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Webkinz Anonymouz

Dogbeard’s Bathtub Battles

Hi, My name is Glinda. And I’m addicted to Webkinz.

It began so very innocently.  A small stuffed chocolate labrador was a gift from Santa, and only recently did we get around to unsealing that little packet around its neck.  Little did I know that opening that packet was going to open a rather unhealthy relationship with a completely fake universe built around completely fake pets.

And what an elaborately fake universe it is, replete with a veterinarian, (Dr. Quack, of course) an employment office, a sort of Webkinz University, a gem mine, and so many items to buy with your KinzCash that any interior decorator would drool at the possibilities.

I mean, it isn’t my fault that if you don’t have enough KinzCash, you can’t feed your pet.  And that to get the KinzCash, you have to play games and trivia quizzes. It certainly isn’t my choice to have to mine for precious gems in order to qualify for a Crown of Wonder.  I had nothing to do with the decsion to make the Wishing Well as exciting as a slot machine.

I mean, please don’t tell me I am the only parent in the world who somehow finds themselves playing Dogbeard’s Bathtub Battles after their kids have gone to bed. 

Seriously, please tell me that.

What they need to do is make it much more boring.  You know, so moms kids won’t want to play so often.

Monday Teeny Poll

Last week’s poll addressed attitudes toward homeschooling and people who choose that option.  Multiple choices were allowed, and the category with the largest percentage of votes was the “imparting religious instruction not given in public school” with almost sixty percent.  Now, that may or may not be true, but I had a feeling that was a perception among most people.  The next category with the most votes with fifty one percent was, “their views differ from the mainstream.”  I thought it was a really interesting poll, and I thank you all for your honesty.

Now, doing my normal thing of zooming into an entirely different subject, I’ve got one about candy and how much candy kids get during holidays and celebrations. This weekend, my son got more candy than he could ever eat. Now, what to do with it?

Listmania! Ten Great Non-Toxic Toys

Another great way to “go green” is to give your child toys that are made out of non-toxic materials.  With all the toy recalls, it is becoming tougher than ever to try and figure out which toys are safe for your child.   I’m here to give you some toys you can feel good about, because wondering if a toy could possibly harm your child should never be an issue that a parent has to deal with.

 Plan Toys Forklift 

Plan Toys Forklift & Doll

All Plan Toys are safe and environmentally friendly.  Their wood toys are made out of recycled rubber trees and their paint colors meet all international standards.  (Read: Euro standards which are more stringent than US standards.  Now why is that, anyway?)

Plan Alligator Pull Toy

Plan Dancing Alligator Pull Toy

Makes a very fun clickety-clack sound, and kids are fascinated with the way the alligator moves.

Melissa and Doug Cutting Food Box

Melissa and Doug Cutting Food Box

Kids love playing with pretend food.  Even better? Being able to “cut” the pretend food! All Melissa and Doug toys are made with non-toxic paint and wood.

Melissa and Doug See and Spell

Melissa and Doug See and Spell

Great for beginning spellers, this toy helps them to learn their letters in both tactile and visual ways.

HABA Flapsi

HABA Flapsi Clutch Toy

German-made HABA toys are coated with non-toxic laquer.  This toy makes a clicking sound that will entertain your baby, and is safe for them to gum.

Melissa and Doug Deluxe Stamp Set

Melissa and Doug Deluxe Stamp Kit

Your kids can make hundreds of different designs using the washable, non-toxic ink pads. 

A Day at the Zoo by ImagiPlay

A Day at the Zoo by ImagiPlay

Made from renewable, sustainable materials, this cute zoo set meets all international safety standards. 

Melissa and Doug Band in a Box

Melissa and Doug Band in a Box

Is it loud?  Does it make a huge racket?  Of course it does! That’s why kids adore musical instruments.  This set has a set of cymbals, which is sure to please any young musician.  Just make sure you have some ear plugs handy.

Plan Toys Activity Bus

Plan Toys Activity Bus

This bus opens up to become a classroom with chairs, figures, a blackboard, and books!

Melissa and Doug Deluxe Wooden Folding Princess Castle

Melissa and Doug Deluxe Wooden Folding Princess Castle

Now I am all for unisex toys, but I have to say this looks freaking awesome.

Psssst…

I’ve got the scoop on some of the hottest new toys coming out in the next few months.  These toys made their debut to sellers just this week at the annual Toy Fair held in New York.

These the ones you will be tripping over and cursing at as you make your way across the floor in the middle of the night.  Chances are, if your kids are in the right age brackets, you will own at least one of these. 

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Ugly Betty Dolls, que linda!

Nobody loves them some Ugly Betty as much as me, but these incarnations from Madame Alexander just don’t seem to be capturing that certain je ne sais qoi Betty has.  Or is it just me?

 Hannah Montana Wig

This is a Hannah Montana wig, although I don’t know why you couldn’t just raid grandma’s closet for one of her old wigs.  Or you could ask to borrow one from your local cabaret performer.  It would probably be a heck of a lot cheaper. 

Hulk Hands Go Bam!

Hulk Smash Hands!  Because nothing excites boys quite as much as sanctioned ways to beat each other up.  Apparently these have some very cool sound effects to mask any sounds of pain.

Planet Earth Monopoly

Of the bazillion different editions Monopoly comes in, this looks to be one of the cooler ones. 

Taters of the Lost Ark

Taters of the Lost Ark (!) Mr. Potato Head.  That exclamation mark is totally mine, because the marketing team behind the name was clearly under the influence of something during the pitch.  I have to admit it’s kind of awesome, though.

Source

Monday Teeny Poll

Thank you note from child

With last week’s poll about cell phone usage floating around somewhere in the internet ether, I am unable to give you a tally of the results.   It seemed that middle school aged children were winning out as the right age to first give a phone to a child, but since the poll was only up for about five hours, that is a bit unreliable. Goodbye last week’s poll, we hardly knew ye!

In a nod to raincoaster’s handwritten Valentines post, I ask you:

Source

Rice, Rice Baby!

Rice, Rice Baby

Cigars are so Twentieth Century! The next time you welcome a blessed event/accident into this world, pass around something personalized, trendy, and highly nutritious.

Rice Babies:

Japanese Yosimiya is selling bags of rice printed with a newborn’s photo, name and date of birth. The bags are shaped to resemble a swaddled baby. But the key feature is that the bags contain the baby’s exact weight in rice.

This is the very definition of a cute idea, and could, in fact, be improved only by including matching donations to the food bank. Mind you, there’s alway some killjoy who’ll hand it back, asking for something more Atkins-friendly. Oh, well. It’s good to find out who the bad fairy is before the christening, I always say.

Interestingly, at a price of $32 US (3500 Yen) this puts rice babies at an average of $4.27 per pound, whereas white rice sells for $2.52 a pound, and live human babies apparently sell to the State of Texas for around $66 per pound, although the production time is longer, giving a rather pitiful net return on investment of only $0.07 per hour of production time.

Obviously, you’d be better off convincing all your trendy friends to become pregnant and give you rice babies instead of growing real ones of your own. Lower in fat, too.

A Modest Proposal

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