Teeny Manolo

The Hollywood machine has turned out some great children’s movies to be sure, but for some reason, parents tend to overlook foreign films as an alternative to too much Disney.  These films portray a very different world view than most American films, and that is a view that we often forget is well worth watching.

The Red Balloon (France) Set in Paris, this boy and his balloon are not easily parted. Completely charming, even though there is no dialogue.

White Mane (France) A companion piece to the Red Balloon, it is the story of a young boy and the wild horse he tames and their struggle against adults who wish to control them.

The Butterfly (France) An elderly butterfly hunter embarks on a trip to find an elusive butterfly and discovers he has a suprise companion.

Children of Heaven (Iran) A brother loses his sister’s only pair of shoes, and they are afraid that their parents will find out, since the family is too poor to buy another pair. Can he win her a new pair in a school contest?

The Blue Umbrella (India) A girl owns and then loses a very special blue umbrella, but in the end she finds something even better.

Cave of the Yellow Dog (Mongolia) A young girl finds an adorable black and white puppy, but her father is afraid that the dog will go after his sheep.

Rabbit-Proof Fence (Australia) Three girls are taken away to become part of Australia’s aboriginal “Stolen Generation” and this movie is based on a true story of their journey back home to find their family.

Whale Rider (New Zealand) The only film on this list to have a PG-13 rating, the performances and story line of this movie about a girl who must overcome her family’s disapproval to follow her destiny is too good to miss.

Love home-made pancakes and waffles, but just don’t have those lazy three minutes to throw the ingredients together? Well fret no more: the organic Batter Blaster is here!

Yes, this is real. Aerosol pancake batter.

God, I’m a sucker for ridonkulous retro commercials.

It was a heated competition this weekend, but the time has come to announce our winner and present the hypothetical swag:

smark Says:
July 21st, 2008 at 8:57 am

Say what you want about the Evil Empire, they did have a great employee picnic.

Congratulations and imaginary riches to smark for the winning entry. And what shall we hypothetically present for the virtual trophy of the theoretical competition? A little something to cushion the landing, in softest eiderdown and highest-of-high-tech microfiber:

Leave it to the Japanese to make a toilet training device with no sense of shame but an overdeveloped sense of theatre and the bizarre. Stolen from JapanProbe, here is the World Famous Shimajiro Toilet Training video, subtitled in English. Over at JP they have the actual sounds the machine makes as MP3 files as well: if only this little device looked like the Dora the Explorer aquapet, my day would be complete!

You know what to do, so do it to him in the comments section:

I was moderately good at math when I was in school, but then as always profoundly lazy and am thus, very glad that The Guardian’s Hadley Freeman, the only UK fashion writer worth following, has gone ahead and done the cold, hard calculations. Yes, as you’ve always suspected, there is a specific formula to the monetary value of celebrity baby photos.

Now, nobody here is asserting on the record that breeding is more lucrative than releasing a new album. On the record.

But…

Once A-list children made their debut at the Crillon ball in Paris; now they’re on the cover of a Richard Desmond publication - OK!, generally, not Asian Babes…

Some might think these prices are the product of a celebrity-obsessed media that believes its own self-produced hype. In fact, they are the result of a strict mathematical formula: Value of pictures = Fame of parents x glamorousness of mother during pregnancy x general attractiveness of both parents (no one wants to fork out a couple of mil for an ugly baby) + any past scandal that either parent has overcome to reach this ending + funniness of child’s name. Divide amount by two-thirds if child is adopted: the interest in celebrity kids is to see how the celebrity’s genes have fared, you see.

As if there isn’t already an obscure branch of calculus devoted to the economics of celebrity adoption. I believe that Cambridge will shortly boast the Madonna Chair in African PhotoOps.

I have officially fallen in love with the Wii.

