Drop The Baby | Teeny Manolo - Part 2

Archive for the 'Drop the Baby' Category

It’s All My Fault (As Usual)

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011
By Glinda

Here come the fine folks at the University of Minnesota to reassure us moms that yes, we have the ability to screw up our children, and good.

Among other things found in the Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation, researchers found that:

The strength of the bond you formed with Mom during the first two years of life strongly affects how efficiently you and your partner will move beyond a fight and join forces to accomplish mutual goals.

Those people who had formed a strong bond with their mothers were better able to resolve conflicts with their partners, and those who were not as fortunate tended to not play nice in a fight. 

Not all is lost for those who didn’t resolve conflicts as quickly.  The study found that if they had a partner who was able to “get over it” quickly, then the relationship fared better.

But wait, couldn’t that be said of any relationship?   If your partner doesn’t really care, I  would think it would be easy to move on from conflict no matter how much you hate your Mom. Jebus.

I swear, every psychiatrist should have a plaque in their office saying, “Thanks, Mom!”

Don’t you think?

The One in Which I Make You Feel Like the Best Parent Ever

Thursday, December 16th, 2010
By Glinda

I’m only telling you this because we are such good friends.   And also because if you think Child Services should be called, you don’t know where I live.

I was on the phone with my mother when I noticed the Munchkinette sidling up to the front of the Christmas tree.  Now this puts her between the tree and the middle front window, so between being on the phone and a dicey sightline, I don’t see what happens next.  Until, of course, it’s too late.

And what happens next is that I see her proudly holding a glass Christmas ornament in her little hand.

I give out yell because I’m thinking she’s going to drop it. I begin running toward her.  Er, well, probably lurching is a better term for it.

She does me one better.

In one of those slo-mo effects in the movies, I watch as she crushes the ornament in her hand.

At this point, I let out a full blown scream because I’m envisioning myself in the ER with her thrashing around as they stitch up the million cuts in her hand.  Also, I’m a little pissed because it’s one of the intricate ones handed down to me from the 1950’s and I’m wondering why she couldn’t have chosen a regular old ball.

So I’m continuing the lurch and watching what seems like hundreds of little glass pieces scatter around her, which I finally crunch through and grab her.

I frantically seize her tiny hand, fully expecting shards to be stuck in it and blood dripping down her arm.

Nothing.  Not a scratch.

No aftermath of any kind except for me losing a very cool ornament and having to thoroughly vacuum. 

We’re thinking of having her pick out our lottery numbers.

Things I Hate: Babies Talking Like Adults

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010
By Glinda

I might be the only one, but watching babies speak with adult voices creeps me out.

I didn’t like it so much in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” which was the first time I remember seeing the concept. But at least it was understandable as a plot device, and it was an animated baby, which made it a bit easier to swallow. And maybe because it was just an awesome movie in general.

The E*Trade commercials are the ones that really freak me out, because it is a real baby with a (poorly) CGI’d mouth, and some snarky, slacker-sounding dude doing the voice. The dissonance is what is supposed to get your attention, but it makes me actively loathe them in a manner that just isn’t seemly.

The jury, however, is out on this one. I find it strangely compelling, but it certainly doesn’t make me want to buy Evian.

Actually in watching that again, I think the scariest part is the French voice at the end, which sounds like a parched, chain-smoking adolescent. Which come to think of it, makes me think of drinking water. So touche, Evian, touche.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Sunday, May 9th, 2010
By Glinda


Have I ever told you about my first Mother’s Day?

The one where my husband was working, and I was getting ready to go to my sister’s house for dinner. The Munchkin was seven months old, and I still treated him as if he was made out of china. For some reason, I tried to put him in the Baby Bjorn (even though, hello, the walk to the car was all of twenty steps) while standing over his crib.

Well, because I treated him so delicately and because I was always afraid I would clasp the Bjorn wrong, I did exactly that. The Munchkin went tumbling out of the Bjorn, hit his head on the side of his crib, and then fell on the floor.

Yeah, it was as as bad as it sounds.

So my very first Mother’s Day was spent in the ER, thinking I had just caused irreparable brain damage to my child. One for the memory books, for sure.

And that is my gift to you, the present of feeling vastly superior in your parenting skills.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Bad, Bad Santa

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009
By Glinda

Courtesy of SketchySantas:

bad santa4

bad santa13

bad santa11

bad santa9

bad santa15

bad santa17

bad santa16

Monday Teeny Poll

Monday, October 19th, 2009
By Glinda

Balloon boy

Last week I wanted to know what you thought of Hilary Swank and her admitting that her boyfriend’s six year old son sees her naked.   From what I understand, it was both when she was in bed (uh, nice) and possibly walking around.  A full sixty-eight percent of you felt that it was very inappropriate.  Twenty percent thought that everyone should just relax.

I happen to think that especially since she is not his mom, it is highly inappropriate.  I mean, the kid is six years old, does he really need to see his dad’s girlfriend naked after she spent the night? Sorry, but yuck. 

As for today’s question, I HAVE to ask about balloon-boy and his family.  If you were sick with the flu for the past few days or under some sort of rock, here’s a link to the story.

Monday Teeny Poll

Monday, October 5th, 2009
By Glinda

demi moore pregnant vanity fair

In last week’s poll, I asked what you thought about the fertility industry and if it needed to be better regulated, and sixty-six percent of you agreed.  A rather large percentage, almost thirty, decided that you were undecided.  I happen to think after seeing cases such as Octomom and the article I linked to where a woman was implanted with someone else’s embryo, make a fairly clear case for more oversight.

Today, a groundbreaking study asked the question “Why don’t pregnant women tip over?”  Go here for the answer to this question that I’m sure has been plauging all of you for years.

For Your Friday Night Amusement, Obi-Wan and Baby

Friday, September 25th, 2009
By Glinda

Obi-wan and baby

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