Furnishings | Teeny Manolo - Part 2

Archive for the 'Furnishings' Category

A Guide to Bunkbed Buying

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009
By raincoaster

Bunkbeds is probably the coolest sales site I’ve ever seen, and you should totally buy your next bunkbeds from them. Because why? Because hellOOOOOO, what other children’s furniture site offers hawt, bleeding edge internet quiz goodness like How Long Could You Survive Chained To A Bunkbed With A Velociraptor? Eh? I ask you.

What more do you want?

The Ground Rules

  • Both you and the raptor are tethered to the bunk bed with 7 foot chains
  • The chains are unbreakable and cannot be removed from the bunk bed
  • The bunk bed is light enough that you can drag it a little
  • You are free to run around the bed or get on the top bunk

Try and outlast me, gentle readers! I make that velociraptor my bitch for a full minute and nineteen juicy seconds!

I could survive for 1 minute, 19 seconds chained to a bunkbed with a velociraptor.

via Cvxn

Toys of Death Given New Life

Tuesday, January 13th, 2009
By raincoaster

You may recall, if you are possessed of a decent memory or just patience enough to scroll to the link which raincoaster will inevitably supply, the recent ban on the sale of toys that have not been tested for lead or pthalates. Mighty was the outcry among toy companies both small and large, and hideous indeed were the wailings of shops dealing in second-hand items. There was lamenting, and the rending of garments (non-returnable and made in China) and the toysellers of the nation believed themselves accurst.

That’s not your problem.

Your problem is…that funny-looking toy sitting quietly in the corner: is it invisibly emanating pthalates all over your family when your back is turned? Perhaps lead-shedding? Without a budget for lab testing, how can you ever know?

Well, there’s hope. A paladin has ridden in to possibly take some of the potentially-poisonous playthings off your overloaded hands.

The unequivocally-named We Want Your Toys is your knight in shining (but presumably cleaned with biodegradeable products) armor.

If you are finished with any of these toys we want to buy them from you.
Please email us low resolution photographs that show the condition of your toys along with your shipping address and if we can use your toys we will send you a check, packaging and prepaid postage.

Ducky and sharky table

And they will use those toys to make funky, postmodern furniture, like the glass-topped table made out of plastic duckies and sharkies. Presumably, artsy, postmodern glass-topped tables are less likely to be found in the vicinity of children, and certainly they’re less likely to be found in the vicinity of intelligent parents like you.

These are the first generation prototypes of high technology
scavenging of recycled plastics for furniture. The Recycled
Toys are laser scanned and digitized into a computer, they are
designed and arrayed like bricks, their intersections are
defined as cutting paths, and a robot cuts their joints and
connections with precision. They are then welded together
with a tool used to repair car fenders

The toys in which they’re interested are all plastic moulded rocker toys:

  • Little Tikes Rockin’ Puppy
  • Little Tikes Classic Whale Teeter Totter
  • Big Toys Duck Kickboard (looks more like a platypus to me, though!)
  • Big Toys Shark Kickboard
  • and last but not least, the Chicco USA Rock ‘n Roll Eggplant

Seriously? Rock ‘n Roll Eggplant? People buy eggplants for their kids to ride on? Where is your PRIDE, people? Where is your sense of HISTORY? Come on, if the poor kid is growing up to be vegan, isn’t that punishment enough?

De-bunking the Bunk Bed

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
By Glinda

I have a thing for bunk beds. I think they are truly a very cute idea, and if children have to share a room, they can be a great space saver. Unfortunately, I have only one child, so a bunk bed doesn’t seem to really be in my future.

However, that won’t stop me from looking at some current bunk bed offerings and thinking, “Blech!” I’m not a fan of modern furniture in general, and these bunk beds have strong modern lines, so perhaps I’m predisposed to not liking them unless they have some sort of curve in them. Is it just me? Or maybe I’m just expecting too much, design-wise. Is there really a whole lot you can do with bunk beds?

I like to think that just because they are little, kids shouldn’t be ignored when it comes to nice furniture. It doesn’t have to be expensive, it just shouldn’t be, you know, ugly. These beds, for me, don’t cut it. Especially for the prices they want.


I appreciate the extra storage on the side, but I do not appreciate the traffic-cone orange. Besides, it seems as if by placing the lower bunk perpendicularly, it takes away any space advantage you might gain from having a bunk bed in the first place. This one will cost you almost two thousand dollars.


Glinda can’t tell you why exactly, but Glinda no likey. It looks very, uh, industrial. And $2150 dollars? No way.


Now don’t let the cute bedding distract you. This is not something I would enjoy looking at every day, and for $1,900, I need to enjoy looking at it.

Building a Better Baby Crib

Wednesday, October 15th, 2008
By Glinda



According to Make Blog, a company made this supposedly snake-proof crib back in the early 1900’s.

