Teeny Manolo

Now that Ms. Spears is back, slimmed, extended, tanned, rested and ready, the tabloids are begging to know her diet secrets (what, “chainsmoking, three hours of daily rehearsals, and not eating” doesn’t work for them?). We here at TeenyManolo have sussed out the situation, made contact with not a few shady characters (are there any else in her life?) and discovered the secret.

Here, at last, via Meg Tucker, is the long-rumoured recipe for Britney Spears’s Cheeto Chicken Casserole!

Britney’s Cheetos Chicken Casserole

Ingredients:

4 to 6 chicken breasts cooked and cut into bite-sized pieces
1 can of cream of chicken soup
4 hard oiled eggs
1 onion diced
1/4 c. mayonnaise
1/4 to 1/2 c. chopped celery
1 bag of Crushed Cheetos for topping

Directions:

1) Mix above ingredients together and put into casserole dish
2) Crush enough Cheetos to cover top
3) Bake in 350 degree oven for 30 minutes.

Or just adapt a page from the great Samuel Johnson, who explained that “A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing.”

Have you and your kids got your $250 tickets to celebrate Miley Cyrus’s Sweet Sixteen at Disneyland on October 5th (Miley Cyrus born Destiny Hope Cyrus on November 23rd)? Disney’s taking no chances on party guests being thin on the ground; they’ve piggybacked events in a way which would make even Porky blush:

Miley Cyrus is celebrating her Sweet Sixteen at Gay Days at Disneyland.

The 11th annual Gay Days event, which attracted 30,000 gays and lesbians to the park last year, actually takes place October 3-5. Gay Days describes itself as a “mix-in with straight parkgoers,” where the LGBT crowd wears red shirts.

Dress accordingly.

via Defamer

Unlike my last foreign film list, this one features only animated movies. Yes, Disney, Pixar, Dreamworks and other US movie studios seem to have quite the monopoly going on the animated front. But, there are more than a few movies from other countries that deserve our attention as well.

My Neighbor Totoro Sisters Satsuki and Mei must go live in the countryside with their father while their mother recovers from an illness in the hospital. They find their new “neighbor” is a magical forest spirit, and this movie about their adventures together is pure magic.

Spirited Away Yet another movie directed by the legendary Japanese director Hayao Miyazaki (you’ll find most of the movies on this list are his), a young girl named Chihiro is forced to work for an evil witch. She finds inner strength, and is eventually able to free her parents and her friend, who have been under the witch’s spell.

Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit Brits Nick Park and Steve Box have created two of my favorite animated characters. This movie finds Wallace and his dog Gromit battling a mysterious Were-Rabbit. Can they save the vegetables from the hungry Were-Rabbit in time for the annual vegetable contest?

Kiki’s Delivery Service Kiki, a thirteen year old apprentice witch, must find her place in the world.

Howl’s Moving Castle The evil Witch of the Waste turns young nineteen year old Sophie into an old woman. In her quest to end the curse, Sophie finds love as well as her true self.

Chicken Run- Aardman Studios, who brought Wallace & Gromit to the world, made this movie about chickens who are trapped on a chicken farm. They dream of leaving, and after many escape attempts, the situation becomes especially dire after Rocky the rooster lands among them. Can the super-smart Ginger, along with Rocky, who promises to teach them how to fly, lead the way out?

Castle in the Sky Inspired by Gulliver’s Travels, the story follows orphan Sheeta and her friend Pazu as they outwit the evil Muska. Watch as they travel through the magical world of Laputa with some rowdy sky pirates.

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind A thousand years after a devastating war, Princess Nausicaa is humanity’s best hope for survival, as she is the only one who understands the importance of saving the polluted forest which borders the lands on which they live. The first of a long series.

Wallace & Gromit in Three Amazing Adventures Two of these adventures won Best Animated Short Oscars, and one was nominated. These are three hilarious short films with claymation characters that will have you and your kids rolling on the floor.

Actually, this has nothing to do with parenting, but in the face of a rather large earthquake and a blogiversary on top of that I discover myself to be overcome with emotion and thus, just feel like sharing this with you.

