Teeny Manolo

Alas, poor raincoaster; you knew her well. But the fact is, she’s not the same this week. It’s true. I’ve crossed the line. I’ve become one of The Others. You know, THOSE PEOPLE.

The employed.

I have, in fact, become employed by two different companies this week, which wouldn’t normally be such a killer except I’m so, so very used to nothing more than sitting in my pj’s in one chair all day, moving only periodically to let the pizza boy in so I don’t starve.

If you order twelve you get two free and then you’re set for another 14 days!

Anywhateverkins, one of these jobs involves raincoaster being A) presentable in the morning B) awake in the morning and C) on her feet from the morning all the way to early evening.

And this does not take me to my happy place.

Mind you, there are good things to be said about the job: it’s a marvelous opportunity to look at what other people are wearing and make up snarky captions in one’s head all day; it’s a good opportunity to meet lots of men, as the pizza boy just does NOT seem to be responding; and it’s great to see that, indeed, the world is NOT ready for the return of stirrup pants.

But, truth be told I am absolutely wrung out, and it’s only my second day. I have a few choice words for the person who invented this “working for a living” thing. Fortunately, I work right outside a spa and the first thing I did was enquire about some hawt pedicure and massage action; I’m gonna need it.

Tomorrow I buy a new pair of flats (yay, flats are not only in, but on sale!) and those spongy insoles that say nobody is going to be drinking champagne out of my MaryJanes anydamnways, so what the hell. At least I’ll be comfortable. So my posts are going to be going up at wonky times for the next week until I get used to this, and they may be even more demented than usual! You’ve been warned!

Fortunately, while I’m occupied in productive sessions with either salaried labour or the epsom salt footbaths, the Internets have provided for your amusement the following roundup of the bizarre and parental, so click onward and enjoy!

The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator (PolitTskTskTsk)

Kate Moss’ daughter is a rock off the old block. CHIP! I meant chip! (DListed)

Trump’s tips for raising tip top tots and kickass kids! (CeleBitchy)

Housework blogger wanted (5MinutesForMom)

Cute OVERLOAAAAAD!!!!! (CelebrityBabySmack)

There’s a dirty pun to be made here, but I’m not the one to do it (GoGetYourJacket)

Dance Party Workout (ParentHacks)

Talk Like a Pirate Day is Saturday! (Limeshot)

Why, this video, of course!

For something produced in 1946, I find it really quite modern.  Feministing gave it a definite two thumbs down, but for when it was made, I’m sure it was considered fairly forward-thinking. 

The narrator is quite dispassionate, and after watching this, I began to think that maybe we just make too much fuss over our periods altogether. Maybe we should just buck up and get over it…

What do you think? Hopelessly outdated and old-fashioned, or actually rather refreshing?

Ewan McGregor is on a tear. I’m going to have to throw the big guns at him.

The big guns I have been waiting for practically since the beginning of Celebrity Dad Faceoff, with those long ago first contestants of Jack Black and Will Ferrell. Remember them?

This particular matchup is really hard for me, as I really like both of them. And as for now, I’ll be keeping my vote secret.

Although I’m going to exercise my editorial discretion by taking my Johnny Depp with short hair and no beard. Ahhhh, yes…

vs

This ad is so very wrong, but I can’t help but love it anyway. Weren’t things just so very simple back in 1941? Just smack a kid around and give them a laxative!

And I have to admit, I am digging those spectator pumps. I have a thing for spectator pumps because even when they are standing next to a screaming child, they still look good.

via Boing Boing

Well, at least they’re both healthy. I think this first one is what happens when cat ladies get pregnant.

I could do one of these myself, but Defamer already used all the best names. Yes, the Mini-McConaughey has arrived, and has also been given the conspicuously Old Testament name of Levi Alves McConaughey, but let that not stop us. I’m not 100% sure, but I think anyone can vote on their site, although not comment. But everyone can vote here!

Keep in mind the family’s colourful tradition of nomenclature: his nephew is named Miller Lyte, and there was a consistent rumour he wanted to call the kid Bud. I’m just sayin’!

Defamer’s suggestions for names:

Attention Bloggers:
Click here to enter our Stylin’ Stila giveaway #2!

I’m already on my trip, but I can assure you that I overpacked.

I am going to stand up right here an now and admit to you all that “Hello, my name is Glinda and I am an overpacker.”

In this day and age of charging for extra baggage on flights, this is not a good thing.  Not at all.

However, every time I underpack, I find myself in dire need of something.

On my engagement trip to San Francisco, it was pants. Even in August, San Francisco is c-c-c-cold.

On a trip with a toddler, it was a particular type of diapers.  And nothing sucks more than having to hunt for a specific item in unfamiliar territory.  Just for expediency’s sake, I’m sure I spent more than I would normally be comfortable with.

And, we have all had to make that unfortunate trip to the hotel gift shop, and then forking over eight bucks for a tube of toothpaste.  A small tube of toothpaste.

But not Glinda.  Not since what our family has labeled “The Swim Diaper Incident” has she been without anything that she needed, anytime, anywhere.  Even on a trip to the park, I will pack everything I think we could use.

Often I am mistaken for a pack mule, but I’m ok with that.

Boy Scouts got nothing on me.

It’s the weekend. Kick back and have a few lols. Lyk dese:

Er, well, maybe these are just games I’ve never heard of before. These games are fun for the whole family, and perfect for those game nights! They all promise to not be boring for the older set, as there comes a point when you can play Candyland or Monopoly only so many times.

Quiddler Ages 8+ Sort of like Scrabble, but with cards. And a little more complicated.

Five Crowns Ages 10+ It comes closest to rummy, with five suits. Start with 3’s, and they are wild. Go on to 4’s and 4’s are wild, and so on…

Blokus Ages 5+ A game of strategy, in which your blocks may not be adjacent to anyone else’s blocks, but yet touch at least one corner of one of your other blocks. And once the block is down, that’s it!

SET Game Ages 6+ A card game where the object is to find specific sets.

Pass the Pigs Ages 7+ A game of chance in which you accumulate points by rolling two cute pink piglets.

Wild Planet Hyper Dash Ages 7+ An electronic game that gets the players moving! The game gives commands as to specific targets, and you have to run around the house or yard to get them! Has four different levels and four different game modes to challenge memory, coordination, and teamwork.

Mayfair The Settlers of Catan Board Game Ages 12+ Catan is an imaginary island that is different every time you play the game! The players are explorers and settlers who develop things on the island.

ThinkFun Rush Hour Ages 7+ Set up cars and trucks and try to maneuver your way through rush hour! Forty “road block” cards and four difficulty levels keep this game challenging!

Ticket to Ride Ages 8+ Claim your own railway route across the United States before your opponents get there first!

Deluxe Pit Ages 8+ A card game where you “corner the market” of a certain commodity. You’ll feel just like a stockbroker. But you’ll still be able to feel good about yourself in the morning.