We played it constantly when we were visiting with family this summer, and will be getting one for ourselves in short order.   The graphics are outstanding, the games are fabulous, and some of them require quite a bit of movement.  And, can I brag here that I KO’d the Scarecrow in boxing?  I am the champion! Actually, I am afraid that I will find myself wanting to play it just as often as the Munchkin.

But, what games to get?  I did some research, and these are some of the best games for the whole family, rated “Everyone” by the ESRB, which is the rating system of the gaming world.

Mario Kart Wii with Wii Wheel  You don’t have to get the wheel, but it sure makes it a lot more fun.  Mario Kart is a rollicking good time with fantastical race tracks.  And lots of them!

Super Mario Galaxy Follow Mario into space and travel with him across planets and galaxies as he tries to save Princess Peach from the evil Bowser!

Wii Fit How could I not include the talk of the town? The skiing and snowboarding games are supposed to be the most enjoyable.

Rayman Raving Rabbids Get the most out of the innovative wii-mote as you assist Rayman in the gladiator battles that his rabbit masters are forcing him to play. Sound a little crazy? Well, it’s definitely crazy fun!

Excite Truck More of an arcade game than a real “racing” game, you go off-roading and jumping obstacles. You’re still going fast and there are just as many thrills and spills.

Elebits You are a spoiled child whose parents need your help! Go around with your raygun and collect Elebits so that your town can regain its electrical power! Destructive, but non-violent fun.

Boom Blox A collaboration between Steven Spielberg and gaming giant Electronic Arts, this promises to never get old with over 300 levels! Use objects like bowling balls and fire hoses to clear your path through brain-twisting challenges.

Mercury Meltdown: Revolution Guide your “blob” through mazes and obstacle courses to complete levels. A great game for the budget-minded, it’s one of the cheapest, yet is just as enjoyable as the blockbusters.

WarioWare: Smooth Moves A wonderful multi-player game, you will find it hard to play because you are too busy laughing to try and figure out what you are supposed to do!

Endless Ocean: Dive, Discover, Dream A video game that could almost be described as relaxing! Become a SCUBA diver and explore the ocean and everything in it.

Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Collection Feel sorry for kids who have never played pinball because you can’t find the tables anymore? This is the closest you are going to get to the real thing without actually having the real thing!

Have you heard of Scare Tactics? You won’t forget it after this revoltingly morbid birthing video. Click at own risk (gross, btw!):

From the SciFi Channel, via Defamer

My son has nothing to do.

And that’s fine with me.

From the time school ended, we have been on two vacations as well as various day trips since the Scarecrow was still off work. Then he had a week of day camp, and then came the Fourth of July and all the related shenanigans.

That is a lot of stuff packed into three weeks.

So I have deliberately scheduled nothing for the next two weeks. I’m trying to give the Munchkin the gift of being able to utilize that time when you are essentially your own boss. To learn how to amuse himself without the benefit of anyone else around.

I am of the opinion that we are doing our children a disservice by the constant bombardment of activities we deem important to their development. Classes, endless playdates, daycamps, and even daycare deliver large amounts of stimulation. An overstimulated child is not a happy child.

Equally important to their development, if not more so, is the ability to be by yourself. To be able to entertain yourself independently. The value of devising plays, lying on the grass, reading a book, constructing towering Lego buildings without help, and creating elaborate stuffed animal tableaus is vastly underrated.

And even though it means that I am currently listening to the very loud crashing of dozens of large wooden blocks, the kid needs all the practice he can get.

I could do one of these myself, but Defamer already used all the best names. Yes, the Mini-McConaughey has arrived, and has also been given the conspicuously Old Testament name of Levi Alves McConaughey, but let that not stop us. I’m not 100% sure, but I think anyone can vote on their site, although not comment. But everyone can vote here!

Keep in mind the family’s colourful tradition of nomenclature: his nephew is named Miller Lyte, and there was a consistent rumour he wanted to call the kid Bud. I’m just sayin’!

Defamer’s suggestions for names:

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