Sometimes I wonder why they were called the good old days.

Putting It On Ice

Thursday, August 21st, 2008
By raincoaster

What Your Fridge Says About You

You aren’t greedy, but you don’t really deprive yourself either. You strike a good balance with the stuff you buy.

You tend to be a fairly thrifty person. You splurge occasionally, but you’re mostly a saver.

You are a very adventurous person. You love to try new things, and you get bored very easily.

You are responsible, together, and mature. You act like an adult, even when you don’t feel like it.

You are likely to be married – and very busy.

Actually, that’s pretty far off, even for a random internet quiz. I wonder what it would say about me if my fridge were this freakily futuristic fridge/table hybrid from Gorenje? The whole design does not sit well with the Fridges Rights Movement on DVice:

If I was a refrigerator, I would be feeling pretty unappreciated right now. What’s a table ever done besides hold food level? If you leave cheese on a table for a few days it’ll go bad, but if you keep it in a fridge it’ll stay fresh!

FridgeTable from Gorenje

You won’t need to stand up to get the milk carton, but you’ll know deep down that you’re doing something wrong.

True enough. Convenience is one thing; the closety element of disguise here takes it to the rarefied level of those ridonkulous Victorian frilled pantaloons on piano legs. Not to mention the superstructure here makes it impossible to argue with someone sitting directly across from you…which is really the whole point of sitting directly across from someone, or is that just me?

CrazyForts = Crazy Good

Sunday, July 13th, 2008
By raincoaster

In the world of toy designs, some rare creations are so enriched with the superfabulousness that comes from pure genius that it’s hard to believe they didn’t always exist.

CrazyForts is one of those designs.


Like oversized TinkerToys, these safe and sturdy frames can be put together in almost infinite variations. And you get to keep the cushions on the sofa where they belong! To create the world’s most customizable fort, just pop the frame together in the configuration of your choice and throw a sheet over the skeleton. It’s up to the kids if they want to use the Star Wars ones or the flanellette cowboys, though. You don’t want to interfere with creative genius.

Listmania! Mini-Me Edition

Sunday, July 6th, 2008
By Glinda

Kids just love to pretend that they are older, don’t they? The Munchkin loves to sweep and vacuum and be all grown up, just like the Scarecrow and me. Too bad we are probably on the last legs of this trend, and sooner rather than later I will be bribing him just to make his bed.

But, for the kids that are still groovin’ on the grown-up thing, these are just the ticket.

PhotobucketPlayskool Dusty the Talking Vacuum Cleaner with Bonus Mini-Vac Has animation, fun sounds and even Dusty’s friend Brushy! And oooh! Bonus mini-vac!

PhotobucketLittle Tikes Mulching Mower Love stuff from Little Tikes! This one has “mulching action” aka little bouncing balls, a gas cap, and realistic sounds that will be sure to be a big hit.

PhotobucketLittle Tikes Shopping Cart The Munchkin got this cart when he was three, and he adored it. It doesn’t just have to be a cart for food, it can be a cart for just about everything! Be prepared, though, to have your child careening around the house with it. They just can’t help it.

PhotobucketLittle Tikes Tot Sports Easy Hit Golf Uh, it seems like Little Tikes should be giving me some sort of commission here. For your budding Tiger Woods, this can be played both indoors and out.

PhotobucketWooden Take-Along 24-piece Tool Kit From Melissa and Doug, this cute little toolbox gets high marks for creativity and safety.

PhotobucketLearning Resources Pretend & Play Doctor Set Many doctor sets don’t have enough equipment, but that isn’t a problem here. There’s enough for an entire medical team!

PhotobucketLearning Resources Teaching Cash Register Check it out, from ages thirty six months to seven years! Not many toys have that kind of longevity. Show me a kid who doesn’t love a cash register, I dare you!

PhotobucketLifeStyle Dream Kitchen A big hit with both boys and girls, this kitchen from Step 2 has great attention to detail, including “stainless steel” appliances and “granite” countertops. It also has lots of fun little extras like boiling water sounds and a 28-piece cookware set.

PhotobucketAnimal Hospital Pet Vitamins! Boo-boo cream! Little invidual cages! Keys that open separate doors! This set by Parents is everything an aspiring vet could want.

Just What You’ve Always Wanted

Thursday, March 13th, 2008
By Glinda

Amana Jot Dry Erase Refrigerator

Your eyes are not deceiving you, the little girl is indeed writing on the refrigerator.

Introducing the Amana “Jot” model that comes with a front composed of the same material as Dry Erase boards.

Just think of the incredibly detailed notes you could leave! 

What do you think? Cool or not?

Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
Copyright © 2004-2009; Manolo the Shoeblogger, All Rights Reserved

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