d hear together! But quite sensible ones, all the same. From the Hollywood Squares vintage files at lyndesquares:

Peter Marshall: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Oh, I’ll have a double helping of this.

Recall, if you will, Glinda’s thoughtful post on the concept of the “Alpha Mom.” The Alpha Mom would be described by those who aspire to Alpha-dom as a woman who has it all and runs it with aplomb. She would be described by pretty much everyone else as an insufferable snob, an undermining, competitive bitch, and a complete pain in the ass.

You know the type.

Well, the type, it seems, has a regular column in the Times of London (Mother’s Little Helper is the tagline; you can’t make this stuff up!) and we (as highly professional parenting bloggers) do cast a narrowed eye over the gilded ghetto of the Alpha Mummy column from time to time, holding our noses against the clouds of Coco Mademoiselle (Mademoiselle? Really? I thought you were 40, darling?) and squinting through the glare coming off all that lamé. You’ve no idea the sacrifices we endure for you.

Or the joys.

For lo, in the land of the TeenyManolo there was great joy last night at about 3am, when we saw the comments that regular readers had made on the Alpha Mummy blog. Possessed as we are of commenters both witty and supportive, we could only chuckle malevolently to ourselves as the delightful waves of Schadenfreude washed over us.

The post:

What to do this weekend. Kids.Modern fair.

Instead of spending the whole day in our pyjamas or doing the grocery shopping, this Sunday we’re heading to Dulwich for the Kids.Modern fair. This is the first fair, run by the folks who do the Midcentury Modern fair, but focussed on vintage and new design for kids. Children will be able to make t-shirts, make trays, play with toys, interact with digital wallpaper and more…

Okay, this is more of a post than I’d normally steal and re-post, but I just have to say: that, is, too, many, commas. And when I say that, you gotta know it’s true. Don’t they have copy editors at the Times Online? But the very cockles of our shriveled and dried hearts were warmed by tears of joy when we read the comments, which we are also going to steal and re-post. Behold and cheer:

ps am I alone in wondering if Jennifer’s kids will come home and start to interact with analogue wallpaper, otherwise known as scribbling on the walls….

Posted by: J | 24 Feb 2008 11:51:51

Actually I am spending all day in my PJs AND doing the grocery shopping, thanks to tesco online.

The younger ones appear to be playing in a cardboard box, whatever, I dont really care

Posted by: J | 24 Feb 2008 11:50:31

Is interacting with digital wallpaper as criminally dull as it sounds?

Posted by: Annamac | 22 Feb 2008 18:22:35

One can only assume so. And no doubt the budding Wallpaper editors will be thrilled to the very core at the chance to colour pictures of old Eames chairs and the like. Except, it seems that even the vast resources of the most respected newspaper in the world couldn’t get a picture of children doing this. I wonder how much they had to pay the two grups in the shot?

I mean, seriously, people (there go those commas again!) when the best you can think of to do for the weekend is to take your kids to a cunningly-disguised trade show, it’s time to stop breeding.

or Princess, as the case may be.

Now, it is rare indeed that you will find me flogging clothing for children that is specifically marketed as a “Black Tie Collection,” for rarer indeed than unicorn sightings at a Paris Hilton performance are the occasions on which children are properly invited to attend black tie functions (which of course begin in the evening) and naturally the use of “Black Tie” as a swanky euphemism for “expensive” is horribly infra dig if not actually nouveau riche.

But then, how is Marie-Chantal, Crown Princess Pavlos of Greece to know? Heiress, socialite, It Girl, designer and model Her Highness Marie-Chantal (formerly “Miller”) undoubtably totes her tykes to all manner of state dinners and debutante balls, and I’m sure she’s never met a nouveau in her life, especially since Warhol died before she reached puberty.

As I said, it goes against my stuffy, literal-minded grain to promote such a thing, particularly when the designer is all, like, “Oh, we just called the brand plain old Marie-Chantal” to be all down-homey while featuring a baby wearing a crown as her logo. Plain old Marie-Chantal indeed.

But.

But.