This is remarkable video of one of LA’s most secretive police units, ICE: Illegal Canadian Enforcement. They sweep the streets clean of Canuckistani invaders, tipped off by nothing more than a glimpse of an NHL jersey, a whiff of maple syrup, or even just a whistled bar of “Snowbird.”

from EvilBeet

I think it’s a beer commercial, but with Canadians it’s so hard to tell. I need more back bacon and poutine…

Many and varied are the sorry tales of bloggers betrayed. From Dooce getting … dooced to blog scrapers scraping the bottom of the barrel, ripping off bloggers, it seems, is the new black. Well, now this loathesome crime wave has come to TeenyManolo.

We … we feel so violated.

Undoubtably, it happened this way: some Hollywood assistant was trawling Google Alerts for her boss’s name and stumbled across our very own Glinda’s patented (but, regrettably, not trademarked) Celebrity Dad Faceoff series. Lightning or some other substance struck, jolting the normally torpid PA into action; TeenyManolo would be milked dry and left, dessicated and violated, by the side of the Information Superhighway.

Celebrity Dad Faceoff would be made real. But as any denizen of Oz could have told you, you do not mess with Glinda without getting your posterior put in a sling and additionally several Tupperware containers of various sizes. Yes, you can rip her off, but you will be accurst forevermore! And so it has come to pass.

How can we tell this ripoff is cursed? Just look at the only two they could find to star in it:

OK! Magazine claims Michael Lohan intends to challenge K-Fed to a boxing match. Michael tells OK! “Everyone wants me to fight K-fed because he’s a notorious celebrity dad and so am I. It’s for charity.”

…

Michael goes on to say “It’s serious boxing. You have to go get a trainer. I have to register with the Mature Boxing Association.”

One would have to have some maturity first, you’d think.

Ahhhh! School is in the air! For some of you, including me, school days have already arrived. But, it’s never too late to enjoy a great school movie with your kids. Most of these are for older kids, so as always, parental discretion is advised. But really, that goes without saying, doesn’t it?

High School Musical Resistance is futile! This mega popular movie has been going strong for almost three years and counting. Can the star basketball player and the shy new girl become a pair? It’s a Disney movie, what do you think?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone The classic that first introduced us to Hogwarts. And who in their right mind wouldn’t want to attend Hogwarts?

School of Rock Jack Black, in probably his best starring role. He becomes a subsitute teacher at a stuffy prep school, and nothing but fun can happen with Jack Black as your teacher.

Napoleon Dynamite Follow the nerdy socially challenged Napoleon through his trials and tribulations in high school. Love those tater tots, and don’t forget, vote for Pedro!

Dead Poets Society If you did not shed a tear at this movie about a group of students at a boarding school and their special bond with their teacher, then your heart is a lump of charcoal. Go have a barbeque instead.

(more…)

Mousewitz/Duckau, the Magic Kingdom, is not so magical if you’re a protesting labour activist trying to protect your health insurance.

Service workers in their hotels, 2,300 of them, have been without a contract since February…32 Snow Whites and winged fairies were HAULED OFF to the pokey. And then the witch who works for Disneyland told the AP that “workers have protested 14 times but sat down to negotiate only 11 times in the past six months.”

Then again, Maleficent was magical, too.

Here are our fearsome subjects for Friday’s Caption Contest. Don’t listen to their silvery tongues; they will try to tempt you with cookies!

The force is strong with all of you, for you have chosen Ewan MscGregor over David Boreanaz. David fans put up a good fight, and Ewan won with a small margin of seven percent. Apparently, you were as taken with him as I was in Moulin Rouge. You know, because his role in Trainspotting just does not count.

Today’s mancandy challenger is one you might know via a little show with a hospital called Seattle Grace.

Cute guy coming up, stat!

vs

This kid-based trailer for The Dark Knight from Wizard Universe is perhaps the most glorious single YouTube in all of recorded history. Why so serious indeed!

via Defamer