Would you look at these clothes? And, furtherto and forafter, would you look at the prices?

NAT
Lace Collar Shirt
Price: $102.00 Sale $30.60

NELL
Baby Girl Fancy Halter Dress
Price: $125.00 Sale $37.50

So you’d be getting a gorgeous little baby party outfit of heirloom quality for $68.10 instead of the completely-out-of-the-question $227.oo. That is what I’d call a frugal indulgence, and most definitely something to be considered when one simply has to commit an act of Salvation Armani.

For girls sizes 2-12:

God, I want that for myself! Yes, I confess it: I miss Laura Ashley!

NANETTE
Peal Style Cardigan
Price: $141.00 Sale $42.30

NEEMA
Raglan Blouse
Price: $134.00 Sale $40.20

NEW YORK
Reversible Dot Skirt
Price: $154.00 Sale $46.20

And the boys are not forgotten. They are just camouflaged as their grandfathers:

LANCE W07
Cashmere V-Neck Vest
Price: $141.00

NOAH
Boy “Grand-Pa” Shirt
Price: $122.00 Sale $36.60

NEWTON
Boy Dress Trouser
Price: $147.00 Sale $44.10

NORWOOD
Boys Blazer
Price: $218.00 Sale $65.40

One notes, one does, that Plain Old Marie-Chantal knows that good cashmere never needs to get marked down to sell.

She’s such a practical girl at heart.

It’s easy enough to live it up, given infinite amounts of cash; there are even expensive consultants to ensure you have a good time. As the lovely and perspicacious Glinda noted yesterday, it’s much more challenging to get out and enjoy entertainment, outings, fine foods, vacations, elegant clothing and other indulgences when you’re acutely non-prosperous (”poor”).

If these things are to your taste, you will have to apply your cunning brain and the grease of your very elbow, and you will surprisingly often find that these are enough. The following manifesto perfectly articulates this. It’s been delicately lifted from the book Frugal Indulgents: How to Cultivate Decadence When Your Age and Salary are Under Thirty, by Kera Bolonik and Jennifer Griffin, which we highly recommend to all. Naturally, we here at TeenyManolo are not ageist (and we may even be over thirty!) so we suggest these are applicable for frugals of all ages.

THE FRUGAL INDULGENT MANIFESTO

Frugal Indulgents celebrates liberation from capital:
True bouviessence (glamour at all times for all occasions) is,
believe it or not, independent of money.

There are certain basic principles that apply to every aspect
of life as a Frugal Indulgent.
These concern behaviour and attitude.
Before we begin, we feel it is important that you know where we’re coming from,
so we’ve penned the Frugal Indulgent Manifesto for your reading pleasure.
Follow these rules, and relish your imminently grand lifestyle.

• Never Act Your Age or Your Income. You may be young and poor, but you are also smart and tasteful. Try to let the latter qualities overshadow the former.
• Aim High. If you assume you can’t fly first class on your budget, you never will. Assume that you deserve the best, and try to get it. Sometimes you’ll prevail.
• Exude Confidence. The surer you appear to be about yourself, the surer others will be about you. If you act like you own the place, more often than not you will be treated like the owner.
• Fake it. If you are not confident, you can fake it. You think you aren’t fitting in at an event? Think you’re not qualified for a job? Not worthy of a date with a fabulous person? Shut up about it and pretend that you are. Chances are you are the only one who knows your shortcomings. If you act the part, you may get away with it.
• Never Apologize. The souffle has fallen., You ate the salad with the entree fork. Your sofa has seen better days: So what? Apologies put people on edge. Aplomb in the face of adversity puts people at ease. Friends and strangers will admire you for having the silent courage to showcase your quirks. Smile and keep dancing.
• Be Curious. Read everything. Talk to everyone. Ask questions. The more inquisitive you are, the more information you’ll gather. As the “Schoolhouse Rock” people used to say, knowledge is power.

* This post has been stolen wholesale from one of my other sites, where it lay pining like a neglected Cambodian orphan until being plucked from obscurity and adopted into the dazzlingly glamorous family of the Manolosphere.

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